Make up a really dumb quote/question

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those who quibble over the quality of a candle, will inevitably succumb to the tyranny of distance.

any person that uses quills made of the spines of porcupines, will inevitably scratch out a truth that can not be contested.

flap should be spelled "ghlap."

Sgt. Schultz is Sid from Flushed Away with a helmet.

the problem with meat, is that it's made out of meat.

Many if not most of the people on My Strange Addiction have Pica. While that explains why they're eating weird or disgusting non-food items, how can they be eating very large quantities of stuff like laundry detergent and Vick's Vapor Rub and not be fatally poisoned? The show must be "exaggerating" the amount they eat.

Actually, the show would have a field day with me. Not because I eat things like broken glass or cigarette ashes, but because of my many other so-called "addictions", even though they're not really harmful.

he is as assertive as an overwhelmed pelican.

he is as lazy as a barnacle on the titanic.

why did lou gehrig's parents name him after a disease?

why can't some food company invent "nutrasalt"? [actually, not so dumb for people with fluid retention/hypertension issues]

what do you mean contracting leprosy won’t make one a were-leopard? how else would someone become one? you’re just jealous that you didn’t come up with the plan yourself.

"ghlap."

There's this band called the Beatles. Now just how are beetles able to sing and play music?

When I was a kid my mom told me eating my spinach would put color in my cheeks. But who would want green cheeks?