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My name's Brendan, I'm 22, live in Sydney Australia and I'm trying to rediscover who I am.

As a kid I was a typical aspie, clumsy, horrid handwriting, good at some school topics; some really bad stories of flirting; you get the idea. But for everything I failed at I would push back harder. I pursued hobbies generalyl I sucked at, just to get good. Martial arts, surfing, rollerblading (To name a few); I armed myself with knowledge, studied body language and sociology. By the time I was 18 I was charming, athletic, strong group of friends, overall a well liked, normal dude. So when I had a doctor in the family come up to me at a party and asked "where on the spectrum I fell" I was honestly surprised; to be fair, she's a doctor of behavioural sciences.

The catch is, I didn't know I had it. Didn't know the first thing about it so understandably I denied it. But the seed of doubt was sown; That feeling that something wasn't right that followed me everywhere now had a cause. I spent a night researching ASD and for the most part scoffed at it. I honestly didn't believe I had it. But as I delved deeper bits and pieces started to stand out; "Refusal to wear certain fabrics", "Restrictive diet", "feeling like there's a secret to making friends that nobody is telling you".

It took me three years and a lot of debate with friends, family, people on the spectrum and even a few doctors. The problem was that I spent so long fighting against the symptoms that I'd effectively hid every one of them; even to myself. The only give away t my aunt the doctor; I mirrored her body language too well and forgot to carry the eye contact (she's since taught me some great tricks )

So now here I am. 22 and trying to let go of two decades of self-denial.
Nice to meet you all. Hopefully I can learn how to be that imaginative young mind again.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hello there.

many of us would be doing the same at that age.

i'm 18, 19 next month and while i do believe in am slowly moving forward in life, i find myself wondering whether my trajectory is really leading to where i want to be...

i pursued new hobbies and interests like you too, i tried to get into aikido as a child, did it for 3 years and grew bored. i did track and field junior and sophomore years of HS, very physically taxing at first but i met some really nice people and made a couple of buds. was certainly not the fastest sprinter (200 and 400 meter) but i guess i was good enough.

i think it's great you were able to manage your symptoms well enough i think i did pretty good as well.

oh, and my family and doctors were debating a lot about my diagnosis as well but i was 4 then.

welcome to the club.

Hey Brendan welcome.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Welcome, hope you regain that imaginative zest you are searching for!

Welcome! Thanks for sharing your story.