Missed out on so many milestones

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I'm 36,
I still don't have all my ducks in their rows, my sheep are out eating daisies and I'm still looking at the clouds wondering if that one really is a dragon or a worm with a hump!
yet somewhere along the way I managed to have three boys, adopt a menagerie of mad animals and collect all the star trek dvds, Sometimes as hard as it sounds life will just HAPPEN and there is nout you can do or say about it, one day you might wake up old and grey and wonder what the heck just happened, but that's ok too. my mother in law is in her 70s just realized what's been up with her all these years (ASD) and just said 'well that explains a lot' and started laughing about all the weird stuff that she had done. It really is never to late

A huge percentage of NT young adults are underemployed and still living with their parents because of the current state of the economy. If you're missing milestones, so are about one third of your generational cohort--you won't look any worse than they do.

I grew up in a small Texas town around evangelicals, too. Things got a heck of a lot better once I got to Austin, but even out in the sticks there are places to encounter like minded people. Check the website for your local library and see if there are any book groups or club meetings you might attend. Take a continuing education class at your county community college about one of your special interests. Join the progressive political party of your choice and take part in their campaigning activities. None of those things could be even remotely considered "Satanic", just good citizenship! Your family will be glad to see you involved, and you will be glad to be out of the house and away from them for a while. And there is a chance you will meet and talk to girls that way.

Plan trips for yourself to more urban areas; you can take a bus or rideshare and stay in a youth hostel near a college campus to save money, and find free stuff to do on "Time Out" magazine's website or the local free weekly newspaper. You can even just walk around neighborhoods and imagine what it would be like to live there. Again, it gets you away from your family and gives you hope for the future, and there's no reason a harmless weekend trip to the city should be considered "Satanic".

in terms of missed milestones, I feel as though I missed the news that there was a race, and by the time I got to the track it had long ago been paved over into a parking lot and nobody remembered the race.

I can identify with this. I didn't have friends until after highschool but they never stayed long. I knew what I liked doing but there is no steady work or pay for the things I do. I didn't have a car, a house, or children like my peers. It took a long while for me to find a person for a good relationship and really understand what to do for my course of study. I wasn't diagnosed till way late so there was a lot of pressure from my parents wanting me to be normal like my younger sisters who did go to proms, socialized, knew right away what they wanted in college and were able to take a full class load, get married, have children, successful careers, nice houses and cars. Each year I worried about how my family saw me as a loser who just couldn't get my life together. Right now I am taking one college class at a time and my nieces and nephew are in highschool and I know I will not be finished my degree before they go to college.

What I have learned over all this time is, as horrible as it seems, you can only push on at your pace and not to insult yourself about it. I do not know what your resources are, if you have access to a college advisor that can help you explore what you really want to go for. I can only tell you whether it is online, college or no, you are a real valuable person and do not let anyone bring you down.

I am still in a rut.

I feel like I missed out on many milestones in my developmental years and it's too late to achieve them now as an adult. I'm not even a late bloomer; I haven't bloomed at all. I hoped that my 20's would be better than my teens but they have been just as bad if not worse.

Things I missed out on:
- Young love. I never dated in my school years and I never went to prom. Most people my age are either dating or married and I'm staying at home all alone.
- Finding my passion. I could never figure out what passion in life was supposed to be. Even though I loved music, I sucked at playing the guitar. I couldn't draw well despite my interest in it. I can't write a story since I'll either get writer's block or I will feel bored with what I am coming up with. Most people my age have become super talented and have something interesting to show to others all the time while I never do.
- Deciding on a career path. I never could decide what I wanted to be when I grew up and if I had an idea, it would've gotten shot down by others. I'm stuck working a dead end part time job at a public library making near poverty level income and I'm still living with my mother who has been a big part of destroying my self-esteem.
- Finding my niche. I never fit in with the social groups at my school. I wasn't redneck, ghetto, geeky, skater, gothic, punk, religious, and preppy and my parents were constantly hounding me with "Don't do this, don't do that!".

I feel like all I have left in this life is just to stay depressed until I finally exit. It feels like if you've missed out on certain things, you'll never get second chances since they are required for adulthood.

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yeah. well, i am 34 years old. thus far, i have not found young love. although i ain't particularly "young" anymore. some branches of the army do not let recruits age 34 enlist.

in the military, someone my height/sex that is 18 has to weigh a certain amount. that standard is looser for 34 year olds. likewise, the percent body fat standards are looser.

moreover, i have yet to find a passion. quite frankly, i strongly suspect. that maybe i ain't got no passion. maybe the solar system don't contain nothing that i love to do, & don't contain nothing that i am good at doing. while the solar system contains a lot of things, & it is impossible to "prove" statement. (fine). but, it is also not physically possible to try out every last activity. likewise, there is no law that says that everyone has to have a passion.

someone with a lot of passion and job skills and a high IQ score ain't higher than someone without any of that.

career path. 4th year undergrad. flunked out structural engineering. got BS in cognitive science. 2.19 gpa too low for grad school. and not many jobs require a cognitive science degree. wasted a lot of time applying for jobs. got ignored, rejected. of the few that hired me, none required a degree. and the ones that hired me, fired me quickly too.

niche. i never have, and do not fit in. quite frankly, suspect that i never will fit in either.

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^^^I also suck at playin' the gitfiddle, but I will say I suck more distinctively and with more flair, than any other sucky guitarist.