Why am I feeling stressed easily?

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For the last week or so I've been feeling easily aggravated by things that would only mildly annoy me or not at all.

Yesterday I had a panic attack when I got to my boyfriend's apartment (he was at work so I was there alone). The bus was late and there was loads of people standing right in my space, and someone kept staring at me, and when the bus came a woman shouted at me to move out the way to let people off, which was difficult because I was tightly surrounded by other people but she only yelled at me. Then when I got on the bus I felt tears coming uncontrollably, even though I wasn't feeling depressed or upset. And then when I got to my boyfriend's, I got in the bed sheets and cried and cried, whilst gasping and having major difficulties breathing. I calmed down after a while, and got my breath back, althought I still felt tearful.

It definitely was a panic attack.
And today I feel stressed; noises keep hurting my ears, people keep walking into me, I feel everybody's staring at me, and I feel impatient with all the cars and people.

I seem very emotionally fragile at the moment, and I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at anything.

I get like that a lot too. With Autism it can be tricky. Sometimes things affect us that we don't know are affecting us. They can very small things that we don't notice. It could be the increase in general activity as the holidays approach, even people's mindsets and body movements around us like in stores and places we go and even with our families and loved ones often change and become more hectic this time of year. We often don't realize how these kinds of things actually really can have a huge affect on us without us even realizing it consciously. Our brains are putting out a lot more energy to process these kinds of things and so even though you don't realize it, you are probably much more exhausted than normal. So because you are more mentally and emotionally exhausted, you have a much lower capacity to deal with anything and your tolerances are much lower.

Try to rest as much as you can and if it's possible, I know what really helps me a ton is to take walks in nature like at my favorite park. I actually crave it like an addiction sometimes because it helps my brain take a break and relax. But don't worry, there is nothing wrong with you. You are just feeling and dealing with stresses that you don't realize are happening. Try to really slow your life pace down and get into as many natural environments as you can. And you can have your boyfriend help you by asking him to be soft and gentle. That helps too. And if you can cut sensory stimuli, I know that really helps me too. I try to keep lights off as much as possible and try to keep my environment as quiet as possible and I limit my interactions with people so that I don't get overwhelmed by them.

Hope that helps.

Joe, we had talked about seasonal depression before, do you remember? Have you done anything to ramp up your coping - bright lights, antidepressants, therapy?

skibum said there is nothing wrong with you- I'm not so sure. If you have depression, there are things you can do about it, and denying there's a problem will eliminate any chance you will do those things.

Yes it sounds like a panic attack, but difficulty coping with stressors and crying are also symptoms of depression. And depression and anxiety often co-exist, so it doesn't have to be all one or all the other.

Hope you feel better soon.

Last edited by BeaArthur on 20 Dec 2015, 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

BeaArthur, what I meant was there is nothing wrong with Joe as in she is not doing anything bad. Yeah. depression in and of itself is a symptom that something is not right but I did not mean it in that sense. I did not want her to think that she was doing something wrong in the sense of doing something bad or being a bad person. Sorry for the miscommunication. I should have worded it so that it would be more clear and easier to understand what I meant.

ok skibum, I see what you're saying now. Thanks for the clarification.

People with autism usually have a very very small stress threshold, this is because of my psychologist calls it the "autistic part of the brain"

The autistic part of the brain has a goal; to keep you on the corner of your bed wrapped in a warm blanket where its safe (not literally) anything other than that is scary and dangerous to the autistic brain and will try anything it can to get you back to the corner of your bed. The human part of your brain wants to do things and socialize and see things, this causes the autistic brain to freak out.

in other words you should probably lay low for a few days. avoid going out, do whatever your interest is until you feel more calm.

i was feeling really tense like you a few days ago and had a small meltdown, my psych told me to just stay low for a few days.

I knew what skibum meant.

