CAN NT's really look at people and tell what their feeling?

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hollowmoon
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15 Feb 2016, 6:42 pm

For example, can they just look at someone walking around and easily tell what their feeling?
I had a realization this may be happening, and its pretty scary I can't do this. Can they actually do this? If a complete stranger walks by they can tell what this person is feeling???



kraftiekortie
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15 Feb 2016, 6:48 pm

Sometimes.

If a person is slumped over, and has a sad expression, I would think that person is sad or in pain.

If a person has a spring in her step, and is smiling, I would strongly suspect that she is happy.

Sometimes, I can tell; other times, I cannot.

I've gotten better at it as I've gotten older. I'm not always right, though.



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15 Feb 2016, 6:51 pm

More often, I believe, what is happening is they think they can tell, and they are usually right (or never get the chance to confirm it*). They are usually right because they present themselves in similar ways to one another, and they are more likely to be obersving another NT than an aspie (because there are more of them).

*or this might be more often the case.



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15 Feb 2016, 7:10 pm

My experience tells me that most people can determine superficial feelings in others with a fair degree of accuracy, most of the time. However, what happens to me even more often is that someone will assume to know what I'm feeling, and then interrogate me as to why I'm feeling that way.

For instance, they will ask me repeatedly if I am angry. With each query, I get progressively more angry at them. Eventually, I will tell them to knock it off. Then they will declare that they were right all along.

But when they ask me why I am angry, they refuse to believe that it's because of their stupid nagging, and insist that there must be some other reason.

Whether NT or Aspie, I have no idea. I just wish they would leave me alone.


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Joe90
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15 Feb 2016, 7:13 pm

Strangers can tell how I'm feeling just by walking past me. When my mum was in hospital last week and I hadn't found out why yet, I was walking around the shops feeling really worried, and I knew my face had a worried expression, and I felt everybody who walked by gawk at me. I was avoiding eye contact, but I could see their inconsiderate, judgemental gazes towards me as they walked by.


Not everybody is feeling such an obvious emotion every second of the day, and even if they are, some know how to hide it and just look neutral.


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aikitsune
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15 Feb 2016, 7:21 pm

I tend to think like yellowtamarin on this. I think they're more likely to be correct about other NT's body language/ facial expression because it tends to mirror their own presentation and experience. They can be wrong and often don't get direct feedback about it, but they still have an intuitive feel for what these things mean. But these same people may misread Aspies, especially if they don't really know them well, because Aspies do not necessarily manifest their feelings in quite the same way. In this regard, it seems like NTs may do a lot of assuming regarding these things, but these assumptions don't hold with some people well, such as those on the spectrum.

If I register facial expression at all, I only register it as what it is. A smile is a smile. A smile does not necessarily mean "happy," I've learned. A smile can be fake or forced, and even if it is genuinely "happy," I could never hope to identify the reason for it by just looking at the person wearing it. Happiness may be a safe assumption, but I still don't know what to do with that information, even if it's correct, and if I try to utilize it, I do something that probably looks as awkward to others as it feels for me, if not more. So I tend not to make assumptions of that kind. Basically, I think NTs are more likely to feel they know how someone else is feeling and they are more likely to actually be right on an intuitive level; comparatively, I can put in ten times the effort on these things and never reach a third of their competency.

And Fnord, that also happens to me. Most people close to me learn not to rely on the same superficial signals they use for others, but certain people simply don't learn. These people, in my experience, also overwhelmingly want to make it about themselves, asking why I'm angry at them, wondering what they've done to upset me, etc. No amount of telling them that nothing is wrong will stop them, and then I really do become upset and they claim they were right. :roll: No matter how clearly I indicate that this is just my natural facial expression, the pattern keeps repeating.


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ZombieBrideXD
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15 Feb 2016, 7:48 pm

according to my sources yes they do-but its a subconscious mental process. They use empathy as a tool.

To me it all seems fake, Facial expressions and body language doesn't seem like a real concept.


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AJisHere
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15 Feb 2016, 8:45 pm

Kind of. Obviously nobody can know what another person is feeling, but NTs are more easily able to pick up cues that provide information on it. That allows a more accurate guess.


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Marybird
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15 Feb 2016, 9:38 pm

They are in tune to people. they have been since birth, Looking into people's eyes and studying their expressions and laughing with them. Think of it as a graceful dance like a tango where two people are totally in sync with each other, spontaneously and effortlessly.
I notice people relating to each other this way now but I didn't pay attention to it or acknowledge it when I was younger. I was blind to it and didn't know how to act and still don't and I can't.



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15 Feb 2016, 11:02 pm

ZombieBrideXD wrote:
according to my sources yes they do-but its a subconscious mental process. They use empathy as a tool.

To me it all seems fake, Facial expressions and body language doesn't seem like a real concept.

Hahahaha.

I liken it to a computer program right- for example, a facial recognition software is able to deftly and accurately pick out the facial parameters it has been pre-programmed to pick out. NTs as they grow up (very very f*****g quickly) get programmed by watching and reacting to other NTs in their culture and environment.
(also important note: NTs can't usually without extensive training read other NTs from a different culture "it's all greek to me" kind of phenomenon because the rules and social norms change depending on where you are)
It's like being psychic.... after a while- the pattern recognition for NT interaction and involvement get very refined so it is all second nature. However this process of learning can take a while and different age groups are expected to know different sets of skills. Kind of like when you level up a character in a game and grow. Social interaction is similar.
Ultimately it's just pattern recognition.
Very interesting stuff actually.

Sometimes very VERY rarely I will actually be able to follow a social interaction as well as an NT- this only happens every couple of years and each time it feels like magic!! 8)
I can never seem to replicate this phenomenon of my own accord....
But it is super magical and I am amazed... each time. It only usually lasts a few fleeting moments... so ephemeral :huh:
Sometimes I think of it like one big socialized NT matrix of common language and understanding... and Aspie just don't get plugged into the matrix, or maybe they are plugged in but turned off. And I think sometimes mine blinks to life briefly then dies spectacularly. :(



Unfortunate_Aspie_
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15 Feb 2016, 11:10 pm

aikitsune wrote:
If I register facial expression at all, I only register it as what it is. A smile is a smile. A smile does not necessarily mean "happy," I've learned. A smile can be fake or forced, and even if it is genuinely "happy," I could never hope to identify the reason for it by just looking at the person wearing it. Happiness may be a safe assumption, but I still don't know what to do with that information,
And Fnord, that also happens to me. Most people close to me learn not to rely on the same superficial signals they use for others, but certain people simply don't learn. No matter how clearly I indicate that this is just my natural facial expression, the pattern keeps repeating.

^^^^^ This. So much and so often :( :( :(



Yigeren
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15 Feb 2016, 11:12 pm

It depends on whether the other person's presentation is accurately representative of their true feelings.

A person can act differently from how he or she feels. Body language and facial expressions can be consciously altered. And some people may have atypical facial expressions or body language which may give false impressions.

I can read facial expressions very well, if I bother to look at a person's face. I can read body language fairly well, I guess. I probably miss some things. I'm guessing that actual NTs can do the same or better, but they are only able to judge what the other person is willing to show about themselves.