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transsupernatural
Tufted Titmouse
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30 Sep 2016, 4:04 pm

I have OCD for sure.. Well, nothing's for sure when you have ocd, but I'm like 99% sure. Most of my compulsions are googling things, reading, checking to make sure I didn't drop something, checking to see if I ran someone over, and reassurance seeking from everyone, so now all my friends are pretty annoyed with me over that. Meh. I take Prozac and Seroquel but they don't seem to work much yet. I just started a month ago.

The worst part of my OCD is that I read so much about other disorders that I convince myself I have them, and I freak out about it. Especially when it comes to personality disorders. Yeesh, I really don't want one, but in all likelihood I have one of the anxiety ones. Buuuut then again that's my OCD talking.



MentalIllnessObsessed
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30 Sep 2016, 10:26 pm

Greetings. For me, I was trying to see if I have OCD, but I changed psychiatrist (long story) before she could tell me if it was official or not. She did comment about it only being mild though.

For me, when I get really stressed, I start handwashing. I have this weird feeling in my hands that I'm covered in dirt and I just want to get it off of me and this would happen every 5-10 minutes. I went through an ounce hand-sanitizer bottle in a week for three weeks in a row once because I used up so much and it made me so stressed.

I have pretty much gotten over my checking/rechecking. I would recheck essays for school over and over to the point that I checked it over double the time I actually wrote the essay. I would do this for test too. I still do get periods of this when I am anxious (like sending an email to a higher authority), mainly due to social anxiety. The social anxiety triggers this type of OCD I guess...

My main one is violent and/or sexual intrusive thoughts. These are not fun. I usually get at least 5-10 of these thoughts per day. I have my compulsion where I plug my ears, close my eyes, shake my head, and repeat "stop" or "go away" until it goes away. The worst I have ever gotten was when I had a violent thought about someone I care about dying violently, and they were with me when this happened, and I couldn't get the thought out of my head so I started crying because I was so scared that it was actually going to happen. Of course, it didn't happen, and it was pretty embarrassing because when I told them they originally laughed at me... I had my social script planned out to specifically say to not laugh, because to people who don't have MI(s), this is considered as a "funny" thing to think because they know it's very unrealistic. But someone with MI(s) may not or do but still can't stop thinking it.

So I wanted to work on this, to help these thoughts from randomly appearing, but I don't know if they ever will. Currently, this is not bad.


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 148 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)

Dx Autism Spectrum Disorder - Level 1, learning disability - memory and fine motor skills, generalized and social anxiety disorder
Unsure if diagnosed with OCD and/or depression, but were talked about with my old/former pdoc and doctor.

Criteria for my learning disability is found at this link:
http://www.ldao.ca/wp-content/uploads/LDAO-Recommended-Practices-for-Assessment-Diagnosis-Documentation-of-LDs1.pdf


nca14
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02 Oct 2016, 12:57 pm

I am diagnosed with OCD. I had obsessions associated with magical thinking when I was younger. Now I have obsessions associated with "magical thinking", religion and dirt (contamination). I get paroxetine (30 mg daily) beacuse of it. OCD can be really nasty.

I have also diagnosis of schizotypal disorder (in ICD-10 it is not among personality disorders, but in one category with schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder and persistent delusional disorder).



Flown
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29 Oct 2016, 9:00 am

I have been diagnosed with severe OCD with obsessive thinking and ritualistic behavior. I have somewhat curbed my intense ritualistic behavior over the years (still takes great effort not to compulse), but I have a very hard time with intrusive, obsessive thoughts. Despite being a very gentle person, I always fear that I am suddenly going to become a monstrous person and hurt others or do erratic things. Once I get notions like these in my head, I struggle to get them out and have trouble focusing on anything else but these terrible things. I get stuck in panic loops, replaying those things which could possibly happen. Nightly meditation (with noting) has helped me keep myself in check, but it can be very torturous at times.


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Flown
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29 Oct 2016, 9:06 am

MentalIllnessObsessed wrote:
.

You are not alone with your intrusive thoughts. They can absolutely terrifying and draining.

I don't know if it would work for you, but guided meditations (like Headspace) with mental noting have helped me tremendously with "accepting" and "allowing" these thoughts to come and go. Whenever I have one of these thoughts pop up, I just say "I know who you are. You are an obsessive thought." It has taken some time, but recognizing and labeling these thoughts really takes some of their power away!