I'm on 50mg Sertraline, been on them a while and they have been keeping my rage outbursts under control, so I prefer to stay on them. What I mean by rage outbursts is swearing, hitting myself, slamming and breaking doors, and screaming verbal abuse at other people in my house. I'd rather cry and have a panic attack than to have one of those outbursts again, as that behaviour is not in my nature.

I don't think it is seasonal depression, as this year winter is more like spring, as we're getting rain and mild temperatures, no snow to worry about. I turn on all the lights in the evenings to block out the darkness.

I do things that relax me a lot, like relaxing in a hot bath with a magazine almost every night. I'm not that big on walking out to relieve stress.

I'm unhappy at work because there's this woman who keeps picking on me. I feel like telling the boss, but I'm not really a telltale, and also I'm afraid it might make things worse. This woman keeps nitpicking on nearly everything I do or say, just to give her an excuse to tell me off. Then when I stand up for myself, she gets upset and hypocritical, and then I feel bad.

Your post described many upsetting things then you got very upset. What is missing is understanding that. I have similar issues to you; I have breakdowns of some sort but won't know why. I am working on recognizing them, recognizing my emotions, and recognizing what -i- am like.

Actually I've been told by NTs that anxiety and panic attacks are hard to understand. I do talk a lot about how I feel to other people.

Often things like me not being NT and everyone around me are NTs depresses me. The antidepressants make me not think too deeply about that most of time, but sometimes it all comes to me, and then everything else aggravates me. It will soon pass.

It seems that you're being bullied at work on a regular basis, and it probably has increased your stress level above your tolerance threshold. Taking steps toward resolving that situation will help with your anxiety. If you're not sure how to proceed, approach your boss and ask for his/her help dealing with a conflict that is having an impact on your ability to feel comfortable in the workplace. No one has to be blamed for this - it's just you asking for help in handling this appropriately yourself.

I did this in a similar situation when my immediate boss and I were in nearly constant conflict. I asked her boss for advice on what I could do to improve my relationship with his employee. He acknowledged the difficulties that her personal style presented, and offered me sound and sensible advice on how to handle interactions with her for a more amicable outcome. I took this advice and almost immediately the situation and my relationship with her improved - and my stress level dropped.

It might have something to do with the time of year.

Christmas and all that.

Also my boyfriend has just phoned me and asked me to do his Christmas shopping on Christmas eve. He works an awful lot, 12 hours a day, and I understand he doesn't get a lot of time to himself, but I wish he had asked me to do this earlier. I'm working every day next week too, except for Christmas eve, and he's in a big panic now because his Christmas shopping isn't done. Neither of us shop online, so that's out of the question.

I'm just a bit annoyed because I did all my Christmas shopping in November/beginning of December, so that I wouldn't have to face the crowds, and I told him to do his Christmas shopping then too, when he gets a day off, but he's now left it to the last minute. Christmas eve is going to be absolutely manic in the shops, and I don't do crowds very well.

Plus I've got to work Christmas day, and that woman's going to be in, and will probably pick on me. She's so bitchy and I can't be doing with it.

I'm so stressed, feel so under pressure.

Honestly hon, if it were me, I'd tell him no. Shopping on the 24th is such a guy thing to do ... he can either do it himself, or give out rain checks to the people he is giving presents to. Oh or how about GIFT CARDS, in 15 minutes he can stop at any place that sells those and pick up all he needs.

Just because he wants you to, doesn't mean you have to. Just tell him you're stressed enough and he needs to figure out another way.

That sounds like a good idea. I don't mind doing favours for him, as he would do favours for me if I had to work more and he had a bit more time off, but this is rather inconvenient.

I have problems organizing myself, I procrastinate most things and don't plan my time very well (which is why I lose friends), but with the Christmas shopping I really focused on getting it done on time. I took a few days off work to allow myself plenty of time, and I did all my Christmas shopping there and then, to avoid stress. Nice and organized. If I'd have known my boyfriend was going to put off his Christmas shopping til Christmas eve, I would have asked him for a list and done his along with mine.