Blog post comparing Aspergers and Psychopathy
I never gave my husband flowers either or either of my ex boyfriends. I never saw the point in it and I just thought it was something people chose to do because their partner likes flowers. My husband got me flowers once and all I said was "Put them in the vase" and he never got me flowers again, instead he only got me candy bars because he knows it's what I like and I really show my interest for it. I didn't realize then what the flowers were meant for, I only thought he just bought them because they were pretty and he just wanted some. I am sure this behavior might have hurt an NT. But the logical thing was putting them in the vase because that is what my mother always did when she got flowers and picked them from her garden. But I can't recall my dad buying any flowers for my mother when I was a child. I had only seen it in movies so I thought it was a TV thing. But I guess this lack of experience might be the real reason than AS. Sometimes people are ignorant of something not because of a social issue but because of lack of experience and lack of exposure to it. And it's a possibility I might not remember him doing it because I didn't understand and I only thought it was just something he was doing because he liked them.
Yet, she made a blog post comparing all aspies to psychopaths and a website slandering aspies as a group. I don't so much care that her relationship didn't work out. If it was only that then I wouldn't bother with this. It's the fact that she made a blog post comparing aspies aspies to psychopaths and that other site "heartlessaspergers", which spreads misinformation and reinforces misconceptions that exposes an almost guttural hatred of AS people that bothers me.
Yeah.
I had been wondering if maybe she had been in a genuinely abusive relationship with someone with A.S. and was projecting that onto every other A.S. person wrongly, yes, but in a way that I could see as mistaken or misguided.
Then I read her account of her bf from AS Partners, and wow - the guy sounded really awkward, and sounds like they didn't see eye to eye on things, but from that to create a rather intensive SECOND website called Heartless Aspergers from that experience...Holy crap.
You know, I think it calls into question her experience with psychopaths too. Because based on her AS trashing, it seems like her whole mode of dealing with bad relationships is to trash people. Obsessively. Maybe she did date a psychopath. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she has to have labels to judge people for, just to PROVE that they were the ones at fault after a relationship. It's not enough to have personal issues with her ex, she has to make something about them intrinsically and provably wrong - and that means demonizing the entire concept of AS. Because it means she can prove her ex was the bad guy.
In any case, seeing her experience with her AS boyfriend makes me realize that her website and articles are not merely ignorant, but genuinely malicious.
I had been wondering if maybe she had been in a genuinely abusive relationship with someone with A.S. and was projecting that onto every other A.S. person wrongly, yes, but in a way that I could see as mistaken or misguided.
Then I read her account of her bf from AS Partners, and wow - the guy sounded really awkward, and sounds like they didn't see eye to eye on things, but from that to create a rather intensive SECOND website called Heartless Aspergers from that experience...Holy crap.
You know, I think it calls into question her experience with psychopaths too. Because based on her AS trashing, it seems like her whole mode of dealing with bad relationships is to trash people. Obsessively. Maybe she did date a psychopath. Maybe she didn't. Maybe she has to have labels to judge people for, just to PROVE that they were the ones at fault after a relationship. It's not enough to have personal issues with her ex, she has to make something about them intrinsically and provably wrong - and that means demonizing the entire concept of AS. Because it means she can prove her ex was the bad guy.
In any case, seeing her experience with her AS boyfriend makes me realize that her website and articles are not merely ignorant, but genuinely malicious.
Yes, the more I've read of this lady's contribution to the web the more I think that maybe she has some kind of problem where she has to project everything bad in her life onto something or someone outside of herself. It seems like she could be having some kind of scapegoating reaction to anything that goes wrong. I'm sure it is still possible that she dated a psychopath and then dated an abusive AS guy, but the data she's put up about the AS/NT relationships she had just doesn't corrolate with the intense malicious rhetoric she's using, or even the fact that she's put up a whole site because of one unsuccessful relationship. It seems out of balance and disproportionate to me.
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"That's no moon - it's a spacestation."
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ICD10)
Just to let you know, I was going to let this thread die but I've just seen on the original blog post that started this thread that the author claims to have contacted Alex to get this thread removed. Personal attacks, seriously? So, the observation that she doesn't seem to understand how a stigma affects any group of people according to what she wrote in her blog post and that her blog actually creates and/or propagates a stigma towards AS people is not a criticism of her article but a personal attack on her? I'm sorry but a lot of the posts that I made in this thread was actually a direct criticism of what was written, even quoting directly from the article, and the forum rules of WP do not prohibit us from having opinions about something else written on the internet, whether offensive or not. At least as far as I'm aware.
Here are a bunch of things in the article that made it's credibility take a significant drop.
When she quoted the thing about how any of us who are offended by the article need to "go back to tracking weather statistics".
When she called meltdowns "adult tantrums" as if we we were doing it for attention when in reality that's the last thing we want.
When she claims that we try to act like neurotipicals because we are trying to be manipulative and we don't invest any emotion into anything, ignoring the fact that most of us have to do it because we were/are bullied for being different and we are afraid of being judged for being who we are. [sarcasm]Thanks a lot article, you are really helping with that.[/sarcasm]
When she assumes that we are incapable of being anything but mind blind. I am aware that everyone else has their own emotions and thoughts. Granted I developed this awareness later in life then most people do, but it's there now.
When she claims that we don't care about other people's suffering. I care, it's just that I have a hard time figuring out when it's happening and when I do I often don't know how to respond to it properly.
And especially when she assumed that all aspies are the same.
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Also known as MarsMatter.
Diagnosed with Asperger's, ADD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2004.
In denial that it was a problem until early 2016.