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nick007
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29 Oct 2016, 2:58 pm

Flown wrote:
I have been diagnosed with severe OCD with obsessive thinking and ritualistic behavior. I have somewhat curbed my intense ritualistic behavior over the years (still takes great effort not to compulse), but I have a very hard time with intrusive, obsessive thoughts. Despite being a very gentle person, I always fear that I am suddenly going to become a monstrous person and hurt others or do erratic things. Once I get notions like these in my head, I struggle to get them out and have trouble focusing on anything else but these terrible things. I get stuck in panic loops, replaying those things which could possibly happen. Nightly meditation (with noting) has helped me keep myself in check, but it can be very torturous at times.
I had problems with intrusive thoughts. I screwed up my 1st two relationships cuz I would get thoughts in my head that bad things were going on with them that weren't which caused me to get panic attacks & I got controlling as a result; I take the med Busapr for my panic disorder. I also believed I was screwed up in the head & needed to electrocute my brain to make it rite. I planned to put some wires in my computers power supply & put them on my head. The thoughts told me it would fix my brain if it wouldn't kill me & I was so screwed up that dying would be better for me & the world than living like that. Taking Neurontin/Gabapentin has helped my intrusive thoughts aLOT. It's the only med that has helped without making me zoned out other than the antidepressant Anafranil/Clomipramine which made me shaky but I'm prone to shakiness side effects.


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Flown
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29 Oct 2016, 3:07 pm

nick007 wrote:
I had problems with intrusive thoughts. I screwed up my 1st two relationships cuz I would get thoughts in my head that bad things were going on with them that weren't which caused me to get panic attacks & I got controlling as a result; I take the med Busapr for my panic disorder. I also believed I was screwed up in the head & needed to electrocute my brain to make it rite. I planned to put some wires in my computers power supply & put them on my head. The thoughts told me it would fix my brain if it wouldn't kill me & I was so screwed up that dying would be better for me & the world than living like that. Taking Neurontin/Gabapentin has helped my intrusive thoughts aLOT. It's the only med that has helped without making me zoned out other than the antidepressant Anafranil/Clomipramine which made me shaky but I'm prone to shakiness side effects.

I'm glad you have found something that works for you! I was on SSRIs/antidepressants for several years, but I made the decision to wean myself off of them back in 2014 (due to some nasty side effects and feeling like an emotionless zombie). I feel much more like myself now that I am off of them, but I must admit that I do have more obsessive episodes. I generally avoid pharmaceuticals as much as possible as I am hypersensitive to just about anything I take. I occasionally have to take a low dose of ativan (.5mg) to calm down, but it is not something I take regularly. Adjustments to my daily habits (adding meditations and wind-down time at night) and alterations to my diet seem to pretty sufficient.


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NikNak
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30 Oct 2016, 9:29 am

I've had OCD since childhood. It's evolved and changed quite a bit over the years. Right now my most obvious symptom is instrusive, distressing thoughts which tend to 'flare up' when I'm going through periods of low mood and anxiety. SSRIs help but they also have all sorts of side effects so it tends to be a bit of a lose-lose situation. It's absolutely horrific to say the least.


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fourcandles
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31 Oct 2016, 5:38 am

I get obsessive about the physical condition of my books. I can't buy a book if there's a dirty mark on one of the pages. If I find a mark on a book I've already bought, I usually end up giving it away. I also have to wash my hands before I handle my books.

Apart from the book thing, I also have to check locks 3 or 4 times after I've locked them.



justkillingtime
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31 Oct 2016, 11:31 am

I tend not to read my physically perfect books because i don't want them marred in any way, like a dent in the cover.


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fourcandles
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01 Nov 2016, 1:55 pm

Quote:
I tend not to read my physically perfect books because i don't want them marred in any way, like a dent in the cover.

I wish people would treat books more carefully. I once saw someone in a bookshop thumbing through a book with one hand and eating a pie with the other. That memory still haunts me 8O



CrankyGoesToHollywood
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01 Nov 2016, 2:39 pm

I've had it since childhood. That sucked as a kid. I have intrusive thoughts and have to complete certain rituals or else I'm afraid something bad will happen.


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climategeek
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04 Nov 2016, 1:07 am

My OCD is very severe and it is mostly superstitious. I was bullied so severely public school and I was mistreated so horribly by the inclusion director since she did not like that I flex my rights by calling her out on her neglecting me that she punished me for being bullied if I got beat up, I got the punishment that was meant for the bullies after they beaten me up. This was 10 years ago and was the main, but not the only trigger for my OCD.

I also did not get along with my relatives at home did you have an authoritative parents and this set up the perfect environment for me to feel neglected and I began to become very rebellious since I knew I had autism and I felt I was being discriminated against and that I felt it was my right to stand up for my rights and not let anyone trample my rights, or manipulate use me like how I used to be.

Anyway, I felt I had to reverse Karma and that the karma That was supposed to go to the bullies for bullying me came to me and that is why I also had issues at home. I began to do the rituals as a way to break what I refer to as "an endless cycle of bad luck."

I noticed, or I thought I noticed that since I started my rituals my relationship with my family had improved remarkably and that I went from having nothing to having my relatives room after he moved away to another state and I had my own television computer and video game console from just two months previously having nothing.

