Children dressing in clothes of the opposite gender

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I was inspired to write this little post after seeing something on tumblr (This is that entry: http://best-of-tumblr.tumblr.com/post/1 ... amie-hes-8)

With Halloween coming up, I need to talk about this: Children dressing up in clothes of the opposite gender (for instance, boys dressing up as princesses and girls dressing up as GI Joe).

My say: I have NO problem with it. It's not a gender thing, it's whatever the child is satisfied with him/herself. That old saying "The heart wants what the heart wants" applies. It's NOT my business to judge them for what they wear, nor should I exert my influence on such. It's just part of being a child- having sort of a natural curiosity of what it would be like to be the opposite gender.

Let me tell you a story. In 1995, 20 years ago when I started 3rd grade, I dressed up like a girl for a book report (my class had us dress as characters on the books we were talking about, was why- the book in question was a book from the late Paula Danziger - the Amber Brown series). Bear in mind, it was of my own volition to dress as such, and I enjoyed it. Would I dress as a girl again (now that I'm almost 30)? I would.

When I was in middle school there was this guy that I heard had dressed up as Sailor Moon and since then he got bullied and called that instad of his real name. Basically he got a free ticket for stigmatization til graduation. At the time I didn't really know what to think of this, but now I feel bad for him.

It's kinda sad that people have trouble with not giving a s**t about this.
Do what you want, I hope you won't get beat up for dressing like a girl in public though.

I would not care. The only issue I would have would be how society would react and if people would bully my son. That may sound like a cop-out and that I really do care when I don't; but we do not live in a vacuum.

I happen to have a son who cares nothing for social consequences, so it would not matter to me, if it did not matter to him, and other people would not beat him up or something. For a girl I would worry less, having been a tomboy growing up--I don't think the social consequences would be as bad.

I always let my kids do what they wanted, but I also made sure it was a fully informed decision, meaning that I did let them know what the societal norms were and how people might react / what people might think if they went against them.

That's pretty much how I do everything.

My son wants to be the grandma with a stuffed dog in her butt, carrying a sign "lost dog" with a picture of the stuffed dog on it. I don't care. He is 14. He thinks it is hilarious. He knows people might bully, but his opinion is "then they are stupid if they can't tell it is a joke. I won't care what they say."

Halloween maybe, the rest of the time you have to protect your kid from themselves. What we know as right and wrong doesn't change the nature of children. Clothes just cover your naked body, there are more important things to stick your flag down for.

I wanted to clarify one thing in this post: I am male.

Unless, of course, they are transgender. Or just want to play with gender roles. Or simply are so creative they can't be contained by this moment's rules for "boy" and "girl"...in which case you wouldn't be "protecting them from themselves" you'd be causing varying degrees of harm.

Just pointing out that there are trans people on these forums, and parents of trans children, too.

I don't think it would be right to send a little child to school to get relentlessly bullied, I only speak from my experience in a rough public school system but kids can be ruthless and unforgiving. Verbal and physical abuse, I've seen plenty and knew more than one person who dropped out before taking another day of it. You can punish bullies after the fact and everything else but that won't change the nature of children. Most places don't bus kids all around the city like my city did, most people are stuck going to same school as long as they live in one place so some "free spiritedness" could follow a kid until they graduate, I remember they use to always make fun of this refugee Serbian kid because he apparently pooped his pants all the way back in like elementary school. It's not right, it's not fair, it is what it is tho. Protect your kid, don't try to make a statement thru them. You want school to be as least traumatic as possible, don't paint a bullseye on their back.

We actually had a kid show up to school one day in a skirt and stockings in middle school, I think it was his first day and he was being purposely provocative as he also had long green hair but this caused such a commotion that they had to escort the kid out of the building before the end of the day and I never saw him again. I think somebody might of attacked him in the hall or something I dunno, like I said kids are CRUEL.

It's funny how dressing as a fantasy creature that murders people (vampire, werewolf, etc.) is no big deal, but dressing as the opposite gender somehow blows peoples' minds.

I am so grateful that we're moving towards a society where these things aren't so taboo and kids of all kinds can express themselves in all different ways.

While I think it depends on where you are, I think in the here and now things are improving. Most schools have an anti-bullying policy (yes, some are more successful than others) and I'm finding that my son's friends are open to all different kinds of gender expression and sexual preferences.

This doesn not mean your child is guaranteed not to be bullied if he or she makes an unusual choice...but it also means it's not guaranteed that they will be bullied. We're getting there.

http://ruinedchildhood.tumblr.com/post/131718390874/ - Another post regarding a boy dressing as a girl. I apologize in advance for the F-word being contained in the it was originally posted on.

Let your kids be who they are! I get the fact that they could be bullied, and being autistic might raise that risk even higher. But change starts on the ground. And confidence starts at home. I have ASD twin boys - one's favorite colors are pink and purple, and the other likes wearing flowers in his hair. I also have a gay 25 year old stepson. Kids are going to be who they are genetically programmed to be, and I for one, am not going to be the type of parent who teaches them how to conform before they even know who they really are. F$&k society. Let's raise confident, self-aware kids, then CHANGE society. Rant over.

It's whatever really, I mean it reminds me of cosplay. Fat hairy guys can go around wearing Lolita outfits at connventions. Hell, when I eventually start cosplaying with my sister, I would totally do Bearded-Lady versions of Disney Princesses. I mean how awesome is that!?

http://commongayboy.tumblr.com/post/136 ... r-humanity - Sorry to bring this up, but here is another sweet story about another young boy wanting to dress in girls' makeup. (Apologies in advance if the handle on the tumblr account does offend you in some way, however.)

Again, you know what I say "Live and let live....".

As someone who was bullied for being weird, I have to say it would have been a lot worse if my parents had tried to keep me from standing out. Even if it had worked, I'd rather get acceptance from my parents and hate outside my family, than have my own parents tell me that being myself is wrong.