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Trewtrew
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Joined: 21 Nov 2015
Age: 34
Posts: 5

21 Nov 2015, 11:03 pm

Hi. Long time lurker, first time poster here.

Has anyone experienced this or can shed any light on whats happening with me?

So I had a bad experience some years back. I removed myself from the environment. Life went on pretty normal, no phobias.

Then more recently I developed almost something like a phobia of particurlar inanimate objects which reminded me of that time. Just the thought or sound of it made me sick let alone the sight of it. I would be fine, see it or hear it, and then all hell broke loose. I had weeks of uncontrollable crying, feeling angry and frustrated, paranoid, suspicious, suicidal, anxious, depressed, hatred, fury, shame, guilt, etc. I would literally just sit and cry for hours. Death felt easier.

And then bam all of a sudden, im fine again. The phobia just disappeared. Objects that used to freak me no longer do. It upsets me, but nowhere as horrible as before. Im not happy and im not sad, still slightly angry at times but controllable. Im not as "normal" as I used to be but I feel better. Memory is patchy, some are clear, others are foggy, and then there are gaps.

Im not diagnosed with any condition, not on any meds, no major life stressors. There is bipolar in the family.

Im losing my mind, help please? 8O



bunnybun
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Joined: 20 Nov 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 14
Location: UK

22 Nov 2015, 11:58 am

Hi,
I don't have exactly the same experience but I do have, not what I would call phonies, but more like triggers, that cause me to feel how I was feeling at a given time that I associate with that thing. Can be inanimate objects, music, people, turns of phrase... My ex-psychologist reckons it's due to having an unusually good memory (not quite eidetic, to me that sounds like it must be horrible) and poor ability to process emotions.

Unfortunately for me, I've never known it to go away, at least not permanently. I do go through periods where I feel less traumatised by my past, but so far it has always come back.

For what it's worth, I don't think the sudden absence of a phobia constitutes losing your mind. Maybe you're on the road to coming to terms with your bad experience?



Trewtrew
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Joined: 21 Nov 2015
Age: 34
Posts: 5

23 Nov 2015, 5:25 am

Thanks bunnybun :D

I will never come to terms with it. A big chunk of me died back then and im never getting it back. Ive accepted that fact recently i guess, so maybe thats why i feel better or its a clearing of a depressive ep maybe, or entering a high. It feels like an imposter squeezed all the negativity out at once. Now im just tired. SO TIRED that I dont give a crap anymore 8O



smudge
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Joined: 6 Sep 2006
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,716
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23 Nov 2015, 7:59 am

You mentioned that you were bipolar, which quite possibly has a lot to do with it. I'm no expert, but I *think* moods can fluctuate with many months inbetween each change. So you may possibly feel like you did again in future.

Personally, my long periods of depression are triggered by a bad event. It lasts for weeks or months and takes over, making my OCD and general mood worse. Sometimes I forget what is causing my depression, then I remember that event and it makes total sense. It's definitely causation rather than correlation in my case.


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Trewtrew
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Joined: 21 Nov 2015
Age: 34
Posts: 5

24 Nov 2015, 4:10 am

Thanks smudge :D thats probably it, I totally snowballed 8O