Can someone with ASD be an Alpha male?

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joshskuxx
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11 Dec 2015, 1:53 am

alpha males are the ones that girls like because they are socially adept,confident,calm, strong, physically attractive (most of the time) and they do what they want without caring about what others think/rejection. Would it be possible for someone with asd/anxiety to overcome their difficulties and become an alpha male?



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11 Dec 2015, 5:04 am

It depends as to which level of intensities one must contain to fit the criteria.

I consider myself an Omega Male.

Omega usually means the 'bottom of the barrell, thw worst' in biological wolf societies but from a philosophical point of view, an Omega is one who does not ascribe to the 'Alpha/beta' rules and is actually above them.

A simple way to describe it is, the Alpha male is the leader of the pack, and he needs the pack to feel powerful, an Omega is powerful, without needing to be a leader or even be in the centre of attention to feel satisfaction. The Omega doesn't need their friends to re-assure them. Most alpha males are insecure in that without validation/approval from others, they aren't sure if they actually are confident/attractive/etc.

I possess all those qualities you listed. In school my senior year I was decently popular, but not the centre of attention. I avoided trouble and drama mostly, but I was not afraid to take it head-on to stand-up for myself, and usually did. I was confident, but not arrogant. I would contribute my opinion without giving a sh*t, I was outspoken and politically incorrect, but also knew appropriate times to speak-up and appropriate times to just keep my mouth shut (plenty of a55h•le alpha males who didn't). I was polite, noble and respectful, but also aggressive, harsh and a smart-alec. I don't consider myself a good guy or 'nice guy' and don't believe in subjective good/evil. I'm a 'decent guy', a guy with both positives and negatives, and not afraid to admit this. And finally, I was hard-shelled, but for the most part empathetic.

Physically, I am decent looking and take are of myself well, and consider myself at least a 6.5 on average.

Anyway, yes you can be this way but it took a lot of hardwork and effort.

I think I said in another thread of yours in another section that you can achieve all those things you desire, but they take a lot of hardship.

I've suffered far more depression, anxiety and misery than happiness and success, even today I'm not always happy, but I don't give up on happiness, moreso I've adapted and I'm use to being miserable or having a negative view of life.

Anyway, in the other thread I told you I achieved what I achieved through trial and error, and learning from all successful (and failed) experiences. I'm sure you've heard quotes that say success is 99% failure and 1% success, well that's true. But the success is worth it.

So forget about your comfort zone, take risks, do anything and everything you can in life. You'll make so many mistakes. I creeped out so many girls, I was so desperate for friends or a relationship at times, I pissed off so many males, I got into fights, I got rejected for friendships and relationships, I felt too anxious to do this and that, I vomited from anxiety in front of a girl, I embarrased myself many times, I behaved inapproprietly, I got into trouble with teachers or aggressively, etc. etc. etc.

But don't take things too far of course, don't get into trouble with teachers or the law or parents - respect all adults. But, from time-to-time, I wasn't afraid to 'bend the rules' a little and slip between the lines (going to out of bounds areas, getting into fights/issues but getting away with it, etc.).

I'm just trying to say, I was never one of those aspies who 'flies under the rader' throughout high school.

But I became what I am today because of it. Like I said in your other thread man, if you can handle it, do it.

And my fricken god, I've had to put that stupid captcha code in like 6 times now. :evil:

EDIT: And you live in Brisbane? Nice. I'm a toowoomba guy myself (unfortunately).



Last edited by Outrider on 11 Dec 2015, 7:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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11 Dec 2015, 8:24 am

Of course he can.

I, personally, don't care to be.



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11 Dec 2015, 12:21 pm

I'd like to offer a thought of consideration:
"Alpha males" don't do what they want.
They do what they need to do, in order to get and keep what they want.

They don't just act.
They act because they want something.
And how do they know how to get it? -- I think mostly from advanced Theory of Mind, intelligence and (social) observational skills.

Good luck with Theory of Mind and social observational skills as a Spectrumite! (That's sarcasm for y'all :mrgreen: But please, try to prove that it can be done! :) )



dobyfm
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11 Dec 2015, 6:18 pm

It can be possible, but why should it matter? Personally, I find this whole "alpha male" thing ridiculous. People should just be themselves and not worry about appearing as an alpha, beta, or whatever.



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11 Dec 2015, 7:06 pm

Anyone is capable of anything so yeah probably.

I find no identity in any of the standard male types.



wilburforce
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11 Dec 2015, 7:13 pm

dobyfm wrote:
It can be possible, but why should it matter? Personally, I find this whole "alpha male" thing ridiculous. People should just be themselves and not worry about appearing as an alpha, beta, or whatever.


