Crushes are Hard!!
07 Feb 2016, 4:56 pm
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Last month, I been reading about crushes, guys & reading guy's body language (I'm not good at that) I also read about guys liking women & not liking them too. He is showing alot of signs that he is interested in me, like little stuff he does for me, going out of his way to do extra things for me (I think I said it right) he waved at me & said something when I was in line, I didn't know he was talking to me, I was looking around seeing who he was waving & talking to, this was in October or November.
From what you've said, it doesn't seem to me that he's really done anything to hint interest. Everything you described could be chalked down to friendliness.
It's possible that he's into you, but I wouldn't be resting my laurels on it if I were you.
I wouldn't be able to know if he really is interested or not without observing the two of them, but I wouldn't be so dismissive. At least, I can identify very well with how she operates, and I would never pass on such a possibility, and I'm rarely wrong about interest. I'd say if it feels right, then it probably is too.
07 Feb 2016, 5:26 pm
rdos wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Last month, I been reading about crushes, guys & reading guy's body language (I'm not good at that) I also read about guys liking women & not liking them too. He is showing alot of signs that he is interested in me, like little stuff he does for me, going out of his way to do extra things for me (I think I said it right) he waved at me & said something when I was in line, I didn't know he was talking to me, I was looking around seeing who he was waving & talking to, this was in October or November.
From what you've said, it doesn't seem to me that he's really done anything to hint interest. Everything you described could be chalked down to friendliness.
It's possible that he's into you, but I wouldn't be resting my laurels on it if I were you.
I wouldn't be able to know if he really is interested or not without observing the two of them, but I wouldn't be so dismissive. At least, I can identify very well with how she operates, and I would never pass on such a possibility, and I'm rarely wrong about interest. I'd say if it feels right, then it probably is too.
I'm not saying he definitely isn't interested, but there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to suggest either way.
In my experience, interpretations of interest from crushes are tainted by the person doing the crushing, mostly in favour of them.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
07 Feb 2016, 5:49 pm
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm not saying he definitely isn't interested, but there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to suggest either way.
Right, and in that case I'd interpret signs in a neutral way. I wouldn't require definite evidence (the scientific way), rather I'd evaluate the probability, and if it was more probable there was interest than not, then I'd settle for possible interest.
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
In my experience, interpretations of interest from crushes are tainted by the person doing the crushing, mostly in favour of them.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
True, but if you are too careful you will miss possibilities. The stake might be high, but the reward is too.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,697
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Feb 2016, 6:03 pm
rdos wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm not saying he definitely isn't interested, but there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to suggest either way.
Right, and in that case I'd interpret signs in a neutral way. I wouldn't require definite evidence (the scientific way), rather I'd evaluate the probability, and if it was more probable there was interest than not, then I'd settle for possible interest.
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
In my experience, interpretations of interest from crushes are tainted by the person doing the crushing, mostly in favour of them.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
True, but if you are too careful you will miss possibilities. The stake might be high, but the reward is too.
I'm not saying she should stop seeing/being interested in the guy, but playing the 'does he/she like me?' game often doesn't end well.
If I were OP, I'd continue talking to the guy, taking each interaction at face value until he does something to blatantly suggest romantic interest or lack thereof.
Your mind is probably going to want to interpret these interactions. I know mine does. But whenever I think a girl likes me because she initiated a conversation with me or whatever, I pull myself back, and remind myself that there's every chance that she's just being friendly.
I used to get heavily engrossed in interpreting my crushes' actions, to the point where I would experience sadness if I interpreted even the subtlest of cues that she didn't reciprocate my interest (which may have retrospectively been no real indicator at all)
07 Feb 2016, 7:20 pm
rdos wrote:
I wouldn't be able to know if he really is interested or not without observing the two of them, but I wouldn't be so dismissive. At least, I can identify very well with how she operates, and I would never pass on such a possibility, and I'm rarely wrong about interest. I'd say if it feels right, then it probably is too.
You are right about observing me & him. What do you mean how I operate?
07 Feb 2016, 8:22 pm
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
rdos wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Last month, I been reading about crushes, guys & reading guy's body language (I'm not good at that) I also read about guys liking women & not liking them too. He is showing alot of signs that he is interested in me, like little stuff he does for me, going out of his way to do extra things for me (I think I said it right) he waved at me & said something when I was in line, I didn't know he was talking to me, I was looking around seeing who he was waving & talking to, this was in October or November.
From what you've said, it doesn't seem to me that he's really done anything to hint interest. Everything you described could be chalked down to friendliness.
