Can't handle moving out, but can't stand family anymore

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Anyone else in this situation? I don't have enough skills to move out right now. I can't stand my family because they're always in my face and extremely boring at the same time. I also don't feel like I have any privacy or control over my life. All of this makes me way too depressed to be motivated to learn anything. It's a horrible catch 22.

Yes, Me. I don't even like mine. They serve some purpose I guess, but mostly they're just noise makers who don't wear shoes around the house and that creeps me out. I don't like feet, and I don't like feet anywhere near me. Though I have a foot fetish. I can't figure it out.

You're still pretty young.

I get the feeling, within a couple of years, that you will acquire the necessary skills.

After all, you are inspired enough to want to move out.

I remember when I used to be in that situation. I was constantly aggravated by my family. I deliberately isolated myself when non-residential family came to visit, hated my brother being in the same room as me, nothing personal, I was just so easily agitated by everything and so I developed bad habits.

Since I met my boyfriend I have felt a lot happier in myself, and not so frustrated and angry, and I think he has a good influence on me because I am now more able to tolerate more, and I've learnt that my family aren't going to be around forever, and so I shouldn't waste time getting agitated and isolating myself from them, because I love them very much. Now I feel more willing to socialize with my family, because I find isolating myself in my room makes me more angry and agitated.

I still live at home with my parents, but I am looking for a job closer to my boyfriend so that I can move in with him. But in the meantime, I am a lot easier to be around.

I'm not really embarrassed because I'm living with my parents. It just hasn't been good for my mental health.

Moved out in september, i love it but i cant recommend it, for reasons that im actually First nations so i am able to live on the reserve for free and im on Welfare but other than that everything a lot less stressful than i expected it to be.

I would recommend a group home?

I feel like that sometimes, or maybe a lot of the time actually. I have practically no personal space right now and it is really annoying because I get really overwhelmed with notnhaving enough time to myself. My family is really weird about me talking to people online and such which is also annoying. Its a really tough situation for me abuse I have a lot of social anxiety and it makes it hard to "get out there" and get a job and so on. I really want to eventually move out and be self sufficient fairly soon.

My advice is to try not to let resentment build up towards your family because you're frustrated with not being independent yet.

I know exactly how you feel. Allow me a paragraph to explain a bit about me:

My mother is a single, recovered alcoholic, and until I was 17 (when she sobered up) she would get drunk A LOT (and sometimes even drive with me in the car, getting in a roll-in-the-ditch wreck once when I was 5). Instead of her taking care of me, sometimes I'd have to be the one to take care of her from a young age (get her a waste bin to puke in, bring her some ginger ale and saltine crackers, massage her temples at 3 in the morning on a school night, etc). I didn't have many people on whom to rely when I was young, and so after my dad starting reading the Bible to me when I was 7 (four years after my parents got divorced), and explained the concept of a "spirit" to me, I decided to listen to my own spirit from then on (whom I interpret as my conscience 16 years later). He's always been there for me, through the best and worst of times, even when no one else was. Eventually, I grew to resent my mom, but I felt held back by being autistic - held back from getting a car; held back from dating; held back from getting a job; and especially held back from ever moving out on my own. I felt trapped in her home, even though I so desperately wanted out. Now I'm almost 23, and although I still don't have a car and have never had a license (but I have practiced driving a little since I was 15), I've had a few jobs, I had a girlfriend (although sometimes I wish we had never met, but that's a story for a different time), and I finally moved out of my mom's place after living with her for over two decades. And it feels liberating. I don't have many friends right now either (except for Spirit, my 16-year-old conscience) and I worry about resources and supplies like rent money and groceries at times, but it's still a helluva lot better than living with my mom.

So, let me ask you this: do you have reliable transportation? Do you have steady income? Do you live in a large, diverse city with an almost endless number of shared living situations to choose from on craigslist or an equivalent site? If you're able to answer "yes" to at least two of those questions, then what's stopping you from moving out?

I felt like that when I lived with my parents. My parents were very critical of my Aspie quirks/issues & my other mental & physical disabilities. I cant live alone because of my disabilities but I thankfully met my girlfriend on this forum who has Section 8 housing voucher but cant handle living alone either because of depression & anxiety. I moved from Louisiana to Vermont to be with her.

