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green0star
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27 May 2016, 9:14 am

C2V wrote:
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Surely it doesn't matter what you identify as - it doesn't change anything physically. You wouldn't turn up to a gynaecologist with male parts. You still use the male/female toilets. The defining body part is still there when you look in your underwear. Your human, and in the human world, you're either male or female, it's a matter of chromosomes.

:lmao: Wow. You've really never been in a nonbinary transperson's pants, have you. Well let me tell you, it does change things physically. The "defining part," and all, for any transperson, though I really hope your genitalia doesn't define you. On the nonbinary side of transition, again, there is no "defining part" that makes you unequivocally male or female in many cases. What you see when you look in your underwear is decidedly more interesting and not a penis or a vagina.
Lets also not forget intersex people, who can (and often do, from the individuals I have met) make up some of the nonbinary crowd. Some of them were born with a mix. They're still human.
For the record, I use unisex bathrooms and if none available, disabled bathrooms if the only alternative. I am nonbinary queer - I get sh!t in any public bathroom.


Unfortunately there are many people out there that are defined by their genitals. Of course that is the type of person who unfortunately can not be helped.



stitchingdevil
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17 Jun 2016, 5:29 pm

I identify as andogyne, nonbinary/transgender and yes, I also came across that some studies believe AS and gender may be linked or those with AS are more likely to identify as neither male or female or both. I find these studies very fascinating as someone who is transgender and is currently seeking an evaluation for AS.



green0star
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26 Jun 2016, 2:06 pm

stitchingdevil wrote:
I identify as andogyne, nonbinary/transgender and yes, I also came across that some studies believe AS and gender may be linked or those with AS are more likely to identify as neither male or female or both. I find these studies very fascinating as someone who is transgender and is currently seeking an evaluation for AS.


That would be an interesting thing to look into.



Edenthiel
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26 Jun 2016, 2:22 pm

green0star wrote:
stitchingdevil wrote:
I identify as andogyne, nonbinary/transgender and yes, I also came across that some studies believe AS and gender may be linked or those with AS are more likely to identify as neither male or female or both. I find these studies very fascinating as someone who is transgender and is currently seeking an evaluation for AS.


That would be an interesting thing to look into.


Link to an interesting study in this comment/thread:
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopi ... 2&start=15


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RemiBeaker
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29 Jun 2016, 3:37 pm

green0star wrote:
^ Well that sounds like it went pretty well xD

An update: I told her a lot of things.
I didn't tell her this al at once, just one thing at the time.

I told her that i wanted to change the name i go by to a gender neutral name.
She understood and started using my new name right away.

I told her i want top surgery, it hurt her a bit at first.
I cried when i told her and she saw what it means to me.
She was and is supportive and wants me to be happy.
A few weeks later there was a tv- show about transgender people and she watched it and she says she understands more.

I told her i didn't like her calling me girl and she changed it to boy.
I told her i didn't like her calling me boy either and she was glad i didn't like it either because it was weird.
I said that she could call me man because it can be used in a gender neutral way in my native language.
She likes that better and does say man to me sometimes.

I told her a i wanted a men's bicycle and she searched online for a secondhand one immediately.
I bought one the next day.

I told her that although i'm agender i prefer to be seen as a male and she's fine with that.
I think she even kinda likes it because she sees me be(com)ing more confident.

I told her that i want to use male pronouns because i'd like to been seen as a male.
(There aren't any genderneutral pronouns in my native language by the way.)
She understands and is supportive of it.

I talked today to the very kind and supportive minister of my new church who accepts me as i am.
Afterwards he prayed with me (not to cure me by the way).
The first time he referred to me as she and i corrected him without thinking.
After that he referred to me as he and him.
Afterwards i thought "Can i do this? I mean i prefer male pronouns but i don't am a male and i let him use he and him when he's talking to GOD...."
I talked to my mom and she said it's fine.
She says that God does know that the minister was referring to me and that pronouns are just words and that they are not important to God because he knows who i am.
And she thinks that it makes sense to let him use male pronouns for me when he's talking to God too if i want him to use male pronouns for me when he's talking to people.

I bought a cool hat and she's figured out how to make them so now she makes them in different colors.
I didn't ask her to do so but she likes to do so and is glad she can help me (look more masculine).

