Do I have aspergers? Really confused.

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Hey guys! I'll try to make this short and to the point as possible. For a few years now I've thought I might have aspergers. However, my boyfriend of two years, my family, my therapist, my friends, all say I don't. What makes it so hard to figure out is I have traits that fit both me having it and not.

Aspergers traits: I'm verryyyy analytical and black and white. Sometimes I take things too literally (rarely). I've been told I can move rigidly (I've had multiple people assume im in the military). I've been told I come off "intense". I fixate and can obsess on things. I prefer being alone. Talking in large groups can make me uncomfortable.

Now, the things that don't really fit: I have zero problem picking up social cues. In fact, people say I'm TOO good at it. I'm very empathetic and can respond accordingly. I have no problem reading facial expressions and body language. EXCEPT, when I'm so determined to get what I want out of a conversation. In that case I can still pick up on it, I just don't respond to it and don't care. I also have no problem with Idioms, taking them literally, or anything. I can carry on conversations. The only real social thing is sometimes during small talk someone will say something and Ill just freeze for a second, almost like my brain is stumped and shuts down for a second, I have no idea what to respond. But this is very rare and I recover quickly. The thing is I can almost instinctively tell when someone has aspergers and I feel like they notice me. And some people think I do. For example, today I had a medical check up. The doctor said "I can tell your analytical" I asked him why and pushed him and his son has it and he said I reminded him of his son. My boyfriends brother also implied I had it.

What's going on?! ! I'm so confused. Thanks for any help! And I'll be glad to answer any questions and provide more info.

you sound like you have good social skills, theres no information here that would be any red flags for Autism Spectrum Disorder.

ive said it before and ill say it again..
a lot of people who post on here are forgetting that autism spectrum disorders, even in the most MILD form are disabling to a degree. These four MAIN categories of symptoms need to be present to a disabling or troublesome to the person experiencing them or people around them.

- Inability or great difficulty Socializing and communicating.
- Obsessions, Fixations, Repetitive, Routines, Rituals
- Sensory Sensitivity
- Executive Functioning issues.

Yes, ALL four need to be present in some way or it doesnt qualify as a diagnoses, i didnt make this up, this is what Psychologists use for diagnoses, and it NEEDS NEEDS NEEDS to Present since the age of 18 months AND it needs to be disabling in some way shape or form, For example:

at the age of two,no eye contact, stacking or lining objects obsessively, rarely showed facial expressions, did not respond to name, and did not initiate play with others. Painful response to loud sounds, bright lights or textures, picky eating or refusal to eat anything. Routines, Obsessions and rituals, like I ritualistically took all the clothes out of my closet EVERY NIGHT and put them in a pile in my door way. Stimming behaviour like hitting self, bitting, rocking back and forth, rolling, flapping hands, chewing. Meltdowns

Are you able to work?
Are you able to ask for help when you need it (IE, call plumbers, doctors, police ect)
Are you able to leave your house?
Can you take care of yourself? (wash yourself daily, keep your house clean, buy food)
Can you form meaningful relationships, (Not ALL but A LOT of autistic people dont find meaning in relationships, its only used as a function)
Can you abandon your obsession or "special interest" temporarily to devote time to things like work or school (big problem for me!)
Are you frequently depressed or suicidal?
are you lonely?
Do you have Meltdowns and shutdowns?

Now im going to explain meltdowns because theres a lot of misunderstanding about them.
Meltdowns or sometimes defined as rage is NOT A TANTRUM. its a complete loss of control and behaviour, it can range from small to large, a small meltdowns may consist of Crying, hyperventilating, unresponsive, screaming and large ones can consist of attacking others, screaming, self harm, destruction of property, hyperventilating, crying, swearing, speaking in tongues.the causes of meltdowns are as follows
-Build up of unresolved emotions
- loss of control
- fear
-Change in routine and enviroment
- sensory overload
Shutdowns are when the person has become overloaded either sensory or emotional. they consist of inability or difficulty responding to another person (diffculty understanding what that person has said or forming sentences) , confusion, difficulty seeing, staring into space, sleepiness, and slow or delayed reactions.

