They've stopped talking to me

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I recently had a disagreement with my daughter's school in a meeting they called and now, the teachers have stopped talking to me. They'll probably say hello in front of children but otherwise are ignoring me. Normally if I need to email about homework or something, they respond instantly. Now.....nothing.

I was upset and emotional at the meeting, but tried very hard not to say anything that would be unkind beyond the implication that I wasn't satisfied with what they were doing for my child in that I asked for a CSE meeting which they did not want to do.

I don't understand them not talking to me, and it scares me. I've been through it before but since then I worked really hard to learn what was expected and tried to play by their rules, and yet.....they're not talking to me!

My daughter seems happy right now. Do others think it likely they could be supportive to her while not speaking to me? And if things start going better, will they start talking to me again? I don't understand adults behaving this way it seems very bizarre can anyone help me understand?

If the facts are as you state them, it seems to me that the behavior of these teachers is very unprofessional. You as the parent, have the responsibility and the obligation to act in the best interests of your child.These educators are not only responsible for educating your child, they are also responsible for her well being while in their care. You entrust these folks with your child during school, so it is understandable to me that you might be upset with them over this issue. The fact that they may not have liked your emotional outburst does not absolve them of the responsibility they have to communicate and work with you to address your child's needs. I don't think you should have to cater to their "rules" where the welfare of your child is concerned. I would appeal this matter to the superintendent, school board, or whatever higher authority these people have to answer to.

I don't think their avoiding you is appropriate for any length of time, regardless of how they may prefer that you act. I'm sure you are not the first parent that they have had to deal with who gets emotional about their child. Again, professional people whose job it is to deal with the public and are employed by the same, do not have the freedom to cherry pick who they like and give them preferential treatment, nor should they single out and intentionally avoid those they do not like. Anyone who draws a salary from public funding, especially when they deal with members of the public directly, must be PC in their conduct. Their disdain for your conduct does not give them permission to act in a negative manner. Period. These people are simply refusing to perform the duties of their jobs by not communicating with you, which they have the obligation to do regardless of their personal feelings about you. However, you should, to the best of your abilities try to be professional in your conduct as well toward them as a Courtesy.

You are right about being polite to them, I just hope they move past this soon. I am very unsettled and worried because they were hesitant about me in the past, then at times warmer, then cooler, depending how my child is doing.

It is frightening everything seems fine with school when things are going well, and then, there is a problem, suddenly I am a pariah. I don't understand the sudden radical changes.

I am thinking this time was because I did not agree and became emotional, or implicitly criticized the teachers by asking that they fix the problem in school that has been happening.....but there have been times in the past that I had a pleasant exchange, did not see or talk to anyone for awhile, and then I'd talk to someone about some little thing that wasn't a complaint (like asking where picture money goes) and get a cold shoulder reaction......

I can't figure this out and don't know what to expect.

A guess and only a guess: Perhaps b/c of the issues they are aware that you are probably documenting what they say. (Which you ought to be doing) Perhaps they are afraid of saying something which will get the school in legal trouble?

In any event, whether it is a legal issue, or a silent treatment, I would send a follow-up email the next day and preface it by saying you wonder if your last email got lost in their spam filter or the "either" (A way to appear to blame no one) and then politely restate your question. Something like:

Dear Teacher Name,

The email I sent yesterday at must have gotten eaten by your school spam filter as I have not yet received a response. I was concerned about xxxxx, so I sent you an email saying y.

Thank you in advance for your reply,

Waterfalls

If you still get no response, I would type out something similar but cc people up the chain of the command --principal, admins et al and then mention that you are CCing additional people in the hopes that one of them has a more lenient spam setting and will forward the teacher the information.

I am trying your suggestion and explained I want an answer to ___.

I hope being specific and concrete helps!

I agree with the last poster. If, however their spam filter is blocking you, they will not see the email regardless. CC'ing up the chain is a good idea. If you get a response, don't forget to print it out, as it is the same as a written statement. If all else fails, you might try to communicate via USPS. With this option, you will not have to converse face to face- provided the email thing does not work. Try using Certified Mail with signature return.

Did you send them a letter asking for a thorough assessment in all areas of suspected disability ?

1. Any email you write is probably being forward to the AT LEAST the administration, and I am sure is in your kid's folder.

2. My kid teacher rarely responds to email questions about homework. Figure at least a 24 hour turn around time. Especially if said homework is documented in an child's assignment book or a weekly homework guide. I've had teacher flat out say they do not respond to homework questions other than my kid has been sick, what did she miss.

I would also cc the principal on any emails.

3. They figure you are lawyering up, so expect professional, non chatty, non buddy treatment.

I have met many teachers who were wonderful to children of parents who the teacher could not stand, and wouldn't piss on the parent if he/she was on fire.

They are playing hard ball professional. Don't expect them to be anymore than what is flat out written out to do

Glad your daughter is happier.

ETA: I forgot my district did block emails to teachers about 7 years ago (but stop that two years ago) and you could not (to this day) email the principal.

Also, when there is parent/school conflict, some teacher's email must be looked over by administration before it is sent out. My friend had that restriction on a non medication compliant bipolar parent. She could not send anything via email without her administration looking over it.

This is so strange.

My daughter is still happy but it's not even been a week and already the special Ed teacher ignored her during pullout again today.

My daughter said she is a little disappointed, but not surprised. Once upon a time I would have thought she was exaggerating. Now, though, all I see is my daughter is trying, and she is not a priority. The other children are. She is handling ok emotionally.....I am not. So disappointing!!

Regardless of your intent, if you became upset and emotional at a meeting you may have strayed into unacceptable discourse and behaviour. It can be very frightening and upsetting for people to be on the other end of that. I have been on the other end of that many times and the people who did it (my husband and his mother) don't seem to have any understanding of how upset I have been because I didn't raise my voice or escalate the situation. But believe me, my heart was pounding and I was upset for days afterward. This made me want to go no-contact. Which in some cases, I have managed.

It is not unprofessional to cease or limit contact with someone who has behaved unreasonably. In fact, employers have a responsibility to ensure that their staff are not abused by customers or public service users. I do not know if this is case for you. It is however, unprofessional for them not to inform you that they have gone limited or no-contact. They may however be running this past lawyers first before they inform you. I can understand how distressing this will be in the interim.

Have you apologised for getting upset or emotional in the meeting and for any upset this might have caused? That might help.