9 Guidelines For Dating With Asperger's

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This was very informative, and much needed. I like what you said about a Guy or Lady liking you for wit, brain and candor. However if I may ask an honest question, what if you have all that until you are around someone you like? How do you keep your brains when your hormones are kicking in at an embarrassing height, and making selective mutism worse? It is hard to even make friends with guys I am remotely intersted in because of issues as such. I have piped down on trying as a result because I am Not sure how to work through these stressful ad embarrasing issues. I dont feel I can use my brains right around most people I think pose a chance of suitability. Could use some tips, advice, and any relateable expiririences.

Neither my NT wife or I were lolling for a relationship when we met.
We connected on many levels.
16 years after we met I was diagnosed. I asked her recently if she would have married me if she knew I was autistic.
She quickly said yes.

Hey guys we just launched a new dating app that's like nothing else out there. It lets you read reviews of past dates to keep the weirdos away and specify exactly what kind of date you are looking for (how much you want to spend/be spent on you, what type of experience you're looking for, and lots more. We weed out losers, spammers, and all the other nuisances you come to expect on most dating apps. The result is a high quality match that's right for you.
Would love to get some feedback from everyone! https//itunes[dot]apple[dot]com/gb/app/tmo-dating/id1032349052?mt=8

thank you for these tips!they really helped me in my life.God bless you

Wow, well I am now seeing the benefits of different classifications cause I thought my boyfriend was purposely annoying me, I felt horrible , then, the answer came straight to me cause I really like him and I ve been paying attention to everything and now that autism is more spoken about I realized from a commercial that he was showing the same symptoms like the light sensitivity which by the way is only with artificial lights like bright lamps, anyway I was moved to look deeper, he is a funny caring guy (im his "nerotypical" girlfriend) I am not sure if he is aware of this condition as from my little research it was medically formed in the 90s and he is a 60s baby, I didn't know how to discuss it without offending him cause my intial reactions to his behavior was defensive and I called his speech pattern passive aggressive cause I had no clue, so I found this site, I signed him up knowing he is going to check his email and visit and I pray he sees there are alot of "different" people and much support. I am kinda different myself although neurologicaly I could be classified as typical, I know I am way more than that as all of us human beings are way more than our classifications...im just really happy to have found this site and I hope my boyfriend appriciates this gesture. I appreciate you sharing and opening my eyes.

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Don't make a relationship commitment if you don't feel anything towards your would be girlfriend/boyfriend, S.O., it's not a game where you can just stop the relationship and re-start it at your whim.


Though that is not aspergers specific, people in general shouldn't do this.

Thanks for sharing this.

A biological test would be excellent, and as soon as I get into the workforce that's what I want to work on (though am afraid it will be used for nefarious purposes).

Honestly, I didn't like that article too much. I feel words were used in ways that were not clear, the bold was usually fine but the back up made me cringe in a lot of places.
By the way, the best way to get a username without a huge chain of numbers on a very popular site is to add aspie/aspergers/autism/autistic/ASD somewhere.
If "define" is meant as in the end-all and be-all of existence, then I agree. Otherwise, Asperger's is a part of me, a set of personality traits I'm really proud of, and I wouldn't be me without it so is that not a definer?
Also, you shouldn't treat someone differently because of ASD. You should treat them differently and have different expectations because they are a unique person with unique abilities and a one-of-a-kind personality.
Otherwise, generally good advice.

I heartily disagree with androbot01's assertion that "the author s female, but the topic is disappointing." She made some very astute points in the article.

It certainly is possible that some people - not only autistics or men - view women as appendages and accessories to others' lives, particularly men's. Countless websites, magazines and books are devoted to that exact premise, and their targeted audience is - you guessed it - women. One could almost call them trade magazines in their exhaustive dissection of behavior, appearance, clothing, cosmetics, diet and exercise 'tips', flirting and dating, and other salient topics of "how to get and keep a man."

That said, being in the still very white-male-dominated IT profession, I certainly understand the frustration some feel in perceiving a white male dominance on this site. The way to mitigate that perception is to actively participate by contributing articles and comments on any forum, regardless of whether it's WrongPlanet or not.

