Everybody Is Identical: a response to An Open Letter to the Depressed Aspergian
OP, thank you for posting the article.
I take your point and concur strongly with your viewpoint that narratives which discuss ASD depression as a set of symptoms located in the person, without any consideration or acknowledgement at all of the marginalisation, bullying and negative labelling of ASD people, which ignore the interplay and effect of these intertwined factors, are biased by omission and so promote more negative bias in the mind of readers which lessen rather rather increase understanding.
How that level of ignorance and harm is so blithely tolerated should shock us perhaps more than it already does. Hidden in the undergrowth of the promotion of that bias is the ubiquitous assumption that the fault lies in the victims, not the environment of bias, exclusion which the articles actually promote in the guise of being concerned, caring, offering 'treatment suggestions'.
The promoters, being "experts", seem deaf and blind to the harm that they do; they repeat the same lame ideas they have been taught, in a circle, into which no critical analysis seems able to penetrate, to the detriment of the people they purport to be wanting to understand and help. That kind of help fails to recognise that understanding is contingent on a dialogue, a two way street, not a one way blind alley.
I liked the Infinite Jest quote a lot (especially seeing as I feel quite a kinship with David Foster Wallace personally). In my opinion, it's not the comments of doctors that are the real source of why people on the spectrum feel "more different" than others. It's that neurotypicals tend to live in a mental world whose "structure" is largely defined by social convention. Most of the things they tend to see as important are things that "everybody" has a shared vocabulary for, which creates the illusion of them all living in a large "hive-mind" if you will. But take an autistic whose understanding of the world in childhood was developed in near-isolation--especially if he/she also has a sensory difference such as synesthesia--and this person doesn't have a way to describe this (very real) experience. The comments of doctors only have so much weight when they affirm this everyday experience.
I agree! I have a friend who isn't particularly good at math or similar skills, and because of it some people have "doubted" that she could really be autistic, even though she displays all of the typical symptoms. I think there definitely are a lot of people on the autism spectrum who are good at things like math and engineering, but I think a lot of that has to do with their tendencies to hyper obsess on whatever they are interested in. Obviously if your obsession is math, and you do it all the time, you are bound to be pretty good at it. I also think more men are interested in those sorts of things than women, but that may just be because society portrays those as male activities and therefore fewer women take an interest in them.
People with aspergers actually statistically tend to be worse at math, but better at reading, than the general population.
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"That’s not to say families don’t need support too, 80 percent of married couples with autistic children get divorced."
Got any data? Because I've read that the 80% divorce for parents of disabled kids is a myth. The actual rate of divorce isn't substantially higher than the general population, I think.
However, spreading that myth can make it more stressful for parents of newly diagnosed kids, because they worry about losing their marriage on top of all their other worries.
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I agree with the majority of the article. However, there are scientifically proven differences in the autistic brain. Different active regions , neuron dysfunction in the frontal lobe. Autopsies of scientists and engineers have revealed additional "sensors" which lend to the hypersensitivity, hyper focus, and substantiate the need for sameness. Theory of mind which is where social skills stem from is also not present. Narrow scientific interests that due to the intensity possible by the autistic brain, often leads to advances in the topic being studied. Tesla. Edison. Jobs. Musk.
All high functioning Autistics.
Its a very detailed topic but I will agree we need to celebrate neurodiversity as that will bring about the newness this world needs.
Im no expert but I have learned to use the OCD and hyper focus together when researching scientific topics.
The beauty of it, the human brain can never stop learning .
Division never works.United we stand.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,184
Location: Right over your left shoulder
You seem to conflate 'nice guys' with 'guys who are nice'. 'Nice guys' are employing a self-defeating and manipulative relationship strategy - they act like door mats in hope someone will be guilted into accepting their romantic interest despite having no interest of their own. It is a shameful behaviour, pointing it out as such shouldn't be treated as something wrong.
No one owes any other person a relationship for any reason. The sooner one outgrows the sense of entitlement that they're owed a relationship the closer they are to being mature enough to try to attempt one.
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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
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QueenoftheOwls
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 23 Sep 2010
Age: 69
Gender: Female
Posts: 64
Location: Westchester County, NY
i AM AN AUTISTIC ADULT, AND I HAVE SUFFERED FROM DEPRESSION MOST OF MY LIFE, EVEN THOUGH BOTH MY AUTISM AND DEPRESSION WERE DIAGNOSED LATE IN LIFE. DEPRESSION AMONG THOSE WITH ASPERGER's IS NOT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND; BITTER LONELINESS, BEING MISUNDERSTOOD BY SOCIETY AND ASHAMED THAT WE ARE DIFFERENT, INABILITY BY MANY OF US EVER TO FORM INTIMATE RELATIONS, DATE OR MARRY, INABILITY BY MANY OF US TO FINDS OR KEEP A JOB, DESPITE MANY OF US BEING HIGHLY EDUCATED AND INTELLIGENT,OSTRACIZATION, BULLYING, ISOLATION, NOT BELONGING ANYWHERE OR HAVING A PLACE IN WHICH TO THRIVE. CHARLI DEVNET
I could almost deal with all of this. The hardest thing that makes me depressed is the sense that I am utterly worthless...that my existence doesn't matter.
Yes, I know that in the grand scheme of things, most everyone doesn't really matter, but most people have a sense of belonging...of value...to the community they live in. Feeling as if my life was some kind of mistake (or at worst, a cruel joke) is what makes it unbearable.
Our sensitivities that can be such a burden can also be opportunities, to explore sensory worlds that are not readily available to NTs. I've found my release, my sanity, in nature where I feel completely at home, embraced. I recharge, then bundle up, and dive back into society for another dose of frazzle. It would be nice to have a space to be open with others, without having to play games that are such a struggle. It would be nice to live in a community that appreciates and supports our differences, all differences.
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