Make up a really dumb quote/question

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I love watching tennis, but I'd like it even more if the commentators would just shut up. Virtually anything they say could fit into the stupid quotes thread. My pet peeve is when they mispronounce players' names.

I don't know why they can't make monster vehicle competitions an Olympic-class sport?

"I took that bottle of nose drops the doctor gave me, but it didn't work and I had to drink three glasses of water just to get the thing down. Should have stuck it up my nose for all the good it did me."

(NAUGHTY version:)
"I took those suppositories the doctor gave me, but they didn't work and I had to drink three glasses of water just to get one pill down. Should have stuck them up my butt for the good they did me."

Where is the "any" key that they keep telling me to push?

why is the ladder of success so high above me, and invisible to boot?

Why do we have a forehead, but not a backhead?

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Ya, I'm weird like that...

if I don't wish to be overwhelmed, why can't I just be whelmed?

Why do we have toes on our feet, but not toes on our hand?

why don't more animals wipe?

the fact that australian aborigines were not charged with obscene exposure was a testimony to the fairness of the governers of the early british occupation.

I wonder what cats would say to me if only they could speak English?

It says "Dogs must be carried on the escalator". Does that mean I'm not allowed on the escalator without a dog?

"Mello, if you don't shut up moaning I'm gonna replace your Hersheys bars with Exlax."- Mail "Matt" Jeevas

My sister is pregnant! I just don't know if I'm going to be an auntie or an uncle...

I wish those bloody mathematicians would make up their minds about what x equals.

if they can send a man to the GD moon, why can't they make clog-proof toilets?