I want to leave

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I started a job as a product owner for a software company back at the start of January. I thought I was going to be analyzing requirements and helping to do reporting. It turns out this is a very social role and I am responsible for managing projects, defining areas to approach and defining what processes and materials are necessary for those efforts, and acting as the face of the company for certain features. I do not think I can pull any of that off, nor do I have an interest in doing so. My boss (the VP of prod management) is a former coworker, and kind of pulled strings to get me in the door.

I'm just now starting the diagnosis process for high functioning ASD, and want to quit or move to a part time role in order to focus on my mental health and becoming a functioning human being (I have a job in which I am successful but my personal life is in shambles in terms of adult self-maintenance things like doctors/dentists/hygeine/car registration/etc., a healthy balance of activities, social interaction/relationships, and my physical well-being). That said I am terrified of losing my health insurance when I quit, as I think it will interfere with my path, and of burning the bridge with my boss because he needs someone for the job and he helped me get it. Any tips on what to do or what kind of part time jobs I may be able to fulfill while keeping health benefits would be extremely helpful.

Ask your co-worker friend about options within the workplace. If you do leave employment, the federal COBRA Act of 1985 provides that you may continue your health insurance for up to 18 months if you are willing to pay for it (though the employer is no longer obligated to contribute to your insurance costs). I would advise using the COBRA provisions only if you believe that you are likely to find work within some months. It can be costly, especially when you have no income to pay it.

Is this a matrix organization? As in, you're all on teams and your job is to be responsible for the product, like pitch it and talk to people and whatnot, and then other people have other jobs in regard to the project. There are daily meetings and the work is scheduled in "iterations"? Lots of cr*p on a white board?

If so, see if you can be moved to the...it is the scrum master position? There should be a position on the team where a person follows up and makes sure all the "tasks" have been performed properly and there are no unforeseen issues popping up. Unforeseen issues are then scheduled in and the planning is adjusted. It's a very aspie friendly position.

By the way, I tried to write an undergraduate paper once about how matrix organizations caused unnecessary stress for workers on the autism spectrum because there is too much social time and not enough structure (or actual work being done).

I was able to show in the paper that there IS increased stress for everyone in matrix management and there IS increased wasted time. But no one has studied the effect they have on aspies. Most people, I assume the neurotypicals, enjoy the extra social time they get with matrices and consider all the meetings as downtime.

Have you told your boss about your problems?