Do you hate asking someone over to your house?

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Yeah.

I never invite people back to my flat because I simply don't like people coming here.

I never had a choice when I was younger because I lived with a paranoid, emotionally abusive and manipulative pensioner who was convinced I'd get attacked or kidnapped if I went further than next door by myself (except it was usually me doing the attacking - I started a lot of fist-fights when I was younger), who would also try to convince me that I'd be to blame if she suddenly took ill and needed an ambulance - for perspective, in fifteen years of living with her, she never once needed an ambulance calling and never bothered to call one for me when I fell down the stairs while I was sleepwalking.

I had to invite "friends" round, I wasn't allowed to go to their houses - these days, I'd much rather go to their houses than have them come to mine. I don't ask people round. My flat is sort of tidy but also sort of a mess, and when I have invited people round, I've felt a compulsion to clean beforehand, and I hate cleaning and tidying.

That said, I don't have any close friends at the moment because I'm not particularly interested in having them - I have acquaintances that I see maybe two or three times a year. People irritate me, nice people irritate me because I always think they're after something - even when they might genuinely be nice people.

If I truly want to be social, I'll go to the pub or go for coffee or do something that doesn't wind up with me having to ask people to leave - all I have to say is that I need to go home or something along those lines.

I don't like people coming round - I spent an entire childhood wanting to avoid random people coming to my house. My mum has a friend from when she used to go to college who sometimes comes around, but she only ever stays an hour or two, and mum doesn't encourage her to come round, she'd much rather go to her house.

I had a sleepover when I was in college; a couple of "friends" came round for the night, but I never did it after the first time. I didn't enjoy playing hostess.

Given the choice, I'd live in a bubble where friendship simply didn't exist. You'd have people who you liked, but there wouldn't be the expectation of going round to people's houses.

And don't get me started on people who invite themselves...

I hate having people in my space.

People who invite themselves are indeed the devil.

I don't ask this.

I feel too much pressure when I have guests at my house.
I like to know how long they will stay, exactly, so I can plan accordingly and that's one thing that people don't seem to like being asked.
I'm becoming extremely anti-social though, it's just easier. Too much anxiety otherwise.

I hardly ask anyone to come over to my place, nor ask anyone out. I usually get invited or so. All are for no apparent reason, or maybe I just got rusty over it.

I very seldom have anyone at my house because they very seldom ask if they can come over. Although I did read somewhere that most adults in this part of the world think they should only visit someone if they're asked. But I really don't want to ask them over because I am in my apartment so much that I would much rather go out somewhere with them.

The only people who invite me to their house now are my parents, usually on holidays.

Yes I do. I didn't like when friends came over too much. But I think it was cause they are interrupting the things I want to do. If they want to do the things I am doing right now that's fine. But even then I still didn't like to have my friends come or too much. Or even go over to there house for that matter.

To be honest, I would probably invite people over to my house (to be polite/friendly) if I weren't embarrassed of the condition it's in. It's badly in need of renovation and looks terrible even though I'm neat. I also live with some not-so-neat people.

Rant:

Being poor is to me an embarrassment. I live in an area where most people are fairly well-off. And many are snobbish. I get bad treatment because snobbish people make assumptions about my "class" because I have no money. To them poor = low-class behavior and attitudes.

I was raised in an upper-middle class family. Most of my relatives have college degrees, and many have master's degrees as well. Most of my relatives are fairly well-off, and many are wealthy. But people seem to assume that I'm some "white trash" woman coming from a long line of uneducated, lazy, drug-addicted morons living off the government.

I am not a drug addict, an alcoholic, lazy, rude, ignorant, or stupid, am not involved in criminal activities, and I do not lack morals. I also eat healthy foods, exercise, clean my teeth, take care of my child, and don't wish to live off the government for the rest of my life. But those are the stereotypes of poor people that I have to deal with.

Anyway, in the best-case scenario, which would be my having a nice home and respectable job, I would still not want people over. I get nervous when people are in my house, or near my things, and I am terrible at entertaining guests. I have only a small bit of tolerance for social situations, and I would have to be responsible for tactfully trying to get guests to leave when I was done and ready for them to go. Telling people to "Go home," is generally seen as rude. And yes, I have had guests who can't take a hint and stay entirely too long, which makes me very anxious.

But I'd still invite people over to be polite, and to not be seen as unfriendly.

I only like having very close friends and family over, if I've had enough time to clean the house well. They can't just turn up unannounced, that would send me over the edge haha.

Other than that, I feel like anyone in my house is an intruder. When people knock on the door, unless I know it's the postman I won't answer. Even when the neighbour is knocking repeatedly, I just ignore it, I can't stand it.

Today I had 2 loads of people over - one lot to fix the boiler, the other to do a gas safety check. I guess it's good that they were both on the same day as I get really anxious about these visits. This is my safe space and I want them to sod off. I feel like they will think I'm a complete weirdo. I always feel like I have to offer them a drink out of politeness. But then end up having a conversation about how I don't have normal tea just herbals and I have coffee but only rice or macadamia nut milk. These workmen look at me like I'm mental and I wish I never asked lol.

Today I forgot to clean the toilet or take down my affirmations that I've got stuck in the bathroom and my enema bag was visible even though I put it in the cupboard, so that sent me into a panic.

I sometimes think it would be better if I weren't here but then I'd be paranoid they'd be looking through my stuff or would leave the door open so my cat could kill my disabled rabbit.

How do other people deal with these sort of people in the house?

Yes, because I feel like they are going to judge me. Or find some reason to say I'm weird. Plus they may want to make a habit of it... I think that is the main issue for me. Once you invite somebody over, you open the door both literally and figuratively. To add to what others said, I have things that need to be fixed in my apartment, but I'd rather fix it myself and spend a little money than have the maintenance man in my place.

Hate is too strong a word. I don't like to invite people over but occasionally will do. Anyway they hardly show up or make up excuses. There's this best friend who comes to stay for the weekend but he lives in another town, so it doesn't happen all the time.

I like to be notified in advance anyway. Annoys me to no end when people simply pop up on short notice. If they change their minds it's even worse, this is when I would use the "hate" word. Plus they seem to change their minds way too often.

I'm caring every time less when someone says is coming. I sketch a "Plan B" just in case they change their minds, some place to go or something to do. Luckily they never popped up when I was in the middle of something important but if that ever happens I will have to be strong and tell them to come in a more convenient date. They don't really care so why should I, eh?