why cant NT accept us for who we are

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What is your definition of acceptance?

There's informed acceptance and uninformed acceptance. Acceptance isn't possible in the absence of understanding, and understanding isn't possible in the absence of listening, and listening isn't possible if there is no will to listen.

Acceptance is an outcome of one kind or another.

NT people don't need to listen to you to get through the day, a life even. What would they gain by listening, understanding and accepting?

It is not unreasonable for those of us in the ASD community who live in cultures that "talk the talk on disability without walking the walk" to desire better outcomes for ASD people, and better outcomes depend upon much more than talk.

Why should NTs care? Because they are humans too, members of "civilised" western democratic cultures where fairness and equity are (supposedly) culturally important values. At the end of the day we are all in this together as people.

It's not what they would gain, it's what we would gain by having them treat us like real humans with real needs. As human beings, we deserve to be treated with the same minimum level of respect that NTs give each other as a matter of course, and all too frequently we aren't. The NTs I work with don't accept me when they bully me and make me feel like I don't belong. They don't accept me when they laugh at me and cut me off if ever I try to talk about things that interest me. They don't accept me when they refuse to acknowledge the severe reality of my sensory problems, and tell me to just deal with it.

If a super race of telepathic aliens who were impervious to painful sensory stimuli came down to earth and started bullying the NTs for not being able to communicate the way they did, or for getting too hot or too cold or having their senses damaged by excessive stimuli, you can bet the NTs would revolt.

Yes I feel unaccepted by society in general.

And I feel like most people don't care about me or most anyone else in general..

I rarely feel like adding to conversations in real life. I don't feel very capable of it. And I don't mean my speech issues

I feel sad fairly often. Sad and or scared.

Last edited by EzraS on 07 Jun 2016, 8:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

I will respect a person more if the person accommodates me, as much as I accommodate the person.

If a person doesn't bother to listen to my side of the story, I don't respect the person. I would, inevitably, think the he/she is a ignoramus.

NT's have the "right" not to listen to people with ASD's---but if they don't listen to people with ASD's, they are not moral people. They are lesser people. They are limited.

Becaus NT don't like the truth?

On average, we hate it when it conflicts with something we closely identify with. It's called Self-Serving Bias.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/in ... -antidotes

It depends on the NT.

By and large, NT's know very little about autism. It's not their fault; there's not much material about it floating around--except within sensationalistic sorts of reports detailing an "autism epidemic" or something of that ilk.

Some will listen with varying degrees of thoroughness and sincerity.

Some will just not listen, and believe high-functioning autism is just an "excuse."

But the majority of NT's are not bad people; they just need to be educated.

my course is really good with equality and diversity, they say "you should be accepting of everyone, no matter who they are we wont tolerate homophobic, sexist or racist remarks" and then.....let anyone say anything bad against anyone. can litterly go call someone a homophobic slur right infront of a course tutor and they wont say anything, for example some people in my class have called me a "spaz" or "downy" and nothing happens at all. yay for equality?

If I was treated with the same respect that my younger sister is, I'd be hanging out with my family a lot more often. I'm not treated with the same respect that she is, and I just go off and do my own thing. It's been three weeks since I went to visit them because I know my mum will never accept me for who I am in the moment. I know that my mum loves me, she loves me in a way that she wants me to be loved instead of loved the way that I am today. It can be very grating and I have to leave most of my favrouite things at home when I spend the night there. I'm not allowed to bring any comfort objects that have to do with my favourite TV character, than I have to sleep through the night without something to cling to or wear on my head. If my mum was able to accept me as I am at the moment, I'd be able to bring my happy objects for the night. I know that my mum will never accept me as I am in the present and she will keep expecting to be like my same-sex peers instead of accepting my helmets. If a certain member tries to argue with me, I will not respond.

It is a very steep learning curve for most NTs--it is very, very hard to learn things that are outside their comfort zone. Advanced physics is very hard because it is contrary to what we observe in everyday life--you have to look very hard and do tedious experiments to see evidence.

Not so much these days, as I keep away from people who don't accept me, as far as possible, and gravitate towards those who do. Also I feel that some of my feelings of alienation are my own doing, I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, sometimes I think I love my privacy and autonomy more than I other love people. And I prefer to be fiercely individualist and off-centre, and won't wear social masks very much, so the herd, if there is such a thing any more, are bound to find it hard to relate to me.

Same as above.

Sometimes. Other times I feel like I have far too much to say. It's very hard to find the middle ground.

Depends on what you mean by sad. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle, rarely extremely happy or sad but I flip around the centre line a lot.

I think it's mainly down to people in general not being all that good at taking each other's different perspectives and supporting each other. We humans never seem quite able to make up our minds whether we want to compete or co-operate. And with the AS-NT divide, autism is a hellishly complicated thing, it's probably not surprising that most people don't have the time or inclination to understand it. It's much easier to demonise and shun those who are different.

So what happens if a socially dominant person is rude or oppressive towards you? Do you not consider them a "real person"? Do you become sad? vengeful?

Details please.

To be honest, I'm not sure what the condition of my parents is... Let's assume they are NT. While I have no siblings, I certainly do not get any respect from them.