Myths and Legends Two Thousand Years from Now

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Some varieties of humans lived as colonies in incredibly tall stone formations riddled with evenly spaced, square ventilation holes. Some of the ventilation holes have shards of clear, sharp edged silica material around the edges; it is assumed this was to keep out predators. It also appears that each worker-person was allocated a tiny cell or "cube" in which they would spend much of their lives, and they would sleep in a "task chair". Although the social structure is uncertain, it would appear those at the top of the colony-structures ranked higher as they were allocated more space.

While water tubes and waste facilities have been identified, it is not clear how the colony acquired food or other needs as it would seem they had nothing to trade. The most likely theory states the colony produced "reports" which were made of "paper". It is assumed that like certain insects they chewed wood fibers into this material in their "cubes". Such a product might be useful outside the colony as a form of fire kindling, wrapping for food, etc.

That could actually make a good inscription on an Apollo memorial

Well, that's bleak!
Once upon a time, as the stories state, there was a magnificent entity known as LEGO. This entity produced massive amounts of peculiar and colourful building materials with which humans used to make buildings, monuments, and great works of art.

I meant Edenthiel's post, by the way. Sorry for double posting.

Not at all! Our scientists and sociologists are confident that these people (apparently known as "Colonials" or "Colonists" according to documents from the general era of their origin) must have been quite content as each had a role in the survival of their colony. Collectively they even had a single identity in which they must've taken great pride. It was known as a, "Corporate Person" and appears to have been quite powerful in the larger overall social structures of the time. And from surviving mass media accounts it's clear that the ones at the top of the colony - who may have served the same function as say a queen bee or termite - were much admired, maybe even worshiped. They were known as, "Capitalists". Linguistic experts have shown that to be a positive term of the era, as in, "Why that's a capital idea!", thus indicating they were well loved.

There was once a great nation founded by the people of Hamburg. Their leader was known simply as the Burger King, and millions of people followed his national symbol of grilled cow meat, fresh vegetables that weren't really fresh, and weird doughy circles.

This is fantastic! We have found some of those weird doughy circles in the living quarters ("cubes") of our Colonists! The inscriptions on the container seem to indicate a connection to some sort of spherical, sulfurous root vegetable, yet chemically the rings do not contain any of the necessary compounds to indicate actual plant ingredients. Most puzzling.

I now wonder if the people of the Burger King traded with the Colonists? Judging by the amount of processed "wrappers" we found, it is clear BK used large amounts of paper (which as we all know was produced in the Colonies) to protect exported food products? Also, there is a document from the period that mentions Colonists and King George - could that have been a predecessor or contemporary of the King of the Burger family line? And who is "Ronald"? We found food wraps in the ceremonial storage bins with that inscription, as well. Were they at war with The King?

According to Tolkienism, among the stars it is said lie the great rings of power, also known as halos. The rings are said to have the power to create, destroy, and dominate all life. A master ring was created to control all others, known simply as the ark. These rings appear in many art forms of the old world, most notably above the heads of the Noter Dame Saints, arbiters of humanity.

It has now been revealed that the cults of Saint Ronald McDonald and the cults of the Burger King once created a holy war to fight for supremacy, but a mysterious third cult known only as the Stag of Stars and Money arrived on the scene and was crowned victor. Curiously, the national symbol of the Stag of Stars and Money was a mermaid, which really has nothing to do with stags, stars, or money.

Yes- the tales of the great dynasty from Hamburg are legend.

The lineage of the Kings of the Burger reigned for centuries. But gradually the Burger Kings became corrupt and oppressive until the legendary king named "Ronald" got the nation to "stand tall" and led the overthrow of the Burger Kings, and founded the just Mc Donald Dynasty.

The legendary founder- Ronald McDonald was so beloved that later kings of other dynasties would invoke his name as their "role model" (notably king George Bush the Second).

The beloved Ronald McDonald was also known as "Ronald Ray Gun" because of his dream of defending the land with laser guns. Though some scholars have recently suggested that "Ronald McDonald", and "Ronald Ray Gun" may actually be a conflation of two different,unrelated, but both real, historic figures.

Our historians deduce that Ronald Ray Gun was considered such an outstanding example of perfect behavior, that

to say 'He is a real pistol!' was the highest compliment one could give.

And 'He is such a son of a gun!' was extremely flattering, as well.

The devil was believed to have lived on the mythical isle of Tasmania, a land forgotten in memory.

From the fabled land of Whisk Konn Synn, came the legendary warriors known as Paqkers.

Those who revered their exploits wore huge wedges of cheese upon their heads and became temporarily hysterical

during the Fall and Winter months as their champions vied in some mysterious gladiatorial contests.

From the mysterious land of Ka-na-dah, a peculiar sport was played called Hooky. The main objective in Hooky seemed to be whacking fellow players with long flattened sticks. The winners would drink from the Stan Lee cup and become a hero known as the Marvel.

I have visited Whisk Konn Synn in the Institute's MID (memory implant device) and can confirm that it appears they are no mere myth; rather, those cheeseheads are the stuff of Legend, built upon actual fact. Nothing - absolutely nothing - could stop them from partaking in the personal viewing of the Paqkers. Except perhaps, the shortage of something known as "Schlitz", a substance of mystery.

Once, long ago, the great Nin-Ten-Do pantheon ruled the world, and created many quests for mighty heroes such as the enigmatic East Side Mario and the Missing Link.