It's possible that he's into you, but I wouldn't be resting my laurels on it if I were you.
I wouldn't be able to know if he really is interested or not without observing the two of them, but I wouldn't be so dismissive. At least, I can identify very well with how she operates, and I would never pass on such a possibility, and I'm rarely wrong about interest. I'd say if it feels right, then it probably is too.
I'm not saying he definitely isn't interested, but there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to suggest either way.
In my experience, interpretations of interest from crushes are tainted by the person doing the crushing, mostly in favour of them.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
Do you want hurt me? You going make me feel bad again. I wish people could be supported. Sorry to say this, but it's true.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,697
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Feb 2016, 9:04 pm
Kitty4670 wrote:
I wish I have friends in my city so I can talk to them. I want to get over my crush!! This is tooooo much for me, it's hard having a crush.
I understand. I had a heavy crush before, when I was...13? 14? Maybe a bit older. It lasted a while, something like four or five years. It's difficult but it does eventually fade. I'd only recommend that if you don't consider doing anything about it, though, which in turn I would not recommend. As they say; we regret the things we didn't do, not the things we did.
_________________
Such is life, that expressing yourself and the truth has you berated.
auntblabby
Veteran
Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,697
Location: the island of defective toy santas
07 Feb 2016, 9:45 pm
Kitty4670 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
rdos wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Last month, I been reading about crushes, guys & reading guy's body language (I'm not good at that) I also read about guys liking women & not liking them too. He is showing alot of signs that he is interested in me, like little stuff he does for me, going out of his way to do extra things for me (I think I said it right) he waved at me & said something when I was in line, I didn't know he was talking to me, I was looking around seeing who he was waving & talking to, this was in October or November.
From what you've said, it doesn't seem to me that he's really done anything to hint interest. Everything you described could be chalked down to friendliness.
It's possible that he's into you, but I wouldn't be resting my laurels on it if I were you.
I wouldn't be able to know if he really is interested or not without observing the two of them, but I wouldn't be so dismissive. At least, I can identify very well with how she operates, and I would never pass on such a possibility, and I'm rarely wrong about interest. I'd say if it feels right, then it probably is too.
I'm not saying he definitely isn't interested, but there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to suggest either way.
In my experience, interpretations of interest from crushes are tainted by the person doing the crushing, mostly in favour of them.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
Do you want hurt me? You going make me feel bad again. I wish people could be supported. Sorry to say this, but it's true.
I'm just telling it to you how I see it. Would you prefer I lead you to believe that you're going to marry this guy when I can see there's still a reasonable chance he doesn't even see you romantically?
Would you prefer honesty, or do you want me to mystify everything I say to make you feel even more hopeful about a relationship that may well never even happen?
07 Feb 2016, 10:38 pm
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
rdos wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Kitty4670 wrote:
Last month, I been reading about crushes, guys & reading guy's body language (I'm not good at that) I also read about guys liking women & not liking them too. He is showing alot of signs that he is interested in me, like little stuff he does for me, going out of his way to do extra things for me (I think I said it right) he waved at me & said something when I was in line, I didn't know he was talking to me, I was looking around seeing who he was waving & talking to, this was in October or November.
From what you've said, it doesn't seem to me that he's really done anything to hint interest. Everything you described could be chalked down to friendliness.
It's possible that he's into you, but I wouldn't be resting my laurels on it if I were you.
I wouldn't be able to know if he really is interested or not without observing the two of them, but I wouldn't be so dismissive. At least, I can identify very well with how she operates, and I would never pass on such a possibility, and I'm rarely wrong about interest. I'd say if it feels right, then it probably is too.
I'm not saying he definitely isn't interested, but there doesn't seem to be enough evidence to suggest either way.
In my experience, interpretations of interest from crushes are tainted by the person doing the crushing, mostly in favour of them.
I'm just saying she should have her guard up, because unrequited love is still a distinct possibility at this stage. And I know how much it can destroy you when you're too invested into someone.
Do you want hurt me? You going make me feel bad again. I wish people could be supported. Sorry to say this, but it's true.
I'm just telling it to you how I see it. Would you prefer I lead you to believe that you're going to marry this guy when I can see there's still a reasonable chance he doesn't even see you romantically?
Would you prefer honesty, or do you want me to mystify everything I say to make you feel even more hopeful about a relationship that may well never even happen?
I know there a 50-50 chance he's not. This is NOT my first crush! My first crush was when I was 8.
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