Guardian article about dating

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hurtloam
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16 Dec 2015, 2:21 pm

Because this is where we share this sort of stuff.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/16/why-have-i-never-been-asked-out-google-answers#comment-65223210

TLDR:

Quote:
So maybe you’re just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him for the time because you’re frightened to tell him how you really feel, and fear rejection. Or perhaps you’re just a boy staying in on a Saturday night because you’re scared of putting yourself out there because you really liked someone once, but they left you to your newts. Either way, if you’re wondering why you haven’t been asked out, it’s probably because you haven’t done enough asking yourself yet.


Discuss...



cberg
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16 Dec 2015, 2:37 pm

Seems like middle aged newspaper editors faulting my generation for being hardworking. Usually I like the Guardian but I honestly could have done with half that tl:dr...


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hurtloam
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17 Dec 2015, 8:27 am

Tumbleweed

Oh well, in future I'll just comment on the Guardian forum.

Seems the only person really generating posts on this forum is the obsessive troll. Wrong Planet seems a bit passé these days.



QuillAlba
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17 Dec 2015, 11:49 am

I thought the article was crap, london-centric crap with a whiff of middle class bollocks.



cberg
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17 Dec 2015, 12:35 pm

I'm not trolling, I just wouldn't say this has much to do with my experiences. I've known for quite some time about others' anxiety, this article seems to hold that against its' audience ad nauseum. I just only ask anyone out if I'm sure she's someone I should ask.


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sly279
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17 Dec 2015, 4:43 pm

I'm trying to avoid posting as I just seem to annoy women here.



wilburforce
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17 Dec 2015, 5:13 pm

sly279 wrote:
I'm trying to avoid posting as I just seem to annoy women here.


Perhaps that might have something to do with the way you constantly talk negatively about how all women are evil gold-diggers.



sly279
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17 Dec 2015, 6:12 pm

wilburforce wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I'm trying to avoid posting as I just seem to annoy women here.


Perhaps that might have something to do with the way you constantly talk negatively about how all women are evil gold-diggers.

I describe how women in my area act and say. You're the one who defines that as evil gold digger.



wilburforce
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17 Dec 2015, 6:18 pm

sly279 wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I'm trying to avoid posting as I just seem to annoy women here.


Perhaps that might have something to do with the way you constantly talk negatively about how all women are evil gold-diggers.

I describe how women in my area act and say. You're the one who defines that as evil gold digger.


No, you describe how the women in your area whom you've interacted with act, except you present your descriptions as descriptions of how all women are everywhere by generalising and saying all women only want money. You complain CONSTANTLY (and I mean, that's like literally all you talk about here) about it, and then don't understand why women are put off by you. Your own mindset is your enemy, not the women who won't date you.



cberg
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18 Dec 2015, 1:11 am

QuillAlba wrote:
I thought the article was crap, london-centric crap with a whiff of middle class bollocks.


Ahh middle class bollocksing, the old art of foisting so much blame upon the bearers of a misfortune that everybody forgets what was being discussed.


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sly279
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18 Dec 2015, 3:00 am

wilburforce wrote:
sly279 wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
sly279 wrote:
I'm trying to avoid posting as I just seem to annoy women here.


Perhaps that might have something to do with the way you constantly talk negatively about how all women are evil gold-diggers.

I describe how women in my area act and say. You're the one who defines that as evil gold digger.


No, you describe how the women in your area whom you've interacted with act, except you present your descriptions as descriptions of how all women are everywhere by generalising and saying all women only want money. You complain CONSTANTLY (and I mean, that's like literally all you talk about here) about it, and then don't understand why women are put off by you. Your own mindset is your enemy, not the women who won't date you.


I never say all, you in your sexism against men assume that any man talking about a woman or bunch of women must be talking about all women. Cause to you all women are wonderful Angels. You seek sexism where it isn't because you thrive on complaining about sexism. What would you do if you didn't complain about men supposely being sexist?

Gosh forbid men with aspergers come to a support forum and vent about their love life in the love and dating section, nope it's only for women to vent in men just have to shut up and deal with their problems.

You and Katy and some others won't be happy til all men are banned from wp and it's just the few women left. Go make a women's aspie forum if you so wish to be away from men.

Sorry op that wilburforce has decided to turn your thread into another sexism where it's not battle.



hurtloam
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18 Dec 2015, 4:08 am

Sly, don't engage her in conversation, she's just winding you up. If you don't respond it will stop.

Like I am ingnoring Quilalba's classism dig (well not entirly because I mentioned it, but you know what I mean.)

I shouldn't have used the quote I did, that wasn't the bit that actually interested me. It was how Melinda thought that she couldn't ask out Stuart, who she really liked. And the bit about how our nervousness understandably starts in the classroom where we can be flamed for being honest about who we have a crush on. I reckon a lot of us carry that fear into adulthood.

I thought the article was positive, that's why I shared it.

"If you have never been asked out, there’s a chance you’ve been admired from afar by a magnetic Melinda who still carries the old-school rules with them and hasn’t been able to reconcile what the heart wants with what they think it ought to have."

Maybe this is more for women and I should have put it in the women's section.



cberg
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18 Dec 2015, 4:31 am

Lol I did read the article and I agree with your second quote more, though I'm still confused about what the columnist meant by "old fashioned", in a bigger historical sense I think the push for dating equity is more natural/normal than most people in modern societies might realize. After all it's mostly a matter of how we associate emotion with language. As for me, I just chill out, slurp coffee & build things. That's the sum total of all I do and girls still find it interesting. The grass is always greener where people can't even fathom the grass.


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QuillAlba
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18 Dec 2015, 7:38 am

cberg wrote:
QuillAlba wrote:
I thought the article was crap, london-centric crap with a whiff of middle class bollocks.


Ahh middle class bollocksing, the old art of foisting so much blame upon the bearers of a misfortune that everybody forgets what was being discussed.



Was more a playful joke aimed at the guardian, which I read and sometimes even enjoy, loved the use of 'foisting' , so underused these days.



XFilesGeek
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18 Dec 2015, 9:42 am

[MODERATOR]

Let's try to stay on topic and not let this thread degenerate into bickering.

Thanks.

[/MODERATOR]


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