Myths and Legends Two Thousand Years from Now

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There was once a great cataloger of the Anglo Language. Their name is thought to be Webster, it is unknown if Webster was a single individual or a collective of individuals, credence is given to a collective by the long time span that new dictionaries were created. It is also thought that some Webster dictionaries are actually period forgeries, borrowing the name of Webster to get name recognition. It has been determined that Merriam Webster Dictionaries are the original editions.

Coca Cola was the drink of the white bear gods, who were symbols of times of festivity.

It was once believed that the only women of worth had very large breasts. Archeological evidence indicates that silicon bags were inserted into the chest. Empty silicon bags found in coffins indicate the deceased's status.

There was a god named Lionel who used to create trains.

Many of the cult of the god Cell also revered a lesser deity known as Siri. Siri was the messenger of Cell and many prayed to her for guidance.

There was once a great warrior. He was a great leader, and great fighter.

Was not only skilled in military grand strategy, and leading huge armies: he was also skilled with one-on-one hand to hand combat. Using numchucks and the like.

He was known for leading the south against being conquered by the North, OR he was famous for defending the Northern Realm, from the South (the stories conflict). But his kingdom was called "Scotland" , and was also known as "Dixie". He was born in Canton (Mississippi? Or Ohio? Or south China?) and rose to lead the armies of Scotland against the Yankees (aka the English).

His name was "Robert the Bruce Lee" .

Some say that he never really existed.

But some scholars think that he actually is a conflation of two, and possibly even of three different people mentioned in the ancient chronicles: a certain general named "Robert E. Lee", another military leader named "Robert the Bruce", and a certain athlete named "Bruce Lee".

OMG, you guys----these are so, SO GOOD!! I especially like the one about the polar bear / Coke----I used to LOVE that commercial!!

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I wish I had the brain for this kind of creativity----I'll give it a try.....

It is believed that the god, Jack, would appear on earth, once-a-year, to light children's paths as they went from house-to-house giving candy to poor children. It has been said that the children never feared his snaggle-toothed face, as he was always smiling.

There was a powerful cult that arose for a mysterious deity known as McDonald, it is thought that McDonald was a borrowed god from much older Celtic religions. His temples were located in almost every medium to large establishment across the North American continent, with occasional temples appearing even as far as Asia, across the great sea. A mysterious golden arch or sometimes arches are usually found at sight locations. The meaning of the Arch is unknown. The McDonald cults seat of power was thought to have resided in the ancient city of Saint Louis in the province of Missouri. A massive silver arch was uncovered at that sight near the river.

The ancient religion of Tolkienism has been one of the most baffling and complex religions ever created by humanity, and one of the greatest of the epic heroes is Toto Baggy-pants. The many myths are obscure about where Toto came from, but most agree that he had humble origins and eventually ascended to a higher plane of existence in the place known only as Valor.
Feel free to add onto this if you want!

Emerging research places the cradle of the Tolkienism mythology in the ancient country of Angleland. References in the myth commonly mention a shire, a common partial place name for many locations in Angleland. The prophet Gandalf was thought to have lived as far back as 3500 years when Anglelish speaking peoples first began migrating to the island.

Oh, and Saint Ronald McDonald is also the patron saint of clowns, screaming children, creepy things, and societies based on consumerism and commercialism.

In the ancient, possibly mythical, kingdom of Amerikka, America, or 'Merica, many worshipped a small orange deity known as Garfield.

Little is known of his cult's history, but those who revered him served him lasagna, and obeyed his every command.

He was frequently accompanied, in sacred images, by a subservient canine Immortal whom he apparently despised.

And who seemed not to notice at all

Long ago in a land known as Columbica or America, there was once an epic known as Star Trek. There is significant archaeological evidence to suggest that its many followers were known as Trekkies or Trekkers, and those passionate followers embarked on many quests and pilgrimages across the universe.

... and in those days, word went forth that Apollo would send his eagle to the moon, for Mercury - he of winged foot - would but fly once through the sky and rested in the Great Western Sea.

"Behold" cried Apollo, "I need a man of strong arms to drive my chariot to the moon and land my eagle there! Kneel before me and become my vassal!

And so the strong-armed man didst kneel before Apollo and the eagle didst envelope him in his wings. And Apollo arose on a column of smoke and fire, and didst fly to the moon.

Forty days and forty nights they traversed the darkness, with Apollo driving relentlessly forward. Soon, they achieved tranquility, for there was much strife in the world, and the peoples of the world fought the War of Coldness, with many brave young men from the west dying in the east.

Then the strong-armed man spoke "Indeed, this is tranquility, and the eagle has landed."

And there was much rejoicing.

Some varieties of humans lived as colonies in incredibly tall stone formations riddled with evenly spaced, square ventilation holes. Some of the ventilation holes have shards of clear, sharp edged silica material around the edges; it is assumed this was to keep out predators. It also appears that each worker-person was allocated a tiny cell or "cube" in which they would spend much of their lives, and they would sleep in a "task chair". Although the social structure is uncertain, it would appear those at the top of the colony-structures ranked higher as they were allocated more space.

While water tubes and waste facilities have been identified, it is not clear how the colony acquired food or other needs as it would seem they had nothing to trade. The most likely theory states the colony produced "reports" which were made of "paper". It is assumed that like certain insects they chewed wood fibers into this material in their "cubes". Such a product might be useful outside the colony as a form of fire kindling, wrapping for food, etc.