Missed out on so many milestones

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Some people don't figure things out until their 50's.
I'm just finally sorting myself out now - late thirties.

I'm 36,
I still don't have all my ducks in their rows, my sheep are out eating daisies and I'm still looking at the clouds wondering if that one really is a dragon or a worm with a hump!
yet somewhere along the way I managed to have three boys, adopt a menagerie of mad animals and collect all the star trek dvds, Sometimes as hard as it sounds life will just HAPPEN and there is nout you can do or say about it, one day you might wake up old and grey and wonder what the heck just happened, but that's ok too. my mother in law is in her 70s just realized what's been up with her all these years (ASD) and just said 'well that explains a lot' and started laughing about all the weird stuff that she had done. It really is never to late

A huge percentage of NT young adults are underemployed and still living with their parents because of the current state of the economy. If you're missing milestones, so are about one third of your generational cohort--you won't look any worse than they do.

I grew up in a small Texas town around evangelicals, too. Things got a heck of a lot better once I got to Austin, but even out in the sticks there are places to encounter like minded people. Check the website for your local library and see if there are any book groups or club meetings you might attend. Take a continuing education class at your county community college about one of your special interests. Join the progressive political party of your choice and take part in their campaigning activities. None of those things could be even remotely considered "Satanic", just good citizenship! Your family will be glad to see you involved, and you will be glad to be out of the house and away from them for a while. And there is a chance you will meet and talk to girls that way.

Plan trips for yourself to more urban areas; you can take a bus or rideshare and stay in a youth hostel near a college campus to save money, and find free stuff to do on "Time Out" magazine's website or the local free weekly newspaper. You can even just walk around neighborhoods and imagine what it would be like to live there. Again, it gets you away from your family and gives you hope for the future, and there's no reason a harmless weekend trip to the city should be considered "Satanic".

in terms of missed milestones, I feel as though I missed the news that there was a race, and by the time I got to the track it had long ago been paved over into a parking lot and nobody remembered the race.

I can identify with this. I didn't have friends until after highschool but they never stayed long. I knew what I liked doing but there is no steady work or pay for the things I do. I didn't have a car, a house, or children like my peers. It took a long while for me to find a person for a good relationship and really understand what to do for my course of study. I wasn't diagnosed till way late so there was a lot of pressure from my parents wanting me to be normal like my younger sisters who did go to proms, socialized, knew right away what they wanted in college and were able to take a full class load, get married, have children, successful careers, nice houses and cars. Each year I worried about how my family saw me as a loser who just couldn't get my life together. Right now I am taking one college class at a time and my nieces and nephew are in highschool and I know I will not be finished my degree before they go to college.

What I have learned over all this time is, as horrible as it seems, you can only push on at your pace and not to insult yourself about it. I do not know what your resources are, if you have access to a college advisor that can help you explore what you really want to go for. I can only tell you whether it is online, college or no, you are a real valuable person and do not let anyone bring you down.