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somebody300
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11 May 2016, 11:50 am

Let's say you're sitting in a library, reading some book, and somebody sits down right in front of you, at the same table, and starts staring at you. Or, you're riding a bus, and someone sits right next to you, and starts giving you long stares from time to time.
While those situations occur rather rarely for me, they did occur a few times throughout my life, and I find them to be very stressful. Worse yet, I have no idea how to behave in such situations.

What are you supposed to do in such situations? How to politely escape them?



arielhawksquill
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11 May 2016, 12:25 pm

Usually I will try to ignore it unless it persists, then I will look them right in the face and widen my own eyes as if staring at THEM. They will then look away, embarrassed at being caught staring.



Joe90
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11 May 2016, 4:09 pm

I don't know how people have the inclination to stare, as staring at people (particularly strangers) is really hard for me because I wouldn't want to intimidate them.

I've had someone just staring at me for no reason before. It's really unsettling. But it is best to stare back. I used to pretend I hadn't noticed them staring, and carry on looking distracted, but now I've learnt it's best to stare at them back, so that they know that you are aware of other people. Usually people with very poor self-awareness aren't that aware that people are staring, like small children having a tantrum, adults with mental retardation or severe Autism or other neurological things that can affect their self-awareness and make them look different in some way. So when you show that you have noticed somebody is paying you unwanted attention, staring at them back is a way of saying ''why are you staring at me? Please stop.'' And they usually do. Also you might get a clue as to why they are staring by their facial expression.


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leozelig
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13 May 2016, 1:56 am

As far as I know, aspie or not, staring at people is considered impolite. Unless of course it's a little kid I guess, and they don't really know any better. Sometimes people just blank out in the direction of another person's face, and that can be pretty awkward-- that's happened to me before. I usually just move from wherever I am sitting because being stared at makes me uncomfortable and a bit angry too. The examples you've given about the library and bus seem to me like some creepy people I would want to avoid being around.



nurseangela
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13 May 2016, 2:09 am

I say, "What? Do I have something hanging out of my nose?"

OR

"Didn't your mama ever tell you not to stare?"


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Ban-Dodger
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13 May 2016, 2:18 am

Create a sign and carry it with you.
Hold it up between you and the one who is staring.
The wording should be something like : "What you are doing is making me feel uncomfortable."
You hold it up in such a manner as to block the view of them from you of course.

Otherwise...
...I suppose you could suddenly get into some sort of kung fu stance...
...then be all like "You tryin' t' bring it on wit' me you punk are ya!?"

...hope you have been keeping up with your kung fu training... :wink:


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