Talking or being interrupted when eating

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Earthling
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31 Oct 2015, 4:03 pm

Sometimes I want to talk while eating, sometimes not.

If the food is delicious, for example a fruit cake and hot chocolate, I have trouble holding back from just eating the thing in 2 minutes... some people can have 1 cake and 1 cup of coffee and it will last them over an hour... :roll:
It's like self-torture. No delicious food that I want, much superficial talk that I don't want.
I suppose the main problem is that the people that I have cake with are mostly family members that don't really talk about stuff that interests me, and the fact that I usually haven't eaten in a while.

Sometimes I can talk quite a bit while eating (or rather not eating, heh). My friend at uni used to often be quieter than me so 99% of the time he had finished eating his stuff much faster than me.



EzraS
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31 Oct 2015, 4:28 pm

I need to be left alone when I am eating.



AJisHere
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31 Oct 2015, 4:34 pm

the_phoenix wrote:
Yes, I do tip in both situations ...
I'm just extra generous in better situations.


Good on you, then! :)


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dianthus
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31 Oct 2015, 7:01 pm

I've never understood why people want to talk and have a conversation while they are having a meal. It's trouble enough conversing when I'm not eating, finding the right moment when to say something or when to let someone else talk. Trying to think about everything going on in a conversation is like juggling. Then if I have to think about timing my responses in between taking bites of food, it's like having someone throw a lot more balls at me to juggle. If I'm with someone who doesn't care if I talk with my mouth full, then I can talk, but I'll probably end up sucking food down my windpipe or something. And please, please don't make me laugh while I'm eating.

the_phoenix wrote:
In 99% of restaurants,
whenever you take a great big bite of food
and have your mouth full ...
that's the exact moment when
the waitress comes over and asks
"Is everything okay?"
and then she runs away as fast as she can
before you have a chance to answer.


Exactly, and I think most of them do it on purpose.



Earthling
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31 Oct 2015, 7:07 pm

If I make a "mh-" sound while holding my fork in front of me, wiggling it, I can usually buy 2-3 seconds to swallow the food/have second thoughts.
But I need to say something interesting/relevant then or it's a big disappointment.



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31 Oct 2015, 8:01 pm

It depends.

It's good when there are a larger group then of 4+ people, because then it's not so noticeable when I go silent.

I find it hard to concentrate on enjoying the meal and still keep track of the conversation, especially if I have to contribute to it.

But to be honest, when I'm going to enjoy a culinary experience, I prefer to be able to concentrate on it completely without interruption. It's fine to talk about the meal itself for instance, "I really like this steak" for instance. Short little interjections to break the silence, but long engaging conversations? Not for me! I never understood business dinners like how they're depicted in media. It's an NT thing, that's for sure. So, these politicians, stars or other status persons are to create bonds between each other, and enjoy an expensive meal at the same time? Their heads must spin! Mine would for sure. I would go dizzy with overstimulation.

I don't know how the NTs do it, but they make it happen.

I prefer to eat my meals in silence. conversations over desserts however, are for some reason easier. Probably because I'm not hungry anymore and not consumed with the immense pleasure of eating when hungry. I'm pretty sure that taste is an amplified sensory experience for me, as most sensations are.



seaweed
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31 Oct 2015, 10:48 pm

I like to be "distracted" while I eat, so if I can I'll have the tv on or be reading a book or eating in between doing something else. it's not that I don't get involved with the taste/texture of the food I am eating, I think it's more to do with attempting to disassociate from the idea that the food is fattening or harmful or if its production carries any baggage.



ASPartOfMe
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01 Nov 2015, 4:49 am

It bothers me to be interrupted no matter what the situation.


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01 Nov 2015, 7:15 am

babybird wrote:
My daughter takes aaaaaages eating her food and often needs a toilet break half way through a meal.

I've never questioned her on it but it has always baffled me. hahahaha...I understand now.


Hello BB, I guess if you are a slow eater the food has time to increase pressure on the bladder and stimulate the urge to use the bathroom. Where as if you wolf it down there's not much chance of that happening.

As for the OP, a lot of people see mealtimes as a social time so talking through a meal is normal. When I was a child my father could not tolerate talking at dinner so as a family we had to eat in silence. I can't seem to do two things at once, so I either eat, or talk and then get annoyed when my food is cold and everybody else has finished.



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01 Nov 2015, 8:40 am

^^Hello neilson_wheels. It's nice to see you.


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neilson_wheels
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01 Nov 2015, 9:51 am

You too, BB.



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01 Nov 2015, 10:01 am

I believe mealtime with family members should be as pleasant as possible. These days it's usually the only time the family is all together. So it is a bit annoying if someone asks me something when my mouth is full of food. I usually non-verbally tell them to please wait until I've swallowed before I answer. It's something I learned to do. Just because non-verbal communication doesn't come naturally to aspies doesn't mean we can't learn it. :)

In restaurants, there seems to be an rule for the waiters to come and ask how everything is when your mouth is full. You'd think that being gross by answering right away and spraying food everywhere would teach them not to. :lol:



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01 Nov 2015, 11:53 am

ASPartOfMe wrote:
It bothers me to be interrupted no matter what the situation.


Yes, this.



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02 Nov 2015, 12:37 am

AJisHere wrote:
infilove wrote:
Do you dislike it when your having luch/dinner and enjoying your meal and someone wants to talk to you or make you do something mentally taxing while eating luch/dinner. I.e. people/parents asking you questions, being made to explain something, or having to do something mentally taxting ect... i always hate that. Do you relate?

Are there specific things you don't want to discuss at those times, or is it just the act of having a conversation during a meal?



It's the act of doing so somehing that causes you to not enjoy the meal as much as you could. For example, when people bring up a stressful convorsatation topics. Or when someone wants you to do other things while eating- like when someone asks you to help them do something for them right in the middle of a meal. One time someone wanted me to ask them to help them blow up their air matress during my meal and it made me upset. Another time my dad wanted me to help him trouble shoot our computer while eating. I totally didnt like that either.


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05 Nov 2015, 2:51 pm

I don't mind having a conversation over dinner with family, and sometimes friends or co-workers. But there are times when I just don't want to interact with human beings and I just want to go eat by myself. I normally read or listen to my favorite podcasts during those times, and so I'll often be wearing earbuds when I go out to lunch (as I did today). Even as a kid, I'd read the entire cereal box during breakfast.

It's strange to me that people feel a compelling drive to socialize while eating. Sometimes is OK, but I need my down time away from people, and eating lunch alone is one of those opportunities I seize upon, especially during the work week when my job requires a lot of human interaction. I resent it when they try to pressure me into going as a group on days when I really want to be alone. I hate having to make excuses, but sometimes they just don't understand why I'd prefer to keep to myself.



Kiprobalhato
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05 Nov 2015, 3:10 pm

i eat by myself every time i'm out of the house not eating dinner with the family, or not with only one other person, i eat very peacefully this way. no complaints.

if i have to speak while i eat, i cover my mouth with my left hand.


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