A Woman is Giving Me Mixed Signals, Yay! HELP, PLEASE!

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

SilverStar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,058
Location: Ohio, USA

18 Nov 2015, 6:17 pm

nurseangela wrote:
She's cancelled more than twice. I think she likes talking to you, but doesn't want to take it past that and is not forward enough to tell you the truth. Facebook is safe and she can keep talking to you without commitment. I think that she didn't think it would go this far and now she doesn't know how to get out of it.

I'd quit asking cause it's going to make you look desparate.


I would say that she likes talking to him as well (it doesn't mean she's romantically interested, though), because she probably wouldn't have gave him her FB, if she didn't.

If someone was 100% totally interested in him, they would have either rescheduled their exams, if it was possible, wanted him to comfort them when they had a bad week, or at least tried to fit him in to spend time with him. This tells you that her interest level is questionable, and that her priorities are elsewhere.



Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

18 Nov 2015, 6:33 pm

Good point. For now, it seems likely that her priority is getting into a good university (by the way, it is not possible to reschedule exams for federal universities in Brazil. She does have a good reason not to go out with me this week, even though I think we could go out on Friday and she could rest Saturday in preparation for the exam on Sunday, but whatever: not everyone is as reckless about studying as I am), but I will know for sure next Monday. In the meantime, I will keep in touch with her just to see if she is still interested in talking to me. Unfortunately, I am starting to run out of subjects to talk about.


_________________
DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that, while I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome, I am not diagnosed. Nevertheless, my score on RAADS-R is 186, which makes me a pretty RAAD guy.

Sorry for this terrible joke, by the way.


nurseangela
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,017
Location: Kansas

18 Nov 2015, 6:51 pm

SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
She's cancelled more than twice. I think she likes talking to you, but doesn't want to take it past that and is not forward enough to tell you the truth. Facebook is safe and she can keep talking to you without commitment. I think that she didn't think it would go this far and now she doesn't know how to get out of it.

I'd quit asking cause it's going to make you look desparate.


I would say that she likes talking to him as well (it doesn't mean she's romantically interested, though), because she probably wouldn't have gave him her FB, if she didn't.

If someone was 100% totally interested in him, they would have either rescheduled their exams, if it was possible, wanted him to comfort them when they had a bad week, or at least tried to fit him in to spend time with him. This tells you that her interest level is questionable, and that her priorities are elsewhere.


You've got this NT thing down pretty good., Mr. S. You've been doing your homework. :mrgreen:


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


SilverStar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,058
Location: Ohio, USA

18 Nov 2015, 8:03 pm

nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
She's cancelled more than twice. I think she likes talking to you, but doesn't want to take it past that and is not forward enough to tell you the truth. Facebook is safe and she can keep talking to you without commitment. I think that she didn't think it would go this far and now she doesn't know how to get out of it.

I'd quit asking cause it's going to make you look desparate.


I would say that she likes talking to him as well (it doesn't mean she's romantically interested, though), because she probably wouldn't have gave him her FB, if she didn't.

If someone was 100% totally interested in him, they would have either rescheduled their exams, if it was possible, wanted him to comfort them when they had a bad week, or at least tried to fit him in to spend time with him. This tells you that her interest level is questionable, and that her priorities are elsewhere.


You've got this NT thing down pretty good., Mr. S. You've been doing your homework. :mrgreen:


That's if she's NT. If she's an Aspie, then all that probably goes out the window. :lol:



Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

22 Nov 2015, 3:47 pm

We keep talking about a lot of things and, when we got back to the subject of hiking (she really seems to enjoy it as much as I do), she said she wants to go on a camping trip with me as soon as these exam weeks are over (yes, plural, unfortunately). I know I should not, but I am feeling very optimistic about this.

But yeah, I have done my research beforehand this time and I know that she is going to have another exam next week. As far as I know, it will be her last until January, which means I will have the entire month of December to try again. The only problem is to find something to talk about until them: I still do not know how I am managing to find things to talk about so far.

I am not sure if I should act dumb and ask her out next week as a pretext to ask her if she is still interested in going out with me or if I should just leave her alone this week and talk about something else.


_________________
DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that, while I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome, I am not diagnosed. Nevertheless, my score on RAADS-R is 186, which makes me a pretty RAAD guy.

Sorry for this terrible joke, by the way.


SilverStar
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,058
Location: Ohio, USA

22 Nov 2015, 11:20 pm

Magnus_Rex wrote:
We keep talking about a lot of things and, when we got back to the subject of hiking (she really seems to enjoy it as much as I do), she said she wants to go on a camping trip with me as soon as these exam weeks are over (yes, plural, unfortunately). I know I should not, but I am feeling very optimistic about this.

But yeah, I have done my research beforehand this time and I know that she is going to have another exam next week. As far as I know, it will be her last until January, which means I will have the entire month of December to try again. The only problem is to find something to talk about until them: I still do not know how I am managing to find things to talk about so far.