Remember, even the MOST ADAPTED AUTISTIC PERSON STILL HAS THESE ISSUES TO A DEGREE. NOT EVERYONE WITH AUTISM IS THE SAME BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN SOME SYMPTOMS JUST ARENT THERE, THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF A DIAGNOSES.

Hopefully this informaiton can help. if you feel that you need aid and therapy, SEEK A PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSES, however if your just curious a self diagnoses will do fine, i personally dont believe in self diagnoses but whatever floats your boat..

Good luck and welcome to WP. your welcome with or without autism.

+1 for everything ZombieBride said. Your analytical mindset might just make you more thoughtful about things, or more detail-oriented; by itself, it's not a significant indicator for autism. Your obsessions could fit into the same category. Many people wth higher intelligence demonstrate analytical thinking and obsessive interests, but that doesn't automatically make them autistic. Your lack of social problems definitely suggests that you don't have autism; social problems are one of the largest diagnostic indicators of ASDs. Do you have any sensory problems? Intolerance of sounds that don't bother others, fluorescent lights, tags in clothes, strong scents like perfume, etc.? Conversely, do you find yourself craving more stimulation than others? A lot of swinging, bouncing, or high-impact activities? Bright or flashing lights, loud music, a large variety of textures, etc.? These are also sensory problems: the first are "hypersensitivity", the second, "hyposensitivity". Such sensitivity is an almost universal trait among autistics, although its presentation fluctuates considerably from person to person.

To be certain though, you'd have to go to a specialist trained to diagnose autism in adults. Have you asked your therapist why he/she doesn't think you have AS?

My therapist did not believe I had autism, neither did anyone else.

After years of depression, I found a booklet about the spectrum in adults, in my mum's office -she's a therapist too!-.
'My' therapist did make a phonecall to get tested in a certified autism center, but only after we looked though the booklet together and I pointed out what made me think that I could be on the spectrum. Even I was shocked that this was a possibility.

It explains my whole life. Nobody saw it. And if it wasn't for the coincidence of finding that little booklet, I would still be considered just weird, not adapted and a spoilt brat.

If you want te be sure and get help in organising your life, get a diagnosis. On a forum we will never be able to tell for sure weither you have 'autistic traits', it does not work like that. Not after growing up and 'fitting in'.

A diagnosis involves looking at the chilhood, a parent will need to go and talk about your behaviour. You might as well be so smart and adapted that you've learnt to pick up on social cues. We grow up and try to manage, try to explain the world to ourselves. We do not often have the same behviour as children on the spectrum.
Because I talk a lot, nobody believes I am on the spectrum, for instance.

I have a feeling that the psychiatrist/paediatrist/consultant may make my infant diagnosis of autism disappear and I won't have it anymore because as a child it was pretty much normal for me to act the way I did since at that age I didn't know what autism was or how it affected me. But now that i've done all the research into the condition part of me will assume others think i'm just making it all up and acting this way on purpose just to get another diagnosis as they seem to have lost my old diagnosis.

No one here is qualified to diagnose autism spectrum disorders.

Seek the counsel of an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional.

What above poster said^

You strictly speaking don't have autism unless an official diagnosis proves otherwise.

^Hmm, not necessarily. I spent the first 21 years of my life being autistic, but I didn't know it. Not having a diagnosis didn't mean I wasn't autistic. It's not the label that gives you the disability, it's the disability which earns you the label.

^^^^
This

Well yeah, but good luck trying to prove it without any documentation. Without a diagnosis it's just as possible that you don't have Aspergers as it is possible that you do.

To someone who is not an appropriately trained and licensed mental-health professional, without an official diagnosis, it's just as possible that you are lying about having an ASD as it is possible that you are telling the truth - moreso that you are lying if the person is a government bureaucrat standing between you and large sums of financial aid.

I did not see anywhere that the OP was seeking finiancial aide or trying to prove anything.