Does anyone else have mostly neurodiverse friends?

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mikeman7918
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29 Mar 2016, 1:03 am

I've noticed that most of my good friends all seem to be people who have a few screws loose and have trouble being social like me. They are not nesesarily autistic, but they are all definitely not neurotipical. Here is a quick description of my 3 closest friends (in no particular order):

Friend #1:
This person goes to my school and I talk to him almost every day. We hang out every once in a while and we talk a lot. He has a small circle of friends that he talks to sometimes, but he mostly just hangs out with me. He seems to have quite a lot of autistic traits like occasionally vocalizing his thoughts, being obsessive, having a bit of trouble with language processing, pacing around a lot, and having a bit of trouble being social, and we have talked a bit about the posibility of him being autistic like me. We generally can ignore many of the complex social rules when we talk to each other and that's quite nice, although we both suck at starting conversations so when we are together we sometimes just stay silent for a while.

Friend #2:
This person is a serious introvert, we met and became friends when we were very young because his mom and my mom are good friends. A few years ago he moved to another state and he only comes down to visit his grandparents here once a year so we mostly keep in touch via texting and of course we spend as much time together as we can when he is here. I am still one of his only friends because he is home schooled and pretty bad at being social. He also has a very odd sense of humour like me. I don't really think he has autism, although it is a posibility.

Friend #3:
My friendship with this person is a long distance one. He lives over in Europe and we have never met in real life. I keep in touch with him over Skype, and we often play games multiplayer because it's the closest we can get to hanging out. He shares almost all of my interests and our conversations are often very interesting. He has quite a few autistic traits like obsesiveness, probelems being social, having a very intricate imaginary world, and a quite eccentric personality. I initially thought that he might be autistic but he hs no probelems with language processing as far as I can tell because he seems to be able to process language better and faster then I can and that's really saying someting because English is his second language. He definitely is a very strange person though, and I can almost guerentee that he has a phychological disorder of some sort.

I seem to be able to get along with and connect with people like this more easily then I can with neurotipicals. I didn't specificly pick strange people like this to be friends with, it just kind of happened. It's nice because I can let my guard down a bit around them, they are generally very understanding about my strange autistic behavior. Is this a common thing among people with autism?


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Riik
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29 Mar 2016, 1:24 am

I do seem to attract people with some form of mental health or neurological issue more often than not. Normally, when a neurotypical person tries to befriend me, they seem to get bored of me and stop... happened in more extreme ways in school, but peer pressure was also a factor there - getting seen socialising with the freak was bad for reputation.

I have had friends who are closer to the neurotypical line who I've kept for a while, but I think that can be balanced out by the other side.

For instance, in primary school, my first real school friends included someone who I believe (if I remember correctly) had a brain tumor removed at birth and consequently had relatively minor learning difficulties (iirc, it was mostly academic, as in a social situaiton he was quite smart and generally a nice guy... unfortunately he had more than just mental issues and last time I saw him he was confined to a wheelchair); and someone who looking back had what actually might well be an autism spectrum disorder himself (to a more outwardly noticable extent than me as well). Then I met a girl whose parents were at odds with each other and she knew way too much about sex for a pre-teen at the time. I wouldn't say she was hugely weird by nature, but I think her younger brother had ADHD and I wasn't exactly a normalising influence myself. Outside those, I have made a couple of friends closer to the neurotypical mark; one from nursery school who I'd even go to call my first proper friend, and two who lived a couple houses down, though even then one of them had been held back a year at school.

I didn't really make any long-term friends in secondary school. Toward the end, I was in friendly relationships with some class mates, but it never really went beyond the school walls. The first of this group to open up to me was a maths genius (I believe he completed his maths GCSE whilst he was still in primary school or something), and the rest sort of followed suit from there.

The internet was far more interesting though... the first friend who stuck had Asperger's Syndrome, who through a guy with ADHD (who also became a friend) introduced me to a furry (the dragon variety). After that, I met someone whose brother has Asperger's Syndrome, got involved in his online friend group, then met someone elsewhere with mental security issues (that person then fell in love with me, and we now have this awkward one-way relationship thing that idk how to deal with XD). After that, the next long-term friend seemed relatively normal, but had to see a counsellor over issues with depression (I think). Then I accumulated somewhat of a stalker who claims to have Asperger's Syndrome (not sure if he's telling the truth or just saying it to get me to like him the way he likes me). Then I made a friend who is interested in nudist culture and has a weird non-sexual fondness of penises (don't ask, it's a long story XD). The latest friend I've made has big depression issues and a repressive family.

Out of all those friends, I believe only the last one was someone I actually sought out befriending myself. The rest came to me for friendship. So I guess I just attract people with mental issues XD.


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Joe90
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29 Mar 2016, 4:36 am

Friend 1
Has Fragile-X, although not autistic she does have difficulty making friends and finding jobs. She is rather lonely and I'm basically her only friend.

Friend 2
Not sure if she's NT or not. She's rather eccentric, disorganized, nervous and rather reserved. She's very different from her brothers and sister.

Friend 3
I don't know if she has AS or not. She's rather chatty to people and motivated with work, but at the same time she struggles socially, and has a special interest with that Japanese anime stuff. She said she has a diagnosis but doesn't want to say what it is.

Friend 4
Autistic.

Friend 5
Bipolar and socially awkward.

Friend 6
Struggles socially and low IQ. She's my colleague.

Boyfriend
Neurotypical.


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kraftiekortie
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29 Mar 2016, 7:56 am

Most of my friends are eccentric in some ways, "nerdy" in some ways.

Perhaps within the Broad Autism Phenotype, but not diagnosable with autism.

I've attracted people with psychological issues in the past.

As a child, one of my friend's brothers was severely autistic (no language skills, no social skills, toilet-trained, though).



TheSilentOne
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29 Mar 2016, 1:44 pm

I only have a couple of friends and none of them are on the spectrum (as far as I know). They all are very accepting of differences though and all of them have struggled with anxiety and/or depression at some point in their lives.


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Brittniejoy1983
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29 Mar 2016, 5:02 pm

I find myself having more friends than ever at this point. Except for two lifelong friends that have known me since Kindergarten and 2nd grade, they are all either on the spectrum themselves, or have children or a spouse who is. Which, I think, makes it easier for them to deal with me violating social niceties when I do. The one who isn't, she is a big help to me and we run the parenting group I lead together. She is quick to ask me what I'm talking about or just tell me if something doesn't matter or if I'm getting stuck on something. In other words, she is good at being direct.
But I have been careful as we add new volunteers to make sure that they are people who will fit in with eccentric me and the rest of us.


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