I am not sure if I should act dumb and ask her out next week as a pretext to ask her if she is still interested in going out with me or if I should just leave her alone this week and talk about something else.



I would just wait untill her exams and everything are over to ask her out again. If she makes excuses then, I would just forget about her.



Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

26 Nov 2015, 5:47 pm

In a surprisingly subtle way (for my standards), I managed to direct our conversation into the next exams she will have. She told me she is going to have one theis weekend and the last one in January (I already knew that, but I wanted to hear it from her). She also said she would have to prepare herself throughout December.

In reply to that, I asked her if that meant we would only go to the movie theater next year. I jokingly said that this delay offered the advantage of allowing us to wait for some better movies to come out, because honestly, there are only sh***y movies out for now. Anyway, I also asked her if she was still interested in going out with me. Yes, I am blunt like that. I have no patience for mind games and I made it clear in my online dating profile.

Her reply was: "No, I think we could go out in December 12 or 13. :D " And a comment about how we will probably have to watch boring movies anyway, because that is all there is to watch in December.

Conclusion: she finally set a date and she does not mind if we watch something boring. Correct me if I am mistaken, but I think there is an actual girl who is into me. Somehow. I have been smiling like an idiot since a few hours ago, when I read her message. :lol:


_________________
DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that, while I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome, I am not diagnosed. Nevertheless, my score on RAADS-R is 186, which makes me a pretty RAAD guy.

Sorry for this terrible joke, by the way.


Pineapplejuicex
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 19 Nov 2015
Age: 40
Posts: 72

26 Nov 2015, 6:15 pm

Magnus_Rex wrote:
In a surprisingly subtle way (for my standards), I managed to direct our conversation into the next exams she will have. She told me she is going to have one theis weekend and the last one in January (I already knew that, but I wanted to hear it from her). She also said she would have to prepare herself throughout December.

In reply to that, I asked her if that meant we would only go to the movie theater next year. I jokingly said that this delay offered the advantage of allowing us to wait for some better movies to come out, because honestly, there are only sh***y movies out for now. Anyway, I also asked her if she was still interested in going out with me. Yes, I am blunt like that. I have no patience for mind games and I made it clear in my online dating profile.

Her reply was: "No, I think we could go out in December 12 or 13. :D " And a comment about how we will probably have to watch boring movies anyway, because that is all there is to watch in December.

Conclusion: she finally set a date and she does not mind if we watch something boring. Correct me if I am mistaken, but I think there is an actual girl who is into me. Somehow. I have been smiling like an idiot since a few hours ago, when I read her message. :lol:


Yay. Hope she doesn't reschedule this one too.



Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

26 Nov 2015, 7:21 pm

I hope so, too. I gave her an opportunity to come clean and tell me she is not interested. She acts interested and keeps talking to me. Here is hoping she does not have a really weird fetish about misleading socially ret*d men like me. :lol:


_________________
DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that, while I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome, I am not diagnosed. Nevertheless, my score on RAADS-R is 186, which makes me a pretty RAAD guy.

Sorry for this terrible joke, by the way.


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Nov 2015, 2:05 am

When you have to ask and second guess = she is not interested.

Because real interest would be displayed way more obvious than this.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

27 Nov 2015, 2:07 am

Quote:
Conclusion: she finally set a date and she does not mind if we watch something boring. Correct me if I am mistaken, but I think there is an actual girl who is into me. Somehow. I have been smiling like an idiot since a few hours ago, when I read her message.


Hmm..yes... that's a good sign.

If she reschedules once more then just ghost her.



Magnus_Rex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Oct 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,704
Location: Home

12 Dec 2015, 8:28 pm

Just to let you guys know, I have just arrived at home from my first date with the girl. In a fantastic turn of events that should never have surprised me, it did not feel like anything other than a meeting organized by people who only know it each other online. In other words, it was entertaining, I guess: the film was decent and we bought some ice creams and talked a bit afterwards. But the only physical contact was when we greeted and when we said goodbye to each other: a very normal kiss on the cheek combined with a hug. She is even more shy than I am, which means I had to do most of the talking (although that was something I had noticed from our online conversations, too: it is not a big deal). There was not, from any of us, any attempts to kiss or even touch each other. I have read everything I could and I asked my friends about what to do in a first date, but in the end I did not follow a single piece of advice I got. I even forgot the very basic compliment on her appearance when we first met. :lol:

In short, if there can be something between us, it will happen only after a few more dates. We are both too awkward to take the initiative (I have reasons to believe she never had a boyfriend). Fortunately, she is interested in hiking with me next week, although there will be a few friends of mine with us. Maybe this will lead to other dates and a relationship, I am not sure. And, strangely enough, I am not bothered by it (at least not for now).


_________________
DISCLAIMER: It should be noted that, while I strongly suspect I have Asperger's syndrome, I am not diagnosed. Nevertheless, my score on RAADS-R is 186, which makes me a pretty RAAD guy.

Sorry for this terrible joke, by the way.