My mother is so much more awesome than i thought, even with this :D

She doesn't always find it easy to tell people from her church that i've changed my name because she doesn't want them to judge me and she doesn't like it either when they think that i need healing.
If people offer to pray a prayer of healing for me she tells them not to do so.
I think it's awesome how she stands up to them.
She thinks i'm a beautiful person, being who i am, including being autistic and agender.
That really makes me feel accepted and supported.



green0star
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30 Jun 2016, 2:26 pm

I will never receive that kinda acceptance ... not after my mom made it specifically clear that gender is based off of what you got between your legs and nothing more. She hates that gay people have way too much power and feels they are taking over. She also feels that the transgenders will rape small children in the bathroom. I'm not trans nor am I gay by any means but being the fact I'm not cisgender makes me really not want to mention anything to her about that.



RemiBeaker
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04 Jul 2016, 4:19 pm

green0star wrote:
I will never receive that kinda acceptance ... not after my mom made it specifically clear that gender is based off of what you got between your legs and nothing more. She hates that gay people have way too much power and feels they are taking over. She also feels that the transgenders will rape small children in the bathroom. I'm not trans nor am I gay by any means but being the fact I'm not cisgender makes me really not want to mention anything to her about that.
That sucks! :(

I hope you'll find some people who do accept too.



green0star
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07 Jul 2016, 9:30 am

RemiBeaker wrote:
green0star wrote:
I will never receive that kinda acceptance ... not after my mom made it specifically clear that gender is based off of what you got between your legs and nothing more. She hates that gay people have way too much power and feels they are taking over. She also feels that the transgenders will rape small children in the bathroom. I'm not trans nor am I gay by any means but being the fact I'm not cisgender makes me really not want to mention anything to her about that.
That sucks! :(

I hope you'll find some people who do accept too.


So far I do just fine with the internet, IRL folks aren't generally accepting of alternative gender identities. Trans gets acceptance to an extent but if you're genderqueer like me then people will just say you're exhibiting "special snowflake syndrome" and write you off. I've only come out to a hand full of people and most of them are those that I don't even have contact with in my real life.



Laelyn17
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20 Aug 2016, 10:51 pm

I suppose I'm non-binary - or bigender to be more specific - but I don't really want to come out and deal with all the transphobia (even though I keep hearing it anyway) so I'm just gonna carry on identifying as only a girl on the outside.



dossa
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22 Aug 2016, 11:09 am

I think genderfluid is the best way to describe myself. I am not sure. I have never felt 'wrong' in my body, but I never feel particularly female either. I just say that I am female because my body is. Some days I find it ridiculous that I have do do female things, like dealing with periods. It has made me laugh out loud before, but it does not cause me upset or anything. It just seems funny as all get out sometimes, though other times it seems completely normal and I think nothing of it. There have been times when I come across as more female, other times more male. It seems to be inconsistent to me, though not problematic. I kinda just am what I am, I guess. I wonder sometimes what it is to feel a distinct pull towards feeling female or male.. what is it like to feel female... to feel male. I am not sure if I have ever felt a pull either way. It seems contradictory to me sometimes, but I have a hard time understanding maleness or femaleness. I can say sometimes I act girly, or manly, but I'm not sure I feel more girly or manly because of those actions. It seems more fitting to say that those actions are only what I happen to be into at the time. It is other people who point out the male/female aspects of those actions. At the end of the day, I believe I would be the same person regardless of what my body happened to be.


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green0star
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23 Aug 2016, 11:22 am

Laelyn17 wrote:
I suppose I'm non-binary - or bigender to be more specific - but I don't really want to come out and deal with all the transphobia (even though I keep hearing it anyway) so I'm just gonna carry on identifying as only a girl on the outside.


You are as conflicted as me. I can't even come out to my family especially due to their views on gender identity and sexuality but to fully self identify as a female makes me feel most like a defective human.



rowan_nichol
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26 Aug 2016, 8:40 am

k9writer wrote:
I identify as gender neutral (neutrois) and I've heard that gender issues and autism can go hand in hand a lot of the time. Anyone else?


The University of Leyden carried out a study and found gender issues seven times more common in Autistic respondents compared to NT.



green0star
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05 Sep 2016, 8:14 am

rowan_nichol wrote:
k9writer wrote:
I identify as gender neutral (neutrois) and I've heard that gender issues and autism can go hand in hand a lot of the time. Anyone else?


The University of Leyden carried out a study and found gender issues seven times more common in Autistic respondents compared to NT.


I remember reading about that once.