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Templeton
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18 Oct 2015, 6:59 am

No, I'm not actually asking how your weekend was (but feel free to tell if you want). I'm actually curious about whether aspie people feel awkward answering this as well as the related question, 'What are you doing at the weekend?'. To put this into context, these are questions that work colleagues ask me (although not the single female ones, sadly, as this might mean something different).

I tend to find I'm awkward answering because these people always seem to be doing things, and things which have a significant social aspect.

My weekend activities are predominantly solitary. I'm usually indoors on the web, reading, watching TV or doing chores. I might go to the cinema. (Does anyone else play 'See how many people turn up on their own at the cinema' ?)

I don't like lying but I don't want to seem dull. I usually fudge something.

Is this an issue for anyone else?


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LivingInParentheses
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18 Oct 2015, 7:10 am

I also feel uncomfortable and put on the spot with questions like this.

"How was your weekend?" is the easier one for me. Since I enjoy being alone, I have no problem replying "awesome, how was yours?" because being alone is awesome, and people would rather just talk about themselves anyway.

"What are you doing this weekend?" I generally WANT respond to with "I don't know, what are YOU doing this weekend?" or "oh nothing, what about you?" but I realize that is likely to get me invited to something, which then I will have to find a way to back out of. So instead I generally go with something like "just enjoying some alone-time, this has been a really hectic week. What about you?"


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Ellykeeling
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18 Oct 2015, 7:24 am

I tend to find that 'just having a quiet one' seems generally accepted by most people. Most of the time, people are just making conversation and aren't particularly interested in your answer anyway (well, that's my take on it!), so a nice, short answer works for both parties. Finish it off with a 'how about you?' and you've ticked off the boring small talk with just eight words! Then you can go and enjoy your weekend :D



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18 Oct 2015, 7:28 am

As I work for myself I don't generally go out at weekends - everywhere is crowded and often over-priced because of this. I'd rather work on Saturday and Sunday and have time off during the week. So my response to 'how was your weekend' is usually 'I don't do weekends'.

And I'd rather go to the cinema on my own. That way I get to appreciate the film undisturbed.



Ellykeeling
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18 Oct 2015, 7:33 am

And in response to 'how was your weekend?', 'quiet but good, thanks. How was yours?'. I always turn questions around as quickly as possible as most people seem to like talking about themselves, whereas I don't so it works well, on the whole!



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18 Oct 2015, 7:56 am

I feel uncomfortable/unsure answering that question. I also hate the regular "How are you?". It is my understanding that it doesn't truly seek how you really are, but is a "conversation opener". I usually feel confused because I have a lot of information to condensate to be able to give a proper answer. That's why I always end up saying "Yes".



LivingInParentheses
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18 Oct 2015, 8:05 am

I hate the "Hi, how are you?" thing that I have to navigate with every cashier everywhere I go.

They will say "how are you?" and I'll either say "fine, thanks" but not ask back and then feel rude, or I will say "fine thanks, how are you?" but then in those times they act like I wasn't supposed to and either don't answer and instead will just tell me what I owe them, and I'll stand there thinking the conversation is only half over but they're dismissing me, or else they'll answer with something like "oh, you know, just wishing this shift was done,' and so I'll reply back about a similar thing that I am feeling or have experienced before and then they REALLY act like I'm overstepping boundaries.

Or the new issue I've been having lately which just drives me crazy is when they say "hi, how are you?" and I say "good, how are you?" and the guy at Barnes and Noble says "I'm doing well, Superman does good" and he kind of half-laughs snottily like I'm' some kind of ignorant moron for saying "good" instead of "well".

I won't ever say I'm doing well. If I"m doing fine, that's acceptable, if I"m doing great that's acceptable, but doing good isn't? F#$% off.


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corroonb
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18 Oct 2015, 9:43 am

Unless I've actually done something interesting, I just say "good but quiet". I used to respond with sarcasm but that not pleasant or polite.



Joe90
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18 Oct 2015, 11:29 am

I enjoy my weekends. Every weekend I go to my boyfriend's, and call in to see my friend on the way, and hang out for a bit. Usually my boyfriend is working, but I still love going there. I go around the shops for a bit, then let myself into his apartment and just relax, have a nap, then have a bath. Then when he comes in we cook something nice, or get a takeaway. And if he's off work, we go out and spend a day together.

So my weekends aren't bad at all. People at work know I go to my boyfriend's at weekends, so they just say "you off to your boyfriend's tonight?" on a Friday.


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