Deaf lesbian couple make sure a child will be born deaf.

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NewTime
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03 Nov 2015, 9:30 pm

http://www.popmatters.com/column/waitin ... f-and-gay/

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In 2002, Sharon Duchesneau and Candace McCullough made headlines. A deaf lesbian couple, the pair went to great lengths to ensure that their second child would also be deaf, selecting a sperm donor with five generations of deafness in his family.


I think such was a pretty cruel thing to do.



kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2015, 3:43 am

I agree.



Sweetleaf
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04 Nov 2015, 3:22 pm

I don't know this makes is way back to the debate of is it ethical to only allow non-disabled people have children and/or be sperm donors. Not to mention should the deaf genes prevail and the child is born deaf...they will never know what it is like to hear, it will be what they are used to.

I mean its not taking away a conscious beings ability to hear, just attempting to influence that they are born deaf via selecting a sperm donor with generations of deafness. I guess I am indifferent to what people do to sperms, embryos or the early fetal stages before it becomes a baby. Not to mention if this was a deaf straight couple planning to have children they'd essentially be doing the same thing, knowingly potentially giving deaf genes to offspring and somehow I don't think people would be too disturbed by that.


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NewTime
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04 Nov 2015, 6:43 pm

If the deaf lesbian couple wanted a deaf child so much they should have adopted one. This was just a cruel thing.



MjrMajorMajor
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04 Nov 2015, 8:14 pm

Deaf culture is very insular. They probably didn't view it as cruel, because hearing people are looked at as outsiders. There is a lot of negativity towards cochlear implants because it's seen as a betrayal, or being something you're not.



lostonearth35
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06 Nov 2015, 12:50 pm

Sometimes I worry if "Aspie culture" is too much like deaf or blind culture, especially when I hear parents going on about their low-functioning autistic children. You'd think deaf and blind people would give anything to be able to see or hear, but I've heard about these "societies" where they refuse to be treated for their disabilities, even if it's possible. I have a hard time understanding since being deaf or blind (especially both) must be a LOT more difficult than being autistic.

One thing I can be sure of, however, is that no autistic parents have deliberately tried to make their kid autistic. Not that anyone really knows how, and if my parents made me be born deaf because they *wanted* me to be I would would hate them and disown them for life. :x



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11 Nov 2015, 6:22 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
Deaf culture is very insular. They probably didn't view it as cruel, because hearing people are looked at as outsiders. There is a lot of negativity towards cochlear implants because it's seen as a betrayal, or being something you're not.


Yes, it seems weird to me. But I don't live in a deaf culture. To them perhaps it's no different than people of a certain ethnicity choosing a sperm donor of the same ethnicity.


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goofygoobers
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11 Nov 2015, 6:34 pm

NewTime wrote:
If the deaf lesbian couple wanted a deaf child so much they should have adopted one. This was just a cruel thing.


I agree. Adopting a deaf child seems more ethical than making sure a child is deaf. It seems as if they cared more about their child being like them than caring for the child's well being.



DevilKisses
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12 Nov 2015, 4:28 am

lostonearth35 wrote:
Sometimes I worry if "Aspie culture" is too much like deaf or blind culture, especially when I hear parents going on about their low-functioning autistic children. You'd think deaf and blind people would give anything to be able to see or hear, but I've heard about these "societies" where they refuse to be treated for their disabilities, even if it's possible. I have a hard time understanding since being deaf or blind (especially both) must be a LOT more difficult than being autistic.

One thing I can be sure of, however, is that no autistic parents have deliberately tried to make their kid autistic. Not that anyone really knows how, and if my parents made me be born deaf because they *wanted* me to be I would would hate them and disown them for life. :x

I think it is like that to be honest. Everyone here seems to oppose a cure. They also treat me like I'm crazy when I doubt my diagnosis. I still like to spend time here because I can say stuff without people think I'm a troll.


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JakJak
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12 Nov 2015, 4:45 am

I see nothing wrong with this. The sperm donor would likely have deaf children, if he decided to reproduce by other means. The child will be taken care of by people who understand what it is to be deaf, as opposed to parents who are taken by surprise, or even worse, not up to the task of raising the child. At what point should we draw the line in who's allowed to reproduce and how?



KateCoco
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12 Nov 2015, 7:56 am

JakJak wrote:
I see nothing wrong with this. The sperm donor would likely have deaf children, if he decided to reproduce by other means. The child will be taken care of by people who understand what it is to be deaf, as opposed to parents who are taken by surprise, or even worse, not up to the task of raising the child. At what point should we draw the line in who's allowed to reproduce and how?


I wouldn't prohibit the sperm donor from having children, and I don't think that anyone is suggesting that in this forum. The deaf couple could have easily selected someone else's sperm. They've gone out of their way to ensure their child is born with a disability. They could have easily had a child that wasn't deaf. I think it is selfish and cruel.



JakJak
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13 Nov 2015, 9:19 am

I agree it's selfish.. not so sure about cruel, though. I'm thinking more along the lines of whether or not it should be legal. Technically, it's just two humans coming together to make a baby. I don't think there should be any laws preventing this from happening. Deaf people should be able to donate sperm.. and lesbian couples should be able to have any type of criteria for the sperm donor that they would like.

I can see where people would not be happy with that decision, or their reasons for doing this. But I think it's okay for them to do.



NewTime
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28 Sep 2017, 6:44 am

JakJak wrote:
I agree it's selfish.. not so sure about cruel, though. I'm thinking more along the lines of whether or not it should be legal. Technically, it's just two humans coming together to make a baby. I don't think there should be any laws preventing this from happening. Deaf people should be able to donate sperm.. and lesbian couples should be able to have any type of criteria for the sperm donor that they would like.

I can see where people would not be happy with that decision, or their reasons for doing this. But I think it's okay for them to do.


If they were just selecting a deaf sperm donor without any intention of the child being born deaf, that would be one thing. Getting sperm from a deaf sperm donor wouldn't necessarily result in a deaf child. They were going out of their way to be sure that their child would be born deaf. That's the cruel thing.



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28 Sep 2017, 9:03 am

I agree. If the couple wanted a child like them, they should have gone the adoption route.



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28 Sep 2017, 12:29 pm

No different than autistic people wanting an autistic child or hoping their kid will be autistic.

Yes that is selfish but also understandable because they figure they will be able to relate to their child and be a better parent to them. But looking around online, I have also heard of bad stories written by people on the spectrum who were also raised by an aspie parent and it didn't go so well either. No different than hearing about being raised by an aspie by NTs. So having a child who has the same condition as you is not guaranteed you will be a better parent to them. You can be deaf and might have a child that is partially deaf or have a child that can have normal hearing with hearing aides and what is thew deaf parent going to do, refuse them a hearing aide? I am sure that child will grow up to resent their parent for refusing them something they could have had, to hear normal. Do some autistic parents out there refuse to have their autistic children learn social skills and language and communication and learn to be flexible and learn to adapt in life and learn people skills?


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29 Sep 2017, 5:59 am

They probably just want to make sure that deaf culture is carried forward for another generation. And they're probably also trying to make a statement; that being impaired doesn't mean you have any less right to enter this world and exist. Or even a statement that deafness isn't an impairment at all, just a difference or characteristic that CAN be accepted or even desired in a 'designer' baby.