Does you anyone feel normal people get more things?

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The OP asked;

I responded to the bit in bold because the equivalent of the question coming from an NT, "does anyone feel disabled people/aspies(/two toed sloths/chipmunks) get more things?", would have been no more palatable to me than the above question... And i would have challenged the inference made by the question.

In my precis'd response from earlier;



I made it clear I was talking specifically about HFAs. I then went on to say;



My line in bold is what appears to be causing problems, causing some to feel I'm likening HFAs challenges to NTs. Take it in context tho. I'm actually saying everyone has challenges, tho they're distinct to the relevant groups (NT or HFAs and as said in a later post) because as I've maintained from the beginning, I don't believe anyone's suffering is greater or lesser than anyone else's.
This is not only because I strongly believe in equity for all, but, because a set of circumstances led to my also having mental health issues. More irony, anyone?

I was a mature student social worker in Glasgow, wanting to specialise in mental health (if anyone's looking for yet another bit of irony) and I got the call that meant I had to transfer back to England because my mother's health had rapidly declined.

Anyway, she died. I fell apart. I have a chemical imbalance. I should be medicated and be having counselling. Less than a year later my father is going thru a battery of tests for cancer.

But I'm only an NT so my suffering cannot possibly be on a par according to some of the attitudes/posts on here.
Yet for me it was HUGE. My life stopped. I was on the verge of my dream career and now I'm a failure.
Granted I wasn't born like it. Granted I'll hopefully get better. Doesn't change that I'm suffering tho. My challenges may not be your challenges but are they any less valid? Doesn't mean I'm saying you don't have challenges either, mind. Yet that's how some have read it.

Startrekker, thank you for your excellent posts. I mostly agree with you.



But I'd still say they should try and go as far as they can get... The alternative is to not try at all, I'd suggest? If that's right, then surely it's better to keep at it?
Yes, discrimination exists. Functional limitations exist. And i'm not suggesting work hard and you will be rewarded because that is indeed, wishful thinking. As Idealist points out there are no guarantees but the alternative doesn't sound great either (to me)

My father is a retired orthopaedic surgeon. He was at the top of his game. He would have made it 30 years sooner, according to him, had he been white.
Functionally he was fine but his form was his handicap. Everyone has something holding them back, to reiterate my earlier points.
Yet he never once thought of quitting, going back to India, or feeling resentment. He just played the hand he was dealt.

ZombieBride thank you for your post also;



I don't have autism but I can relate to the discrimination you're talking about regards ethnicity.
My ethnicity is something I was born with and can never change. Nor would I want to. It makes me 'me'.

I'm of indian origin (born in India) and I've been judged most of my life. Sometimes overtly, sometimes unconsciously, sometimes thru 'positive discrimination' *pfft*
The last gem, just a few months ago, was when I was asked by a white woman, "Do. You. Speak. English?"
Yep, she spoke very very slowly and LOUDLY and enunciated very very carefully.
I speak and write more eloquently than many a native (not arrogance, just fact) but my skin colour had done the talking before I could open my mouth.

Another occasion was on placement during my degree. I and a colleague went to this facility. She was white Scots. I was from England, of Indian origin and an old fart.
The reception she got was warm. Mine was cold. They made her life easy, mine hard. Not just residents but staff, too.
I had to work doubly hard and by the time we left, the manager herself came to do my one - to - one (a high honour apparently) and in our meeting offered me a job after I qualified. Did I resent my colleague for having an easier time of it? Nope.
Was it due to my being indian and from England (Scots aren't keen on the sassenachs)? Yep, cos I overheard comments.
Life however isn't fair. I just worked harder to prove myself.

Everyone has their cross to bear. It's childish to say my cross is bigger n heavier than yours. And that was the only point I've been trying to make. Discrimination can go both ways. Life can be tough and unfair.
But if you get some perspective to quote Idealist, you will see it could both have been better OR worse.

This is the longest post I've ever made anywhere . Not doing it again. Tiring too. Especially on a phone. Dunno if I got thru but, I'm done.

Hello Boofle,
I'm very much for seeing people as individuals and against the group think, us vs them, AS vs NT, so I understand where you are coming from.

