Did she show a prejudice attitude?

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Jamesy
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07 Feb 2016, 3:55 pm

Once I was talking to one of my parents friends. She was delighted about me having a job but when I mentioned about this girl I liked and wanted to get know the girl better she frowned at me and said something along roughly the lines of "well ok that's fine but be prepared to get rejected.



She is very much aware I have aspergers but do you think she showed a 'prejudiced' attitude towards me in regards to me getting into romantic relationships?



Fnord
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07 Feb 2016, 4:18 pm

No. She showed concern for you by giving you a warning.

"Prepare for rejection" is good advice for anyone.


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07 Feb 2016, 8:40 pm

It's hard to say, but I really don't think that they would've meant that in any kind of end all fashion. I think what they were really saying was to be careful, just in case you do happen to get rejected.


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slenkar
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07 Feb 2016, 10:59 pm

The impression I got is that she thinks you are a nerd or something,

If you do get rejected you will have to gain more life experience and confidence which will come in time



Jamesy
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08 Feb 2016, 6:06 am

slenkar wrote:
The impression I got is that she thinks you are a nerd or something,

If you do get rejected you will have to gain more life experience and confidence which will come in time



What's being a nerd got to do with it?



Hopper
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08 Feb 2016, 6:50 am

There's not much to go on here, to put it in context. Do you recall precisely, rather than 'roughly', what she said?

It could be friendly advice, like 'be prepared she might reject you'. Or it could be dismissive like 'yeah right, she'll obviously reject you'. From what you say about her being delighted at your having a job, I'd assume it was friendly advice.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Feb 2016, 8:13 am

You don't have to take that advice. Just try to talk to the girl, get to know her a little bit.

Maybe she might LIKE nerds (if you're a nerd--I don't know if you are one, actually).



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08 Feb 2016, 11:59 am

I don't know sounds kind of like maybe she has a rather bitter view about relationships, and doesn't want to see someone get their hopes up and be disappointed. Doesn't really seem like she was trying to imply you specifically don't have a chance.


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slenkar
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08 Feb 2016, 12:44 pm

Because she frowned igot the impression it may have been negative,everyone else in this thread disagrees so I could be wrong :)



slw1990
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08 Feb 2016, 5:02 pm

I thought it sounded kind of harsh. The frown sounds like disapproval to me and when she said that you should prepare to get rejected it sounded like she assumed you will get rejected instead of just telling you not to expect much.



Last edited by slw1990 on 08 Feb 2016, 7:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

yellowtamarin
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08 Feb 2016, 6:34 pm

It's also possible she was reacting to the way you were expressing yourself about it. If, for example, you seemed overly enthusiastic about a girl you barely know, she may have been reacting to that and thinking you are likely to be disappointed if you go in too strong.

There's really no way of knowing quite what she meant without hearing and seeing the specifics of the interaction.

You ask a lot of questions of us that would be better directed towards the people in question. Why did you not ask this woman "why's that?" or "what do you mean by that?" or something along those lines? They are better equipped to clarify these things than we are.