I know now it had nothing to do with my rituals but I believed that very much back then that the rituals were the main source of my good luck and that the OCD rituals basically puts a shield around me and that I basically and that the bad luck that I did not deserve finally avoided and I had in a way "successfully leveled the playing field".

This is how illogical my thinking was and sometimes even today I feel that the rituals do make a difference in how good or bad my luck is and the experiment I attempted to disprove OCD and Superstition actually backfired on me and I in a way reinforced my rituals.

The experiments involve me reducing my OCD rituals for period of time making 10 optimistic and pessimistic predictions and seeing what will happen. I did several experiments during a period of decrease and increase rituals and I made sure that the predictions were out of my control and that they were all random.

To my surprise the results showed that during periods of increased ritualistic behavior my bad luck was at normal levels even good luck and even bad luck and when I reduce my rituals everything mostly turn to bad and I made sure the negative predictions were very unlikely to happen and when they nearly all happened I was beside myself with shock.

My uncle who's a psychologist was also shocked since I did the experiment with him and he now believes that it's some sort of willpower that I'm having that because my pessimism is so strong that the things that weren't supposed to happen occured.

Series one result which is pretty ridiculous, but strange at the same time. In one of my negative predictions, I wrote I swear that because I am so effing unlucky that I will not see any more 6 questions snowstorm to the rest of the year and I will not see more than 35 inches of snow for the rest of the winter. And I did that prediction during a period of significantly reduced ritualistic activity and I feel that because I was so unlucky that even though the weather patterns were all supportive of a major snowstorm for most of the winter that NYC where I lived was going to get almost no snow in compared to the surrounding regions.

There winter in Dripping Boston snowiest winter in New York City got average snowfall and even less snow than the winter before when New York City and Boston were closer to snowfall.

Then we had winter storm Jonas which was forecast to bring 20 to 30 inches plus in New York City and despite nearly all the computer models forecasting that much snow, I believed the New York City was only going to get 6 to 12 inches, and I believe that until the very last day, when it became really obvious that New York City was going to get 20 to 30 inches. When the storm ended my pessimistic prediction was correct and York City, my area got about 8 inches. I don't know if I should have done that, but I was openly criticizing the National Weather Service for overestimating the forecast and usually when it comes to whether I usually hype the snow because I am a huge snno lover, but yes that prediction shocked everyone and my parents teased me about how my negativity shooed the snow away.

I became so pissed off that I threw out the negative prediction and already nearly all the predictions had happened by then and that was basically the last straw and I resumed my rituals full speed.

I know it's probably just coincidence, but often when I make these look Pace predictions I am more right that when I try to use logic to make predictions. Maybe I just see some things that I cannot process and I use rituals as a coping mechanism.

What I'm about to say might make me seem like I an having delusions of grandeur and or mild schizophrenia.

When I was younger, I frequently had Deja Vu experiences and speaking of deja vu experiences I had one today, butt I knew that it was just a similar event that happened about 2 years ago that wasn't very close to what happened today.

However, I've had very vivid dreams and whenever I have very vivid dreams that usually happen.

I don't dream mostly when I sleep and if I do dream it's very rare.

If I do dream, it is usually a vision of the future and this trait actually runs in my family and my sister who is very strong and having visions of the future has actually accurately predicted events that happened based on these dreams. None of my family members have any mental issues by the way, this trait of having prophetic dreams comes from my mother's side of the family and as I got older the trait mostly disappeared and it's most noticeable for me was when I was 12 to 24 years old.

I tried to come up with scientific conclusions like how prophetic dreams are really miniature black holes that suck in information from the future in the brain process tiny Snippets of it better created by very intense electrical activity in the brain since the brain is most active at night. Sometimes it's even theorize that is just our subconscious that when we sleep transcends time and space and when it comes back and if the person wakes or isn't in a fully conscious State when the subconscious is partly transcending time space time continuum they might have a prophetic dream especially when it centers around big events.

I believe it's just that the brain is so good at processing information like a supercomputer which can accurately predict events in the future some of what the brain probably processes the infroamtion while asleep can play the information the subconscious processes as dreams as the brain can do some pretty cool stuff!

Today, I don't do rituals for superstitious purposes anymore and some of my little experiment I'm actually concluded that it was just coincidence as even during periods of almost no virtual secretary my life didn't change at all comic that experiment I did last year and as a result I concluded that my subconscious probably had me choose the best predictions to pick to make it seem like the OCD was actually helping.

As of today I have almost no OCD rituals and I have almost no anxiety issues all without any medication due to lots of psychotherapy and creative writing as I write a lot of fiction stories based on my fears and experiences.



Kovu
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07 Nov 2016, 8:16 pm

Actually a bit, yes.

People who lack hygiene make me sick.