If you take two individuals with identical backgrounds, intelligence, ethnicity, financial, locality, whatever.......the one who is autistic will struggle with making decisions, forming relationships, achieving academic results, managing finances, success at work......compared to the NT person. That is why it is classified as a disability.

There are many here who have been told that if they just get over themselves, stop being lazy, make a bit more effort, etc... then all of the above will no longer exist. It just doesn't work that way.

Yes, life is generally hard work for most people, but it's important to recognise that life and death is different for those on this spectrum.

Please don't edit peoples posts with a FTFY, I know it's common on forums but it often comes across as sarcastic and is not well appreciated here. If you knew Androbot a little better, you would know that the last thing you could accuse her of is being a defeatist.

None of us are perfect. Welcome to the Wrong Planet.

Idealist, I have to disagree with the one of your points, sorry. Support in the UK for HFA adults varies massively by area. So some receive good support while others receive little to none.

Thanks for your post, neilson_wheels. I'm still learning and I appreciate your taking the time

I just wanted to ask, what's FTFY pls? It sounds painful

Fixed That For You.

Understood! My bad cos I wasn't aiming for sarcasm and my apologies to androbots for my gaffe.

Thanks for the headsup, neilson_wheels

You're welcome, you can call me NW, efficiency is everything.

*phew* couldn't agree more

Thank you NW, it's tedious enough on my fone without extra work.

Thanks NW!

I don't like the FTFY because it degrades the original text and can lead to confusion about who said what. But no worries, boofle.

Actually you still have yet to prove NTs have "unique" problems, being "typical" tends to make things much less unique. You're right NT's have problems, we all have problems-- these are not "unique", it's just life and everyone whether NT or not faces a variation of the same problems. What the autistics on this board are talking about are the actual "unique" problems that ONLY come with a form of disability.

I mean what, you think because I've got a "mental disorder" I get by without paying rent and taxes or something, like there's some government program to eliminate all a person's problems aside from their disability? Hate to burst the bubble, but I still get to deal with all the sh***y everyday life problems everyone else does, but I also get to deal with the sensory issues of autism too. And ya know what, I can deal with life's problems, hell I can even deal with autism problems, but what I can't deal with is people who have absolutely no experience with autism telling me that autistic symptoms don't have a measurable effect on my life's outcome.

What's the old saying: Don't let your disability define you. That's great, now let's add the real world addendum to that statement: Instead let other people define you by your disability. A single misstep in social interaction when you're hiding a social disorder is a mark, one people will dig at and dig at and dig at-- it doesn't matter what other qualities you show, the one social flaw will always stick out and always be noted. Or you could take the open and honest approach, which is actually worse because the animal instincts in people will sense weakness and treat you in kind. People do like the honest approach, but what they don't like doing is accepting that autism is merely a difference and not some sort of inferiority that needs to be stamped out and ridiculed.

Furthermore, this idea that people are "accepting" of difference is merely a rhetorical crock of s**t to make the masses feel good about themselves. The very nature of societies is woven in capitalism, basically economy by jungle law, which means people's core drive isn't in helping other people but actually in eliminating competition. Why would an NT give a s**t about an autistic person? I mean if you're a hiring manager then you're firmly in the middle of the pack, safe and secure, why take any risk on something you don't understand like an autistic person? The worst that's gonna happen is that autistic person (not just autistic, but anyone that's "other" really) is gonna die off and then there's more resources for the rest of us: that's firmly entrenched in the human subconscious , of course one doesn't openly say such a thing, but if you watch most people's ACTIONS they clearly demonstrate that line of thought.

I know NOT ONE ADULT who doesn't have difficulty in one form or another.
They may have personal difficulties due to autism or a mood disorder or a significant illness or physical problem.
They may have a child with one of those.
They may be a single parent or a military spouse.
Or a combination of all!
Etc.

It is impossible to compare one's life to another person's. We all have to assess what we are given by life. Then we have to make the best of it. What can one achieve? Who knows? No one knows. All we can do is try our darndest to develop what we have and see how far we can get.

People fail as much (or more) than they succeed... We just never really talk about that. Successful people keep on trying. Success is not about what is achieved, but about moving forward. Did I make progress? Success!