I'm very glad that these websites even exist. I, and others like me who weren't diagnosed until late in life, didn't have the benefit of this sort of camaraderie, let alone the Internet or personal computers, as children and teens, so this is a marvelous development in helping everyone feel less isolated and share our hard-won experiences with each other.

Cheers, liz

[/quote]
"white male dominance" Who's to say most users here are white, or that sexism is a white male invention? That's racist AND sexist. Also, yes, men have Autism far more than women do. Thats biology, so expect to see less articles on it. That's how it is, sorry.[/quote]

I beg to differ. No, that most certainly isn't "how it is."

Males are more often diagnosed than females simply because society's tolerance of male aggression is generally higher - until that aggression becomes difficult for parents and other authority figures to physically contain as boys enter adolescence. That alone leads to a higher likelihood getting referred for evaluation and diagnosis.

A higher incidence of autism diagnosis for males isn't inherent in human neurobiology. It's merely a byproduct of social norms. This isn't solely my view, but that of multiple published authors, including Dr Tony Attwood, Steve Silberman (Neurotribes, 2015), and Simon Baron-Cohen - all males, interestingly.

As a sidebar remark, the so-called 'autism epidemic' of 1 in 88 (1.47% is hardly epidemic) children wasn't popularly bleated until autism became a separate Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) code in 1993, with DSM-3. Autism is hardly a brand-new condition, although certain special interest groups would have us believe that it is.

In the Sixties, Seventies, and even into the Eighties, autism was conflated with profound intellectual disability and non-verbal disability. This egregious misunderstanding of autism excluded all of us who were articulate and bright and denied us the benefits of early diagnosis and assistance that could've made our lives somewhat smoother.

I received my formal diagnosis under the auspices of DSM-5, which introduced more stringent criteria for determining autism. Asperger's is now integrated into DSM-5's 299.00 code as level 1 autism, lacking intellectual and verbal impairment. Only America uses DSM. The rest of the world uses ICD, which I've been led to believe still considers Asperger's separate from classic autism.

The fact remains that autism is a neurodevelopment difference involving one's brain and central nervous system. Prevalence and incidence of autism between genders is mainly attributable to social norms and to the rather widespread lack of understanding that still hampers the medical and allied health professions to this day.

Hi. (Nt, here)I'm glad to have found this site. I've been reading a lot about aspergers lately and I have come to believe that the guy I have been involved with probably has it. Is there somewhere I can turn to for support? Recently he withdrew and I stressed out. Now I'm blocked again from his fb afterI asked him via text if he has it..... (My damn lack of self control) he was very angry and said he obviously doesn't have it. We haven't been able to get this thing off the ground. I feel I need to be properly respected and appreciated and treated at least like a friend before we can have a sexual relationship. He said he would do his best. That's all I could ask for. I was thrilled. We made plans for an over night and I shopped for sexy underwear. But over thanksgiving he acted like I was annoying him when I tried to communicate with him on fb and texting. I canceled. I said i didn't feel close enough to trust that i would be respected and honored with my sexuality. I may be in denial but I believe he is acting so aloof, and then angrily pushing me away because he is aspie and can't help it. Maybe he doesn't have it. And maybe he really is a jerk. But he shows signs of having it. And I wonder if I should just forget about it or if I should keep on learning and just be there if he is ever ready. (I know I have work to do before I'm really ready.. So this go around was doomed to fail.... We've been involved and then not speaking before...) I love him truely. And I want to be together, and I'm will to learn how to work with him. But I am pretty high strung. We don't mix well at times. And he can be very harsh! I am working on my stress management just for my own sake. I want to have a beautiful love with him. He says he doesn't share my dream. He wanted a friend with benefits. I was unwilling to do that. I would take all the classes needed and work on being patient and understanding if only he were willing to do his best, as he said. And maybe he was. Maybe I screwed it all up all over again.

He's not going to change. I wouldn't bother with the relationship; if he's like this at the beginning he will continue similarly.

1/ Ignore this buzzword filled cake recipe of an article.
2-9/see 1.

Find someone who thinks you might be magic.