Yeah, people who obsess over social class and social standing freak me out--I seem to have an innate inability to respond to social hierarchies (I approach everyone the same despite their place in the hierarchy because I ignore that aspect of socialisation), so this stuff makes no sense to me at all.



Berzerker777
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12 Dec 2015, 6:24 am

Well, the thing is, being alpha isn't for the sake of getting girls. It's for the sake of impressing other dudes. You don't want girls who like alphas anyway. Trust in berzerker, he's never steered anyone wrong..... mostly because he's never steered anyone before.


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slw1990
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12 Dec 2015, 11:28 pm

wilburforce wrote:
dobyfm wrote:
It can be possible, but why should it matter? Personally, I find this whole "alpha male" thing ridiculous. People should just be themselves and not worry about appearing as an alpha, beta, or whatever.


Yeah, people who obsess over social class and social standing freak me out--I seem to have an innate inability to respond to social hierarchies (I approach everyone the same despite their place in the hierarchy because I ignore that aspect of socialisation), so this stuff makes no sense to me at all.


I feel this way too. Also, it seems like when people don't care at all about what others think they become insensitive to other peoples feelings and act disrespectful to some people and it seems like when people are confident to the point to where they become arrogant they hurt and manipulate others with no remorse. That at least has been my experience.



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13 Dec 2015, 3:15 am

Yes.
I'll make a modification to what many parents say: "You can be anything you want to be - within reasonable physical possibility."
It may take growth, and a long time of continually trying (and failing, but learning each time), but you can change as a person. For me it takes months, if not over a year, to change my attitude or personality on a relatively deep level. But I believe it can happen. Some people have medication help them with it, though not me. But the behavioral tendencies you currently possess can be trained, and though I don't think it's necessary to treat yourself like Pavlov's dogs, it does take determination.

You can do it. But first, like the other posters said, you should ask why you want to come off as an alpha male. Is it for the rewards you perceive? Women, money, fame? Or is the idea of the confidence an alpha male possesses the allure? If it's any of those, you can achieve those without turning into a total alpha male. Really, the only thing I've needed to achieve those things (I've gotten a modicum of money, fame, confidence, and a woman in the past) is kindness, determination, and the willingness to ask for help.


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marshall
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13 Dec 2015, 7:10 pm

dobyfm wrote:
It can be possible, but why should it matter? Personally, I find this whole "alpha male" thing ridiculous. People should just be themselves and not worry about appearing as an alpha, beta, or whatever.

Yea. Why? It's stupid and banal as hell. I don't see why anyone would want to sacrifice depth for being "alpha". We are human beings, not dogs.



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13 Dec 2015, 7:22 pm

Why can't people just serve and love one another instead of stepping on others just to get ahead and impress ladies/dudes?

If people were to seriously consider that, maybe this whole "alpha/beta" structure would disappear entirely.

Doesn't it seem rather "primal" and animalistic?


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marshall
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13 Dec 2015, 7:29 pm

marcb0t wrote:
Why can't people just serve and love one another instead of stepping on others just to get ahead and impress ladies/dudes?

If people were to seriously consider that, maybe this whole "alpha/beta" structure would disappear entirely.

Doesn't it seem rather "primal" and animalistic?

Call me a snob, but most REAL people I know don't fit into these stupid simplistic categories.



Qimera
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13 Dec 2015, 9:16 pm

If I'm not mistaken, the "alpha male" as a concept originated from research that involved a social observation study of captive wolves who were unbeknownst to each other.

I'm certain that study was later rescinded by the author who admitted that wolves in a natural state are not an angry growly bunch of snarling beasts trying to constantly kill each other, but are rather quite simply...a family.

Quite often, among the "animalistic", the leader is someone that's commonly respected, selfless and genuinely favoured. Not necessarily the "strongest". Such leaders lead from the front and take responsibility for their actions as opposed to typical human "alpha males" who use their control to incite "subordinates" to take risks for them and/or humiliate them to keep the pecking order's attention away from themselves.

I prefer and respect "animalistic" leaders myself.



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13 Dec 2015, 9:43 pm

No. Alpha males are disgusting excuses for humans.



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14 Dec 2015, 4:54 am

I'll join the 'alpha/beta/pack mentality' debate.

I do not actually believe it is true biologically, at least not in humans.

I do, however, am not against using the terms in a philosophical/metaphorical aspect.

I don't believe that we as humans actually posess pack mentality, but I see no issue with identifying certain traits in individuals and giving it a name.