Only one from church small group not invited to wedding

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I am so upset, a couple at my church and in my small group got married and had this wedding and invited everyone from my small group except me. I know this because I saw pictures of everyone from my small group at the wedding. This was after I talked to my pastor about whether it was open invite bc I didnt get an invitation and he said it was invitation only and that I wasnt the only one not invited. But looking at the pictures I see that isnt true. So then I messaged him and told him I saw everyone from small group that goes regurarly there. He listed a few names of people that weren't invited, but they don't come very often (with the exception of this one guy and this girl who just started coming a few few months ago). That doesnt matter to me because I have been going regularly, Im a girl and have been going for a long time and I was the only one out of the group of girls that goes regurarly that isnt new that was not invited. That is what makes me feel like there is something wrong with me because I was the only girlone out of the core group not invited, like do they have something against me or does somebody else in the group have something against me and they wanted them there and didnt want them feeling uncomfortable around me? I dont know. But I was the only girl who has been coming a year that attends regurarly that wasn't invited. I had specifically asked him before the wedding if there were other people that go regurarly to small group that weren't invited and he said a whole bunch. One guy and one new person isn't a whole bunch. Why would he say this? And why was I the only girl that attends regurarly not invited? And he had access to the guest list to know who was invited? Why would he know the guest list? He was officiating the wedding, but still, does the officiant usually know the guest list?

Not necessarily saying you should do this but if it were me I would start going to a different church. The people at your church don't treat you very well.

That was SOO rude! It was just like when I went to my cousin's grad party and NONE of her friends talked to me-not even after was introduced. I even tried asking normal questions. Also, when she had another friend over pre-party, I was introduced, and that girl acted like I wasn't there. Not even when I asked her about going into the air force(she's going to the academy next year)

I am so sorry they left you out and congregations can be so tight knit like that too. On the contrary maybe the ones who were invited could have known the bridge and groom for a longer time frame.

Yet I would get them a card and a gift since you attend the same small group that they do. Just tell them "Congratulations, by the way I saw your wedding pictures and you looked lovely." Just leave it at that. You could also ask to meet that couple in private and tell them how you felt in a nice way. If they give you excuses just tell them "I'm sorry if you can't accept me for who I am.

As for the way you are being treated otherwise, have you ever thought about creating a little power point presentation and sharing it with your group? You might also see about finding some information about Asperger's Syndrome along with talking about the importance of belonging and inclusion. You could also tell the group that it's really important to consider including you and getting you engaged with the community.

I don't think that "going regularly" is the same as "being friends with". Maybe they only wanted a small wedding with close friends and family. Maybe they have huge families and couldn't really invite acquaintances because there was no room.

The pastor could probably tell that you were asking because you were upset at being left out. He was just trying to make you feel better rather than tell you the whole list of people who went. He probably thought that would make you feel worse.

Do you spend time with these people socially? Do they realise that you want to be friends?

Forget the gift and or a card. You don't want to look desperate.....although that's probably too late since you talked to the pastor. Find a new church or sleep in on Sundays. I don't waste my time with church groups. Been there and done that.

If these "friends" wanted you at their wedding, you would have been invited. No married couple has a numerical limit of guests. All the people they want to attend (even co-workers) get invited ... and no one else. It is that simple. The fact that you spoke with the church leader about your concerns should have prompted the married couple to at least apologize to you. Unless they have done so already, their silence condemns them: They didn't want you around.

So, you can't make others like you. Either move other friends to the top of your list or find new friends.

My own choice would be to stop all communication with them and move on to a new church that actually welcomes you. You deserve that at least.

There are some good ideas at this web site article ( http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-when-No-One-Cares-About-You ). Unfortunately, it includes some presumptions that probably don't help in your situation. Accept what you like, dismiss the rest.

The last several posts have been about people from that small group alone. Though I recommend the other, may it might be an even better idea for you to stop attending that small group altogether. I am sure there are other small groups in your church that are probably more accepting. The one that you are involved with sounds like they are more interested in being a little social clique than they are in being Christians.

I agree you should probably find another church and slip away out of this one's lives. You don't have to confront anyone, just find a new place. I can't say I think they SHOULD have invited you or everyone who wasn't invited; they have the right to not do so. But it still feels sucky for the person who knows they were excluded, no matter why, be it merely cost concerns (each place at a reception is a dinner cost) or just personal level of perceived friendship or not.

I would just move on. Don't give a gift or card anyway -- it might be a nice gesture but you don't really owe anybody that gesture; they sure didn't make any nice gestures to you by way of including you.

In fact that's one thing to be thankful is not expected of you -- buying a gift! Being a guest at a wedding can be a bloody expensive undertaking these days. Invited guests are often under pressure to buy an expensive gift or money gift. These days, with SOME greedy people, even the act of inviting someone is actually a veiled application for "what are ya gonna get us?"

Be glad you dodged that bullet.

Being excluded from events at the church ehh? Welcome to Christianity. Been there, done that, the church I grew up in was notorious for that because my family was one of very few black/non white families in the church. The only ones they reached out to were POC they felt they could "help".

One of the last congregations that I used to attend was very cliquish and I was excluded several times. The sad part is that one of the families there attended the same autism center that I belonged to because their son had Asperger's. So you would think they would have gone all out to work on including me

A few years ago, when I was still attending the congregation, I went to one of the women's fellowships at the house of the family with the son who had Asperger's. Her son came down to me and asked if I was going to the surprise party for one of the elders. I said "No I knew nothing about that." Later that afternoon they were talking about it and I jokingly said "I knew nothing of these things since I am out of the loop a lot of the time." The elder's wife lied in front of the entire group "I was trying to hand out invitations but my husband kept following me. You were always invited." Then she said that it was my responsibility to reach out and see what was happening. She also accused me of being lonely and that it up to me to reach out and see what events were going on in terms of parties or events outside the congregation. What?

I had also tried to get involved in volunteering during worship times by signing up and giving out my name and e-mail and no one seemed to e-mail me. So this one time I showed up at a service and one of the elders approached me and asked "Why weren't you at the meeting?" I said "I never got any information about it."