Nurses with Aspergers, how do you cope?

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Aww, i'm so sorry.

I do know this--as an aspie, i am in a position to help people that NT providers have a harder time understanding. Case in point: i volunteer w/ local emergency medical services and recently dealt with a difficult head injured patient who was giving us a bit of a hard time. (His anxiety pattern and manner screamed "aspie" btw, as well.) He was very confused and agitated, but, knowing what would help me if i were in his shoes, I was able to get through to him enough to get him to calm down enough to cooperate with what we needed to do-- reassuring him that we were taking good care of him, going to get him help, etc.

Another of our volunteers--who means well, and is very competent in skills-- but doesn't deal well with anxious patients--was also helping to get our pt into the ambulance, get vitals, etc. Pt was truly frightened, and started "flipping out" again (for lack of better term) and said, "But you don't understand!! I'm an atheist! I don't wanna die, I'm afraid!!" (No matter what your religious views, this was not the time to go into atheism vs. religion.) As our pt was getting more agitated, instead of being reassuring, my co-volunteer dryly interjected in undisguised irritation, "Well, G___, you're not going to die tonight, so you can just calm down already." Needless to say, this did not do anything helpful.

As i said, this volunteer is totally competent and i would trust him to care for me or anyone i love, skill-wise. But not good with aspies and other anxious people. He is not your aspie whisperer or go-to person for any other kind of mental health emergency. (We did get pt transported and he did not die that night--actually saw him today and he is fully recovered.)

All this to say that i think the health care profession needs aspies too. Only you are in a position to know if you can handle the stress. My volunteering goes with how much i am able to handle. Sometimes i go months without taking a call; sometimes i take several in a week.

That is also why i think home health or private duty would possibly be better for you than on a floor or shift where you have a lot of politics and the popularity contest results are part of your performance report.

What about hospice? Aspies tend to be very compassionate and calm in the face of crisis.

I can see both sides--why you would want to quit, but I also see why someone with your qualities and talents is a good asset to the nursing profession if you can find a position that is more suited to you.

My wife is an LPN. She used to be a CNA.

I believe the key to not getting fired, really, is keeping a written trail of all that you do, so people will not try to screw you. And when somebody needs assistance, provide that.

If you do these things, all you have to be is moderately social, not a social butterfly. Social butterflies tend to screw around--that's why they're social butterflies.

Dot your eyes and cross your tees

It's true...it's essential to be "social." But you could also gain respect for just doing a good job.

I can deal in high stress situations very well. I'm the proverbial calm in the middle of the storm. But in minor stress? I get very flustered very easily. I don't multi task that well. (Waitressing was a nightmare).

That being said, I wouldn't make it in an emergency room or probably even on day shift. Night shift has it's own challenges (Sending patients out, patients coming in-why the you-know-what at 3 am?, mostly sleeping residents, and the ones who are awake aren't sundowning or generally causing trouble. Plus, the ones who ARE awake are pleasant conversation). I'm a night owl though.

The politics and stuff is what made me nuts. Like we had this BSN who thought she was hot sh**. She liked to stump the LPN's, and get them to do her job. Had a patient fall out of his wheelchair (even with a seatbelt), and so he had some abdominal tenderness. She asked me if I assessed him for Blumberg's. I looked at her and told her that he had no rebound tenderness, but that his discomfort seemed related to his fall, and that I was not supposed to be doing formal assessments on patients, so I had been told. I asked her if she would please assess him to confirm my findings, which she did.
The next month, another resident fell/was dropped/who knows. Ended up with a broken hip. The old bat tried to pin it on me even though it turned out that the resident was dropped on a night that I wasn't there (although that aide lied about it).
I can't say I was sad about being fired there for being "not a good fit". Good riddance. It's pretty bad when your residents are telling you that you are too good for the place you are working at.

I'm working on getting a home care position, and using that as experience.

As far as documentation, I didn't have a problem. Except for the inadequacies of that facility.

This is my 2nd job this year. I experience at least one bully everywhere I go. I'm not good at getting people to leave me alone once they target me. I do say stuff back but I guess I'm not consistent enough. It takes me a while to even realize someone is trying to bully me. By the time I realize it, the bullying is bad. Also, I don't always have quick comebacks. I think all of this makes me an easy target. I had my last job for eight months and already had one nurse bothering me. I said stuff back but she still continued bothering me. I just couldn't get her to stop. I suck. Telling the manager doesn't work either. I've been there, done that at the first job I quit a few years ago.

I try to laugh and appear friendly at each new job but always end up being disrespected. I really hate putting a lot of effort into building relationships with coworkers just to find that they are still saying awful stuff about me behind my back. It feels like a big slap in the face. I mean, why bother trying? Socializing is unenjoyable and hard enough for me. Co workers have yelled at me, called me stupid, told me I suck---co workers whom I've tried my best to appear friendly to. I'm such an idiot that I often don't say anything back at the time because I don't think of any comebacks until after the incident when it's too late. It takes me a while for social cues to register. Certain people pick up on this and bully me. I'm a socially awkward turtle.

I'm frustrated with myself and am dreading starting over again. Also, I've always worked in a hospital. This new job is at a nursing home so I'm also nervous about this.

Yup, nursing is a very social career. For example, I had orientation on the unit today. I worked with an older nurse who didn't appear to have strong skills. She couldn't get one of her patients to take her meds and refused to call a doctor about a positive urine culture result. This nurse said she didn't want to call the doctor because she didn't know what to say. The meds thing wasn't very bad to me because some patients just won't take meds, but the refusing to call the doctor about a positive culture result was bad. The patient with the positive culture had a uti and needed antibiotics. The doctor really needed to know. I called the doctor for this nurse and got orders for antibiotics for her patient. I also gave her patient the meds. This nurse didn't chart much because she thought it was too frustrating.

This nurse spent most of the shift talking and joking with everyone. Even though I'm the more conscientious and thorough nurse, this nurse is more likely to be liked by peers and do well on this job. She has the social skills. I'm telling you, this nurse did almost nothing but joke the entire shift. She refused to do stuff like call doctors. She's not a new nurse either but her social skills have taken her far.

So sorry to hear about your awful experience .

kraftiekorite, thank you for the advice. Thank you all for the replies.

This situation (with the older nurse) is what makes me crazy. Why should someone who is inept be retained when someone who is skilled but not as social is let go!?

Hopefully this works out well for you. I would love to hear updates on how things go for you.

I agree with this...one thing i realized about aspie life is that you shouldn't mind what everyone thinks about you all the time as long as you do your job real good

Dreamsea: How are you doing?

Brittnie, everything is fine. The job is okay and I love my schedule. I alternate working 3 days one week and 2 days the next---5 days a pay period. I work evenings which is much much better than nights. I have way more patients than I did in the hospital. The first week was overwhelming but I managed. Working part time really helps. It gives me time to recover. This is something I can do and stick with. Thank you for asking.

I hate this job, too. Epic fail. I've failed at this one, too.

I wish I could go on disability.

what makes you so unhappy?

More social issues. This is wearing me out. I do poorly everywhere I go. I belong on disability. I'm exhausted .

try not to let the turkeys get you down.