Had a similar situation - low tolerance of my parents' nonsense, plus my mom was always trying to get me to come out of my room to be more social. (Worked so wonderfully - I ended up just setting up my computer on a couch in the middle of the living room so everyone could watch me like a museum piece while I shut them out) Dad still doesn't get that aspergers is a thing, and mom was really critical of me making online friends because she assumes everyone online is secretly a serial killer. I love my mom... but sometimes it's such a burden talking to her. I already know how she'll react to everything, I know what she's going to say because she's stuck on repeat half the time, and I just don't see any point in talking to her anymore. Especially about things that are important to me because she either doesn't get it or is opposed to my views. What's the point in talking to someone I can so easily predict - and I'm always right about what she'll say, I've tested this multiple times - and who says things I don't want to hear? I tried explaining that to her when she confronted me about not wanting to talk to her as much as I used to, and that just blew up in my face... My brother I was okay with, but that's because we're both pretty certain his brain's not exactly 'normal' so we've got that in common. I got really lucky that I've got a great long term nt boyfriend I moved in with who's super understanding and helps with the stresses of semi-independent living. Staying with my parents was driving me insane(r), the distance has been fantastic because I can deal with them in small doses.

Something interesting that I don't know if it's a possibility for you or not... back when my bf was living with his parents, they turned two upstairs rooms and a bathroom into a bit of an apartment, walled off and independent from the rest of the house - mini-fridge, microwave, that stuff. So he basically was living at home while not really living with his parents. Maybe you don't have all that space, but if you set up your room like a one room apartment and tell your parents you're experimenting with how to be more independent, maybe you can get away with something similar? It would be an intermediate step between actually moving out and living with parents, and hopefully they'd respect you enough not to come barging into your new 'apartment' set up unless for some reason you want to invite them over.

Yes. My entire childhood/teenage years, and also later when I moved back in as an adult. It was very stressful. Is there any chance that they can understand your need for additional privacy and emotional/psychological/social space? I hid in my room most of my late childhood/teenage years, lost in fantasy books. Then I went to college, and the dorms were too much for me to handle, very stressful, triggered a lot more depression and anxiety. I do think privacy was needed and alone time....but I think I developed this habit/coping mechanism of hunkering down in my room, waiting for the present stage of life to be over before coming out - and now I'm stuck in that mentality. It makes it harder/more stressful to go out of that comfort zone, and as an adult, you need to.

Is there any way to get more privacy/personal space/time? Are they in your face because they are concerned about you, or is it just their personality? I wonder if there is any part time work environment that would get your skills and money, even a little - but most of all, a different environment to be in than at home for a part of the day. Or can you escape to a library, cafe, park, etc? I feel for you, I felt like my home environment was toxic to me, I'm still recovering from it. As much as I loved my mom, our whole situation was complicated and not good - and I felt like a trapped animal.

I do have my own space, but people still barge in. One of the problems I have is my mom being dry with me. My strategy right now is being dry with her or pushing her away a bit. She now seems to be less dry with me.

Honestly, I'd move out. It's not easy for sure, and you might have to look into a job or disability funding, but it beats living with other people. Once you do it, you'll wonder how you managed to live with other people in the first place.

Not at all suggesting that this would solve your problems - but the fact that they barge into your space...that would be hugely unsettling for me. Then it's almost as bad as if I didn't have my own space - because I would still be lacking in privacy, and not feeling the benefit of the security of my own space because others can violate it, and I can't even be sure when Perhaps for others that is minor...for me, that is MAJOR. Basically, like I can't control my own space or privacy.

What is preventing you from being able to move out specifically?

You are still really young, I didn't move out until I was 22 and that was only because I was fortunate enough to have support from my parents.

Being on your own will make you start appreciating family when you do see them, it's easy to just get so fed up and overwhelmed with them but that's all of most of us got and we don't get to choose. You know, distance makes the heart grow fonder, that sort of thing.

I might move out. My family and I just don't see eye to eye. Even though it is not really practical for me to move out it would make things much more peaceful.