Myths and Legends Two Thousand Years from Now

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Once, long ago, the great Nin-Ten-Do pantheon ruled the world, and created many quests for mighty heroes such as the enigmatic East Side Mario and the Missing Link.

A Great Hero named Paqkman once vanquished many foes.

Not much is known about the foes, as Paqkman apparently ate them.

Not much is known about other things during that time, as Paqkman apparently ate those as well.

Our anthropologists are not sure whether Paqkman is at all connected with the Pacquers.....

Nor are they aware of Paqkman wearing large cheeses on his head.

Research continues.

More research is developing about the mysterious Rectangle E. Nyx. No one knows who he/she is, as he/she has countless faces and many aliases, but we can agree that many of his/her many guises had weird hair, giant or unusual weapons, and was a surprisingly good storyteller [most of the time].

At one time, a Nuclear Disaster or Climatological Devastation was expected.

The only life form expected to survive was a type of insect known as Beatle.

For this reason, they were apparently revered, and four anthropomorphic avatars created.

Many musical compositions were made in their name, and many generations knew them by heart.

The Pink Floyds were the gods of illusions. Like many gods of the time, they came in a set of 4. If one could surpass their legendary Wall they might reach the dwelling of the Floyds on the dark side of the moon. They say that their echoes can be heard in the ocean tides.

"Beware the Maan, my son! The jaws that bite! The claws that catch!"

"Aw, dad! That's just an old tale!"

"Not so," said his mother. "Maan and Omaan were vicious creatures who enslaved our people and hypnotized us with their Las-Poitier Magic."

"Dad? What's a Las-Poitier?"

"A wand that shot a light into our eyes that drove us crazy. Now go to sleep."

Soon, the older kits were curled against each other, snoring softly. Their father padded over to their mother and gazed in pride as his newest six kits nursed quietly.

"They're almost done," she said, swiveling an ear toward the others. "Why do you tell them those stories? You know it makes them curious."

"Don't worry, my love. Curiosity hasn't killed anyone in my family for many years. Besides, we know that Maan and Omaan are just myths."

"Yes, dear." She twitched her tail. "Come to bed now. It's getting light out."

Upon an ancient continent arose stone Giants.

One, a female, in flowing robes, stood beside an ancient sea or enormous lake......she wore a crown upon her head and held a torch, ever searching for someone, possibly others of her race, who had sought brave adventures.

She awaited her people faithfully, yet they perished, and she stood, in her grief, frozen in her loneliness forever.

Everything began in a nook. Then we spread to the rest of the nooks and crannies of the world, very slowly at first, because we were cursed and died young for no known reason. It took many, many years for the curse to wear off; you'd need as many hands to count them as there are thumbs and fingers in everybody's hands together. By the way, some claim people once had only one thumb and four fingers in each hand; isn't that gross? How can you do something as simple as playing the flute like that?

They also say the sun used to race faster across the sky, and the moon used to be bigger; so big, in fact, that it could completely hide the sun in the middle of the day, making the sky as dark as at night.

Legends tell of a mythical animal called the Eeestabunneee.

Though pictured as a mammal, it apparently laid eggs, then silently invaded sleeping families' houses to hide these eggs throughout the domicile.

Our researchers do not yet know what the possibly carnivorous hatchlings did when they crept hungrily from their shells.

The people of the time believed that their religion originated "a long time ago in a galaxy far far away". The orthodox branch of this religion was known as Jedism and it's church was referred to as "The Church of the Force", though heretical branches existed such as the Sith Order and the Guardians of the Whills. They believed in a magic known as the force. Quote from script from the time described it as "an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us; it binds the galaxy together." Their spiritual leaders held the titles of master. Members of the church were called knights and initiates were referred to as padawans.

New research is developing about the mysterious 'Order of the Five Magic-Users'. It is suggested that they were each assigned a colour: white, grey, brown, and two blue.

An ancient holy book refers to the End of All.....
This terrifying event is to be heralded by'The Last Trump'.....
Who was apparently the leader of an insignificant culture on a northern continent on 'Earth', a small planet of an obscure solar system.

Archaeologists have discovered ancient ruins called 'mals', mostly grey in material, in which ancient humans would go to to retrieve offerings of clothing and such-like for the sinister cult known as consumerism.

(Malls aren't that bad! Most of the clothes are really cute! At least I care what I look like~)

Mentions of something called "Yoo-Tube" have been discovered. It is unknown exactly what this is. People who were good at this (cult? Game? ???) include the god Leafy, the god of the reptiles, and many others.

Research continues.