What is the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to you..

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most recently about having aspergers, "that's not an excuse for your behavior"

the person was my boss. she said, "i have a niece with aspergers, so thats not an excuse for your behavior"
i think she was the most closed minded manager i've ever met in the workplace.

another comment that hit me like a monkey swinging a wrench, "you dont look like you have autism"
this coming from a person who "looked" like they had several disabilities.

I write books and wanted to take a creative writing class. I came up with my story line all by myself and a family member told me, "Just remember that this is a CREATIVE writing class". They haven't read what I write and it really hurt because I worked so hard to make my story line work. I'm going to take a writing class because I can't share with anyone what I write. That's one of the most hurtful things anyone has ever said to me because I worked so hard and then that happens.

The worst thing happened in a dream. I saw a piece of paper on which someone, maybe a teacher from my past, had written: "Autistic person, no purpose in life."

My "best friend" since 4th grade, not long after high school, told me she had only been my friend all those years because she felt sorry for me. Toxic people are toxic.

My father:
"Don't bleed on my f*****g carpet!"

My mother:
Any time she broke down into tears crying because of something I did. Which was often.

My best friend:
"You're like a verbal apocalypse."

Other friend:
"I'm so tired of you treating me like a bug you're inspecting."

I had what I considered a very close friend, whose girlfriend would regularly verbally abuse me in front of him (e.g., accuse me of being a basement dweller who would never amount to anything). My offense was simply being his platonic friend. No one likes being verbally abused, but what hurt most was that he would just stand passively by and let her rip into me, shrugging it off by saying he couldn't control her and she was just jealous... which was true, but friends don't let friends get treated that way.

I took the abuse since, in part, the hateful things were things I kind of believed about myself. Who was I to argue with her?
I also truly valued my friendship with my friend; to date, I've never met someone I felt like understood me so well. It wasn't worth rocking the boat. I remember one day, though, I finally asked him why he let her treat me this way; I would never let him be treated that way. Did he let her say the things she did because he, himself, believed them deep down?

"I don't know; maybe," he said.

That really cut deep.

To go away and annoy someone else.

To Shut up

Constant comments about the volume of my voice, I have no control over it till some tells me, I don't want to shout and it upsets me when I am reminded.

I don't think dwelling on this stuff is at all helpful btw

I treat mean people like barking dogs, as untrustworthy and to be avoided whenever possible.

"Where have you been, in a hole?"

"You're a mooch." (I am not, I don't know how to get people to not give me things or pay for things - sometimes they do these things and I do NOT even want them, and then they call me a mooch!

"You're inconsiderate." (while actively trying to be considerate)

"I feel like you're using me" (while actively trying to show gratefulness and and respectful of what they did for me)

If only I had $1000 for every time I heard "spastic" or "ret*d" in school and being treated like an object. It's taken so long to allow my heart to heal and to learn to love myself

People I know in person never believe just how much I struggle or how hard some things are for me. They see me at my best and assume I'm always capable of that, and am just not trying hard enough at other times. Every single person I thought I could trust to actually believe what I say has made at least one comment that indicates otherwise. For example, no one I've told in person believes that when I'm very stressed, overstimulated, or experiencing a strong emotion of any kind, I can't speak no matter how hard I try, my vocal cords just won't respond to my commands. I'm always told things like "Oh, don't blame your vocal cords," "You can if you just try," and "No, I think you just don't want to." It's very hurtful to try my best and constantly be told it isn't good enough. My father is the worst offender. If he doesn't like how I handled a situation, or if I didn't succeed at something important, he immediately starts yelling at me about how I clearly don't care and need to actually try, and after a minute or two of this, I'm not capable of saying a word in my defense. Then when I try to leave to give us both time to calm down, he calls after me "And you need to stop running away every time you don't like something." I guess I know why I always feel like I'm useless and not good enough - because I'm always being told so.

Some years ago when I was even more a hermit than I am now, severely depressed and generally messed up, my mum - understandably desperate - told me the thought of coming home knowing I was there made her feel like she didn't want to come home. She and my dad gave me an ultimatum regarding leaving... Perhaps the oddest part of my life back then was that I was actually in my first serious relationship with my boyfriend, the poor fool.
Their ultimatum sent my anxiety to levels I hope never to experience again. I felt a sense of utter doom and actually didn't sleep for four or five days which anyone who's done the same knows drives one insane all on it's own. You sort of have waking hallucinations.
I broke down shortly after, quite a feat considering how broken I already was. Killed my relationship. But my mum's words will stay with me to my grave. I hate her, myself and my whole situation when I remember her remark, because I know she meant it, even though she has told me since she regretted them.

My most hurtful experience was in action not speech. My mother hung herself in her old house after she said she was missing it, so I gave her the keys, despite knowing she was suicidal. I betrayed my trust in her. I understand she was mentally ill at the time, but that has not been a comfort to me.

My comfort came when she haunted me to apologise. I didn't know what she wanted for about three months, until the reason dawned on me in a flash, and I said, its okay mum, I know you were ill, and I forgive you, for you were ill.

My ex, when we were still together, said about me "People don't understand her like I do. She doesn't understand herself like I do. I know she isn't a human being but a robot... a BROKEN robot. And when a mental health professional treats her like a human being, they shouldn't. I stopped treating her like a human being and our relationship got better. I used to be a robot too, but thankfully not yet broken, thanks to you." Said to a female friend of his, while I was still with him! This among tons of other hurtful s**t.

"I don't believe a word you say..... you are only looking to further your own agenda and have no interest in the truth." Words recently said to me by a judge when I tried unsuccessfully to fight an unjust traffic ticket. Like most Aspies I bend over backwards to be both honest and fair and this comment made me furious, especially since I showed objective proof the cop was not a reliable witness.

The prosecutor was also nothing short of a bully but at least I expected a character assassination from him.

I think when I was threatened to be fired for liking some employees over others. That was enough to show me my job was only for the money.