Deviant Art
Another Pots which I got by this website is troubling indeed. http://heartlessaspergers.com/stunning- ... f-empathy/
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ever changing evolving and growing
I am pieplup i have level 3 autism and a number of severe mental illnesses. I am rarely active on here anymore.
I run a discord for moderate-severely autistic people if anyone would like to join. You can also contact me on discord @Pieplup or by email at [email protected]
People don't become psychopaths / sociopaths because they're Autistic. People become psychopaths / sociopaths because they've been desensitized to the suffering of others following years of neglect or abuse.
People who become psychopaths / sociopaths are typically loners who have been bullied for many years and snap at a certain point in time because they're fed up with the abuse. They've become consumed by rage and hate because they've only seen the nasty side of humanity for most of their lives.
While some individuals with Autism end up become psychopaths / sociopaths, attributing it to their Autism is like attributing a woman killing the man who raped her to her being female. Men like Adam Lanza did not choose to be a loner. Men like Adam Lanza did not choose to be consumed by rage. They've victims of a society that shows little tolerance for those who are "different".
People who become psychopaths / sociopaths are typically loners who have been bullied for many years and snap at a certain point in time because they're fed up with the abuse. They've become consumed by rage and hate because they've only seen the nasty side of humanity for most of their lives.
While some individuals with Autism end up become psychopaths / sociopaths, attributing it to their Autism is like attributing a woman killing the man who raped her to her being female. Men like Adam Lanza did not choose to be a loner. Men like Adam Lanza did not choose to be consumed by rage. They've victims of a society that shows little tolerance for those who are "different".
Defending Adam Lanza like this kind of plays into the mentality of people like the author of that blog post that I started this thread about. Adam Lanza had other problems but even if we assume it to be true that he had Asperger's, that does not mean that Asperger's is the cause of what he did.
I'm sure killers like Adam Lanza did experience bullying and trauma growing up. But many people do who do not become consumed with rage and violence, and in fact grow from their experiences to become more compassionate and sensitive toward others. I believe that the few who do snap, who do become psychopaths, do so because a neurological tendency was already there, and got triggered by difficult experiences.
Abuse/neglect does not produce psychopathy in most people, and actually, there are psychopaths out there who did not experience trauma - I should think these would be more 'functional' psychopaths, but still neurologically wired as psychopaths.
I also think that when people become consumed with rage, there is a significant element of choice - it's the choice to embrace the rage, or resist it and mature past it, regardless of who you blame for it. While I think it's good to understand the triggers and lead up to mass killings, I'm not too fond of the idea of viewing someone like Adam Lanza as a victim. I mean, I'm sure Hitler was a victim in his own way (ah crap, did I just invoke Godwin's law? Oh well)...Point is that regardless of all the reasons they got to be the way they are, at some point, certain people are just flat out truly evil. And I think Adam Lanza qualifies as evil.
Abuse/neglect does not produce psychopathy in most people, and actually, there are psychopaths out there who did not experience trauma - I should think these would be more 'functional' psychopaths, but still neurologically wired as psychopaths.
I also think that when people become consumed with rage, there is a significant element of choice - it's the choice to embrace the rage, or resist it and mature past it, regardless of who you blame for it. While I think it's good to understand the triggers and lead up to mass killings, I'm not too fond of the idea of viewing someone like Adam Lanza as a victim. I mean, I'm sure Hitler was a victim in his own way (ah crap, did I just invoke Godwin's law? Oh well)...Point is that regardless of all the reasons they got to be the way they are, at some point, certain people are just flat out truly evil. And I think Adam Lanza qualifies as evil.
Yeah, whatever he might have suffered in his life, I find it extremely difficult to sympathise with him even though I've known abuse and bullying myself. He walked into a school and shot and killed little children. It really doesn't get any more evil than that.
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"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War
(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)
Not every bullied turns into a school shooter
Not every abused grows up to be a narcissist or have BPD or any cluster B disorders
Not every abused grows up to be an abuser
Not every stressed out person turns into a psycho that they end up killing their own children and themselves, especially if they were handicapped
Everyone is different and I wonder if there is some genetic component and the only way for them to be that way is if something in their environment happens. There is a debate about rather someone can be born evil or if they are created but I wonder if it's both. One has to be born with it but for that person to be evil, it has to be triggered like abuse or something. Look at Diane Downs, she had Cluster B disorders and people could argue, including her, that she became that way because of the abuse from her father and the fact none of his kids were allowed to show feelings and not allowed to cry but none of her siblings grew up to have Cluster B disorders and they were raised the same way as her so could she have been born that way and her father just triggered those disorders because she was born with the genetic factor?
And many others seem to grow up to have PTSD than turning into a psychopath or a narcissistic. Some get multiple personality disorders.
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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses.
Exactly my point.
Did you even read what I wrote?!
Yes, I understood what you meant but blaming something like the Sandy Hook shootings on the way others treated Adam Lanza can still be interpreted by some people as saying that people with AS or high functioning autism are "loose cannons". That everyone has to be nice to us or we can blow a fuse. That is really not the message that I want us to be giving people and it's not true or accurate either.
I do not blame Autism for Sandy Hook or similar shootings.
I blame the intolerant attitude of Neurotypicals towards those who are "different" from whatever arbitrary social norms they hold so very dear.
It all depends on how isolated you are... on how much you're ignored or abused; hated or mocked by those around you.
Check out this scene from A Brilliant Young Mind :
I was very much like Luke when I was a teenager... and I was véry, véry close to becoming just another high school shooter.
When all of your peers either hate or mock you for just being yourself, it doesn't take much to become consumed by hate and rage. There's only so much abuse that a person can tolerate... that ANY person can tolerate...
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