very strongly sometimes avoiding your crush

Post Reply New Topic

ive alreeady posted smth like this in here bf but i didnt get much answers and it was a long rant so this time im gonne make it a lot shorter with a little bit of a more specific question

theres this boy in my neighbourhood that i really started liking and also having an extremely strong feeling that he likes me too, as i started seeing him very often riding by my bus stop with his bike exactly like 1 min bf my bus came and that happened two summers straight and im telling you i even calculated the possibility of it being just a coaccident and trust me that turned out to be EXTREMELY rare. i know my calculations. let alone two summers straight. and sometimes we would be looking at each others eyes a lot longer than with random people if he was biking right towards be. but also very often i was very scared when he was near me so i too pretty much ignored him by just staring at my phone etc so maybe he was thinking that i still didnt like care or smth.

and now whats happening is that ive seen him several times at the bus too and sometimes he would sit near me or smth but now for a few times he has suddenly just got out of the bus, even though this isnt his stop yet and he has just walked home like a few extra stops. also he too seems to be on his phone everytime im near him too and well i havent seen very exactly but he doesnt seem to talk to anyone there or do basic s**t like that, just desperately trying to do smth in his phone switching between some random apps or whatever he has in his phone etc (like i didnt see what apps cause i didnt stare at his phone too intensively either lol but yeah it just looks like he just tries to be on his phone all the time, and the other times when he hasnt seen that i am near him he isnt really looking at his phone

and i have a very strong feeling he might have aspergers its a long story why but im usually quite smart at those things

i just wanted to ask would such thing still be normal if he still happened to like me like would anxiety and aspergers and such or maybe him thinking i still dont like him make someone do such things. I mean especailly the stepping out of the bus much earlier part which seems to be a bit of a nonsense. thank you

or could some of you relate to this stuff and say they did such "irrational" things too. much love

please

I did something similar yeah, in high school I had a crush and avoided her all the time because the anxiety she gave me.

thank you! how did the avoiding part reflected if i may ask? i mean what did you for example do to avoid them or in how extreme ways did you indulge in such thing? i just wanna learn more about that extremely avoiding someone when you like them very much part, since hence my asd im personally not like that at all and dont undestand as in dont understand that sort of "irrational" feeling situations like this might give to some people.

I wouldn't describe it as irrational personally, because there's a reason for it. Heightened states of arousal are not always pleasant, so avoiding feeling unpleasant is why he would avoid you. Now he also probably feels good around you but there's also a lot of the line. What if you hate him? Then he'd be crushed. Avoiding you also avoids what would happen if there was no mutual attraction, thereby he can keep his desire alive longer.

have a similar situation at the moment where I try to be near my crush, but other times I try very hard to be away from them, especially when I do not know how to interact with them. my best example was when I was working on a weekend(I work at the one hardware store in town, so we have a lot of people come in but rarely anyone my age). I came back from lunch and saw the store was busy but there weren't any customers waiting to be served, so I went to stack some shelves and happened to catch a glimpse of someone I thought I recognised, so I stopped for a second and saw it was my crush. I instantly went to the other side of the shop and started feeling a bit sick and shakey from anxiety. I went to the toilet to try and compose myself and went back to stacking(not checking to see if there were staff members at the counter). a few minutes later and a woman asks me if she could be served because there was no one at the counter, I see the product she is holding and instantly feel bad again as it was from the same section as my crush was in. sure enough it was my crushes's mum(who I had not seen before) as soon as I get to the counter I avoid contact with them as much as possible, looking just at the computer monitor or the recipt printer and only talking to tell the price, even though was something that I had wanted In my mind for ages. once they left I went straight to the storage room and began to silently breakdown out of disgust and worry.

I find that if I have a crush on someone I get fixated on them, sort of like an obsession. They're all I can think about, and when I'm unable to talk with or see them, then I'm stuck with those constant thoughts, unable to enjoy literally anything else. That coupled with anxiety makes having a crush a rather undesirable thing. I tend to avoid people I have a crush on. To avoid them I'll usually just try to do something else and if possible, not keep in regular contact with them. I also try to "suppress" my feelings before they become an obsession, which usually doesn't work.

Sadly, my crushes do not last a short period of time. I've had a crush on one girl for about a year and a half and it's just as strong today as it was when it started. We used to talk most days, but these days we rarely talk. I also had a crush on another girl for about three years prior to the one I mentioned above.