Why do people on this forum always side with women?

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Since we seem to have drifted into suggestions for Sly, I vote that he learn to do something social, like shooting pool or throwing darts, and start doing it at the local bar. This pretty much forces you to talk to people, and some of those people will be women. I'm not even talking about trying to pick anyone up or anything, in fact I'd actively recommend against that, just play the game and chat with whoever you happen to meet.

I don't really choose sides, certainly not one based on gender. Instead, I usually analyze the situation thoroughly, and then attempt to rationalize it as best I can before proceeding. If not, then I'll probably hold off on posting until other Members have put forward their insight.

I think there are a large number of factors in play that prevent me from rushing to the defense of every women that might seemingly be in distress. And shockingly, I'm not going to go over them.

Yes, very true. Based on posts throughout the forum, I think he is. But he says he's not, so i have to go with that.
However, if he or anyone were, i also agree that i too have no idea which of the med and non-med treatments would help. I only know of studied and anecdotal options and what has and (mostly) hasn't worked for me..but what will work for another..it's all a trial.

To be clear, i don't find sly annoying. I posted why i may get frustrated and it has zero to do with finding him annoying, nor not taking my advice. If i just found them annoying, i wouldn't care enough to remotely feel frustrated.

My point of context was simply that i don't think anything said was done with malicious intent (i.e. bullying/abusive/attack). You may be correct that what was said/how it was said is more harmful than not. Or it may not be as different people respond to different things in different ways. Ultimately though, i brought it up just that i don't think so many people here are defending bullying as, i know my intention and what i have read historically from wilbur, and what all she ended up saying, no matter how it came out or why, i really don't think her intention was that either.

I second the vote for sly doing something social - I vote for join a team at his local gun club.

Absolutely.

Men often hear that they need to be "more confident," but I think it would be better if certain men just practiced their social skills and to learned to become more relaxed around other people.

Its simple, life is not fair, society lives in the illusion that only women are good and all men are bad guys, regardless of the nasty heartless women that even other women see as mean, cold and heartless. Its just the way it is, until society makes a change that is always how things will be.

Scotland is fairly equal in it's gender views, so don't lump us into your unique worldview.

I don't really want to talk about this anymore. It looked like an attack from my perspective and I reacted badly. I'm okay with you, but I don't know if I'll ever get along with wilburforce.

I think, from what I can conjecture, is that wilburforce overcame her difficulties in a manner that she feels she is satisfied with and has come to the conclusion that others who have not yet bypassed their difficulties are either lacking in willpower or psychological strength.

They don't side with women--it's just an illusion.

You may be right on my use of the word confidence, but i have a reason for pushing it. I'm a believer in uncanny valley theory applying to humans. I think most autistics that are "passing" are also probably slightly off from "normal", just enough to tease an NT instinct that something's not quite right-- like deja vu, or "vibes". That's why most autistics have problems honing down specific problems in interaction and NT's can't really tell you what's wrong if they're trying to be helpful-- they don't even know why they feel that way. The reason I'm big on confidence is that if you give people a sense you're secure in yourself, it helps ease some of that uncanny valley tension in them.

That's why i view it as "presentation" and not a personality change, it really is just a few alterations. I mean confidence gives the sense you know what's going on, but let's face it, a meteor could hit you tonight and all the confidence in the world wouldn't stop it. It is a completely illogical thing I myself don't actually "feel", but i can play it and it does make interaction much easier. It's just what people expect and if you want to do well with people, you give them what they want.

I agree that hyper-analyzing is prone to disaster. But -a bit- of an act, can make sense. Kind of like when you go in for a job interview, you don't want them to see just how anxious you are, but try to present some sense that you can do the job.

I have a theory about people in general, that seems even more prevalent when dating. It goes along with the vibe thing.
Basically, two parts:

1. People believe whatever they pick up on. If they sense a basic level of confidence, they believe there must be a reason for it - i.e. this person has some "value", get to know them more. If they sense zero confidence/severe self-deprecation, they believe there must be a reason for it - i.e. cut the conversation short and do Not date them. This whole thing seems more striking when it comes to a potential date versus just a potential friend. In some ways, i think dating brings out an inner predator that seeks the strong and stomps the weak.

I think this is why 'social engineers', sociopaths, and horribly arrogant people who are actually complete buttheads, get dates.

2. These things easily self-perpetuate. For instance, if we act with just a bit of confidence, we're more likely to get a positive response and with that response, more likely to actually feel that bit..and the interaction cycles in a good way. Which carries over into future conversations. Whereas, if we feel horrible anxious about interacting, they pick up on it and act a bit odd, we pick up on that and feel even more self-conscious and down it goes. Followed by the next conversation where we may feel even more awkward than the last.

Adding to that though is the 'something's weird about that person'. Which, unless it's weird as in makes the hair on your neck stand , i think that sense can be overridden when the person appears happy with themselves (=they're weird, but they're okay) and when not = they're weird and really cut the conversation short.

This of course is all theoretical and put into practice..not quite so easy. But i think if there is a way to find or portray that smidge of confidence - even via a suggestion like dox's of playing darts, i think over time it can really pay off.

I hate captcha!! !! !

Its a good thing you don't live in the United states then.

There are some men who will ALWAYS side with women. I have a method for guys like that. I tell them to stop trying to get into a girls pants by pretending to be on their side. A man who calls himself a feminist makes me cringe.

I believe in true equality and there are a lot of women who undermine that for other women and themselves. Some have no interest in stepping up and relinquishing their unrealistic expectations of men. They want us to be the gentleman and talk to them in a more considered kind of way. No.... if someone is meant to be treated as an equal I am not going to sugar coat my opinions and verbal expression because of their gender.

As I believe in real equality I am not universally popular with women, nor am I trying be. I don't want to attract ****holes.

They don't.

The real question is why do you believe something that is so obviously false? The main person that would benefit from the answer is you. I do wish you luck with it.

In quantum theory, the result of a given action in reality is often consecrated in the observer alone.