Women always play mind games with me?

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OK, now that you mentioned the word "friendzone" it's clear what your problem is.....I see 2 scenarios unfolding that have the outcome that you complain about:


1) These women are flirting with you. Even if you make the first move and initiate it, they are flattered by the attention. Some women are not squeamish about groping or being touched/fondled by men they are flirting with...to a POINT. Because eventually they realize that you're anticipating they will actually have sexual intercourse with you and the are NOT interested in going that far. Some might even find you attractive physically, but clearly not enough to sleep with you or date you which is why they "friendzone" you.

2) You are deliberately trying to be a *pick-up artist* but clearly you're doing it wrong. Some might very well be attracted to you in return, and others might be the flirty type who are initially beguiled by your moves and good looks, but when they pick up on what you really want from them they are turned off because they do not want a hookup(or at least not with you). So they make excuses to be on their way.



Many women enjoy sexual attention from men they're not mutually attracted to from time to time but if and when the guy gets carried away and thinks he's gonna get laid with them they back out. When these gals said "I have to go" or "maybe next time" that's a polite way of setting boundaries. Honestly, if a hookup is what you want then try bars and dance clubs.....Or find online hookup dating sites.

You are confusing confidence and arrogance. Confidence is attractive, arrogance is a turn off.

It can be a fine line sometimes. Make sure you stay on the right side of it. Don't trip.

See what I posted above.

The online dating environment is a highly unnatural environment, and as such can give both possibilities and severe problems. I won't approach a girl I find attractive even if I know there is mutual interest, simply because I can't. I won't be able to do that until I know her a lot better through observation.



That's not my experience. I'd rather say those are highly accurate, and result in very good matches in relationships.



No argument about that. Getting to know somebody through observation is only for the pre-relationship phase.



That's probably because you think about NT-girl teasing. I don't enjoy mindgames such as pretended interest and alike. In fact, if a girl plays mindgames related to whether she is interested or not, then that is a big turn-off, and I won't continue to be interested in her. OTOH, if she is teasing me with her best friend, testing my intentions, dropping hints and things like that, then it's ok.

The whole real-life dating game seems VERY unnatural to me. Asking people out, going on "dates" and the whole courtship ritual is so formal and awkward it's just too stressful for me to bother with. In terms of offline dating, what feels natural to me is to meet someone as an acquaintance in an everyday setting, become friends with them, and have the friendship progress naturally into romance without either party actively initiating it. Online dating is more similar to that process except it happens electronically before it happens face to face. Seeing an online dating profile gives me an idea about who someone is before I meet them because I can *observer* their choice of words and how they use language. In fact, if I observe someone I fancy the next step is to listen in on their conversations with other people to hear the way they talk. THAT tells you much more about who they are then their appearance and gestures.



Also if you can accurately read body language and asses a person accurately by observation then I say you are quite unusual among autistic people. Many of us have "mind blindness" that makes it difficult for us to perceive nonverbal communication which is why many of us, including yours truly, prefer to rely primarily on spoken language when communicating with people. There are some autistic people who do not make use of spoken language at all. Some of them won't even talk to you if you speak to them first even though they understand what you are saying and to me the question is WHY........Because I am not like that and I do wonder about the cause of this difference and why some ND understand and use spoken language to communicate. Talking incessantly about interests mentioned in the DSM as common feature of Asperger Syndrome whereas people with classical Autism do not usually initiate verbal communication.

Agreed, but when I talk about real-life dating I don't mean the usual, neurotypical process. I mean the observation process that ends with talking and a relationship.



Sure, I understand the motivation behind why some NDs think online dating is such a good idea, and it probably works for some of them. Still, it fits very badly with the IRL observation process, so I anticipate those that have that process naturally typically won't be successful with online dating.



I see where you are coming from. The above is part of the reason why I don't think that is a good idea because I don't care if somebody is a great talker or not (and it's an NT trait). I care if they are empathic, persistent, creative, and smart, but not if they are good at expressing themselves verbally. I don't even care if they can talk or not. I'd be perfectly happy with a nonverbal autistic girl provided she had the mentioned qualities.



That's a misunderstanding. I'm not good at reading NT nonverbal communication. I'm good at reading ND nonverbal communication. I naturally know the function of many stims, and I know exactly how the ND eye contact behavior works between two people that fancy each others. That's all I need. For example, if you see a ND girl jumping up and down as she sees you, or makes a subtle wink with her hand, then you can be pretty sure she likes you.



Sure. That's a good tactic with acquaintances and other shallow social contacts, but it's not any good in the relationship area. It's also not needed because unlike social contacts which you might not be able to chose, you decide yourself whom you want a relationship with, and so you can select somebody compatible that you can understand naturally even without speaking.



I tend to understand nonverbal autistics naturally too. I've met some, and it always feels easy, natural and stress-free.

At least they show interest in you. Women just hate me

Bars and dance clubs and sometimes dating sites are where I meet a lot of women and these are the results I get lol.

A lot of women giggle at me, but I know it isn't always out of interest. I know some women giggle with each other because they are talking s**t.

Do women laugh or giggle a lot when you are around them?

The same giggling can mean they're attracted to you, it can mean they're mocking you, sometimes both at the same time!

^^^

No only ignore me or give me nasty looks for looking near them. I try to,look at floor,whenever a woman is coming now.

I'm not sure I like the idea of women giggling about me. Seems pretty insulting really.

I do as well, because it usually meant they were mocking me when they simply don't understand me.

If I know them somehow and catch them giggling while glancing at me, then I would give them a stare and be like (somehow in sarcastic tone): 'Can I join your funny conversation?'

If it wasn't about you, they would tell you about it.

If it was about you, or if it was about some private girl-thing (which it would be a lie if they were obviously looking at you while giggling...don't be naive), then they would be like "oh...it's nothing, just girls-talk" but at least they would stop giggling and shut up.

Yes, this is a good idea. I have done stuff like this, but I'm at a point in my life where I don't really care whether they are mocking me, attracted to me or both.

I don't think women would always tell you whether or not they were actually talking about you...just because you asked if they were. They could easily just lie and say they weren't when in fact they were lol.

It is all the same s**t different day. I'm not going to start approaching every group of women I hear giggling to find out the reason behind it because it happens every single day. I'm not exaggerating. Every single day, girls giggle around me.

I think it is usually attraction, but once in a while s**t talking. If I focus on the girls/women for long enough, I can kind of "feel the vibe" they are giving off by observing their facial expressions, voice tones and reactions to making eye contact.

If the vibe seems more friendly and innocent, I will smile at the women giggling and they will usually give smiles back and giggle more and act shy. If I smile at women giggling and they don't react or just look at each other and bust up laughing, that is when you know they are being negative, even when they don't mean to be.

Even if a woman is giggling because she is attracted to me...did you notice women ONLY giggle with they are WITH OTHER WOMEN and when they are ALONE they NEVER giggle.

To the women on this forum...why the hell do you women do this???