Would you stop seeing a friend because of their world view?

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Nebogipfel
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27 Nov 2015, 2:53 pm

I have a friend who for years has been reading a lot of books on magick, by authors such as Aleister Crowley, Anthony Robins, and Neil Strauss. Now I feel that everything they say to me is in aid of some dark manipulation, and our friendship has become a zero sum game. I think I no longer want to see this person.

Do you think it's advisable to drop a friend for such reasons? Or, is there a better solution?



Last edited by Nebogipfel on 27 Nov 2015, 3:31 pm, edited 7 times in total.

Earthling
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27 Nov 2015, 2:55 pm

The answer should be obvious if you're not enjoying it anymore.



kraftiekortie
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27 Nov 2015, 3:30 pm

In most cases: no.

If a friend, all of a sudden, became a Neo-Nazi (as an example), I would seriously consider not contacting that person again.



0_equals_true
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27 Nov 2015, 4:16 pm

The idea that you can't be friends with people who share different views is what causes political polarisation and tribalism.

However draw the line where you are made to go along with views, or made to feel guilty. Agree to disagree.



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28 Nov 2015, 6:09 am

I think it comes down to whether or not they have respect for you and your beliefs, even if different from their own.
Example I am strongly supportive of LGBT rights, and I did for a long time have a friend who was a homophobic Christian. I was willing to be friends with her and appreciate her many other fine qualities and interests and the good times we could have together. I stopped being friends with her however when she would constantly bring up bigoted, homophobic subjects with me not to discuss the differences in our views and perhaps gain alternative insight (which I enjoy and would have welcomed) but instead, just to argue with me and tell me I was wrong. She wouldn't leave it alone, even when she knew what she was saying was offensive to me. She would say things like "if one of my children was gay I would force them to try being straight first or I would disown them." At the time, I had directly known a teenage boy who had killed himself for that very reason.
It was the nastiness and lack of respect and compassion that made me cut ties with her, not the fact that she had different views to my own.


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smudge
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28 Nov 2015, 9:50 am

I had a best friend at college who was there for me, used to cuddle me, and didn't judge me at all when I had a massive meltdown there. He used to cheer me up and was straightforward with me. We were close. He was very handsome too. He had a great smile.

Years down the line, he developed this angry impatience. He hinted to me that I was "really, really stupid" and had read books on men and women. He developed the view that men were the dominant ones, that was the way it was. It sounded worse than what I've said, but I can't remember exactly what he said. He sounded quite misogynist and his anger kinda scared me.

It was a shame, because he was into the kind of things I'm into. But, I was really put off him, so I had to ignore him. I rarely ignore people, but if they scare me that's what I do. :(


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lunarious87
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28 Nov 2015, 10:42 am

There is a quote in the Quran, which says, "elevating and sinking". Because as of today, in the later times, most will be unjust. And living up (in heaven). And heaven is no place for evil ones. Like some people here. While those whom are down, whom are just are in hell. And they have no means of being evil. Therefore God says to the ANgels that adam will inherit the earth (a prophet who did many evil things). The Angels says, why, we praise you and glorify you? He says I know what you dont know. Which is this. All the ANGELS has to follow ADAM whom is a murderer.

And another verse says that Allah took away their fire (like he quelled my fire, as ALLAHS slave) and left them in utter darkness. But I said I am Anti Christ (whom comes first) and NOONE is willing to say that he is anti Christ but me. And he is just as evil as me, that guy, except I AM SAYING IT. Like your friend is saying it. Believers will aid him, becaues ALL will follow Anti Christ when he comes out.

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andrethemoogle
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28 Nov 2015, 10:45 am

Yes, if they were indoctrinated to the point of no return from religion (mostly Islam and Jehovah's Witness) and cults (Scientology, Mormonism)

As well for being homophobic and racist.



lunarious87
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28 Nov 2015, 11:03 am

andrethemoogle wrote:
Yes, if they were indoctrinated to the point of no return from religion (mostly Islam and Jehovah's Witness) and cults (Scientology, Mormonism)

As well for being homophobic and racist.

He asked two questions. You just said "Yes". But yes what? Just because he is racist and homophobic you can judge him? I am sure he has more vocublary and intelligence and wisdom and eveything like logic to prove you are wrong. What can you do? Come with vague quasi commands so you group against him? I am afraid the opener is not stupid to beive you. ALthough fools might belive you.



techstepgenr8tion
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28 Nov 2015, 6:12 pm

Heh, I'd worry more about the Anthony Robbins and Neil Strauss than the Aleister Crowley.

You know your friend however better than we do. If your friend is highly impressionable and seems generally adolescent enough that they'd be grabbing at the level of information provided by such self-help gurus for the purpose of 'gaining friends and influencing people' then yes - you might be dealing with someone who may be a bit too much of a loose cannon (at this point in their life) to be around.

On the other hand if they've generally been pretty altruistic you probably wouldn't have written the OP but in that case. There's nothing inherent in Crowley, Robins, or Strauss that's an automatic enough on or off switch in terms of someone reading them particularly meaning one thing or another. Neil Strauss is someone that guys would want to read who can't pick up girls - whether they'd use the information he gave to either better direct honest endeavors rather than one night stands is up to them. Anthony Robbins is a famous motivational coach - whether they simply want to do better at work within their moral framework or whether they want to craft a false identity and climb the human ladder stepping on heads the whole way - that's more them than Anthony. Similarly with Crowley - he's an early 20th century mystic, ceremonial magician, and qabalist well known for insulting what he felt were artificial and unhelpful taboos all the while trying to peel away any artificial dressing on what processes lead people to the John of the Cross or Theresa of Avila types of internal experiences; it's one thing for a person to try and break their own conditioning for greater inner freedom and mental health and seek guidance on that, another for a person to confuse 'do what thou wilt' with 'do what Thou Wilt' (the later meaning, in lieu of a 'higher self', do what your best self would do) and use it as a means to completely abandon integrity and/or moral accountability.

If your friend is immature try to be a good influence and in the case where you know that you aren't going to be able to have any positive or tempering effect on their misguided explorations then yes - probably best to avoid them till they figure out a bit more about life.


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28 Nov 2015, 6:26 pm

I think it depends on what their views are. I have stopped talking to people online because I didn't like their attitude and how they felt about others around them and how they acted about it. In real life I have never had a friend who had a view I didn't like.

I would say people like my ex would be the ones I would stop talking to. He had lot of views I didn't like and there was no way I would want my kid exposed to those views and be narrow minded as him and bigoted and so judgmental and I also wouldn't want my kid to be a homophobic and have pro life pushed in their faces instead of them deciding what they want if they get pregnant and he was a cold hearted guy so not something I want for my child or as a friend. I also wouldn't want them to make decisions on based on what it would make them because their dad told them they would have to do it or else it makes them a coward or that they have to do that now or else it means they are lazy or have poor self help skills or be even too afraid to ask for help or else it means they are dumb bla bla bla. I realize now it would have been verbal abuse so it gives me an idea what kind of guy he was as a parent to his ex's kids and why she perhaps left him. So yeah those people I would want to avoid.


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