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Summer_Twilight
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28 Nov 2015, 4:16 pm

I have been close friends with someone for two years now who I hit it off with from day 1. For the first year and a half it seemed to be a really strong friendship where we did lots of things together one on one. We went out to eat and met up for other things.

This past April everything changed one evening when he wanted to snuggle with me and I agreed. It was going well when he was abrupt. "Well you better get to bed. I am going and this time I will not text you when I get home."He stopped texting me as frequently.

In May I stayed with him and two other friends of his who are video game nuts like he is for a convention in town. He stuck together with them all weekend and either showed a lack of interest in talking to me or showed no respect. He and his friends also talked down to me because I am not a video game person. I moved to a different hotel room with another friend and didn't talk to him during the summer months. He neither apologized or asked why I left.

I most recently re-connected on a few occasions and even though he talks to me he still distances himself and once again does not call me as much.



SilverStar
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30 Nov 2015, 1:25 am

So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



Summer_Twilight
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30 Nov 2015, 6:12 am

SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.



SilverStar
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30 Nov 2015, 5:48 pm

Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.



nurseangela
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30 Nov 2015, 6:27 pm

SilverStar wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.


Are you an NT in wolf's clothing? You sure do know a lot about this NT stuff.
(Did you get the funny ha ha? Instead of "a wolf in sheeps clothing" and you got that wolf avatar thingy going on)


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


SilverStar
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01 Dec 2015, 2:47 am

nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.


Are you an NT in wolf's clothing? You sure do know a lot about this NT stuff.
(Did you get the funny ha ha? Instead of "a wolf in sheeps clothing" and you got that wolf avatar thingy going on)


I just know things Angie...no need to make those tounge-in-cheek NT comments. ;)



Summer_Twilight
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01 Dec 2015, 10:15 am

I made it clear to him from the beginning that I don't have those feelings towards him. I should not have agreed to snuggle with him and that is where things got awkward. I love hanging out on a friendship or platonic level because he's known to be genuine.

Anyway the reason why I am here is because with both discussed to catch up last Friday and he never followed through. I texted him to ask why and he got back with me and said he forgot when I face-timed him. We were having a nice conversation when he cut me off after a few minutes.

"To give you a head's up I am not feeling well and we will talk another time."

That is what I mean about him giving me mixed signals.



nurseangela
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01 Dec 2015, 4:37 pm

SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.


Are you an NT in wolf's clothing? You sure do know a lot about this NT stuff.
(Did you get the funny ha ha? Instead of "a wolf in sheeps clothing" and you got that wolf avatar thingy going on)


I just know things Angie...no need to make those tounge-in-cheek NT comments. ;)


I know I keep saying it, but I just can't help myself, Mr. S. You and I think so much alike (it's weird 8O ) and I know I'm not Aspie.


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.


Summer_Twilight
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02 Dec 2015, 1:24 pm

nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.


Are you an NT in wolf's clothing? You sure do know a lot about this NT stuff.
(Did you get the funny ha ha? Instead of "a wolf in sheeps clothing" and you got that wolf avatar thingy going on)


I just know things Angie...no need to make those tounge-in-cheek NT comments. ;)


I know I keep saying it, but I just can't help myself, Mr. S. You and I think so much alike (it's weird 8O ) and I know I'm not Aspie.



Kiprobalhato
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04 Dec 2015, 1:05 am

why did you agree to snuggle?

i'm thinking he begun to realize he might not want to be around someone who doesn't share his feelings.


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SilverStar
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05 Dec 2015, 5:02 pm

Kiprobalhato wrote:
why did you agree to snuggle?

i'm thinking he begun to realize he might not want to be around someone who doesn't share his feelings.


It sounds like she could have gave him mixed signals, even though she told him otherwise.



SilverStar
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05 Dec 2015, 5:06 pm

nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.


Are you an NT in wolf's clothing? You sure do know a lot about this NT stuff.
(Did you get the funny ha ha? Instead of "a wolf in sheeps clothing" and you got that wolf avatar thingy going on)


I just know things Angie...no need to make those tounge-in-cheek NT comments. ;)


I know I keep saying it, but I just can't help myself, Mr. S. You and I think so much alike (it's weird 8O ) and I know I'm not Aspie.


Well, if you would have known me when I was younger, you would say Aspie 100%. Now that I am older, I have learned a lot, and improved myself to the point that you can barely tell, but the trained observer can still tell...

Anyways, I have known the "rights and wrongs" for my whole life, and being NT or Aspie have nothing to do with it...it's called wisdom. ;)



nurseangela
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06 Dec 2015, 4:29 am

SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
nurseangela wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
SilverStar wrote:
So, He likes/liked spending time with you, but when it started to go past the friendship level, he hit the brakes, and is now trying to distance himself, and push you away, correct?

There could be a number of reasons why he would do this, it could be that he isn't interested in you romantically, he could be interested in, or seeing someone else, he is unsure about you, or he could even have intimacy problems.

The only way to know for sure, is to have a talk with him.



He had a crush on me from day 1 and I did not like him like that in return. He wanted to snuggle and I did agree.


So do you like him romantically now, or have you ever? If he was romantically interested in you, and you just wanted to be friends, it's understandable that he would be upset and pull away, if the feeling wasn't mutual. As I have stated dozens of times on this forum, don't lead people on, if you are know they are romantically interested, and the feeling isn't mutual. This is exactly what happens. In most cases, people can't just switch their feelings off, and decide to be friends instead, no matter what they might tell you.


Are you an NT in wolf's clothing? You sure do know a lot about this NT stuff.
(Did you get the funny ha ha? Instead of "a wolf in sheeps clothing" and you got that wolf avatar thingy going on)


I just know things Angie...no need to make those tounge-in-cheek NT comments. ;)


I know I keep saying it, but I just can't help myself, Mr. S. You and I think so much alike (it's weird 8O ) and I know I'm not Aspie.


Well, if you would have known me when I was younger, you would say Aspie 100%. Now that I am older, I have learned a lot, and improved myself to the point that you can barely tell, but the trained observer can still tell...

Anyways, I have known the "rights and wrongs" for my whole life, and being NT or Aspie have nothing to do with it...it's called wisdom. ;)


I bet I could tell. :wink: You should be an Aspie advisor just like Tony Attwood! :D


_________________
Me grumpy?
I'm happiness challenged.

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 83 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 153 of 200 You are very likely neurotypical
Darn, I flunked.