Aspie women: how is your workforce experience?

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MindBlind
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03 Jun 2017, 3:29 pm

I have limited experience, partly due to my mental disorders but also because of the recession. The first and only "real job" I ever had was as a mail order clerk. It was extremely demanding and the job description was very vague so I was practically doing three different jobs at once. My colleagues were lovely but I had a manager that was an as*hole (as to be expected). He wasn't always so bad but he wasn't above humiliating his staff and singleing them out. By the way, I call him Bad Cop and his business partner Good Cop.

So Bad Cop harassed me in front of my colleague because I had mistakenly put a print out on the other manager's desk (I was on my own that day and still fairly new) which is directly next to his own office and easy to fix. He blamed me for delaying his work but it wasn't delayed at all because Good Cop already saw that there were extra prints on his desk and must have handed them to Bad Cop. I call shenanigans. I mean, yeah, I should have been more careful but his reaction was totally over the top and he was super condescending and degrading, saying stuff like "Do you not understand the importance of this?" and accusing me of intentionally hiding it from him (lol, okay you paranoid weirdo). He also changed rules just for me and I reckon it's because he didn't trust me. Apparently we had lost loads of stock of a product and his first suspicion was that someone stole it so of course I was his first suspect. Because apparently someone can't just be bad at their job - they obviously have malicious intent. It didn't occur to him that it might have been an error with the filing system (it was, btw. The software was updated afterwards). I have other crazy stories about the place but I don't have time to go into everything. The place stressed me out and led me to suffer extreme burnout and a massive relapse in major depression. He only good thing about the experience is that it happened early in my career, making it easier to recover from the shame, and it made me seek an ADHD diagnosis.

I also learned to be a bit more assertive. This job showed me that I shouldn't let managers think it's okay to bully me and that I need to stand up for my right to have good, healthy working conditions. I learned that I need to be one step ahead of employers and show them that I know the law and I know my rights. I'm not going to let a job define my worth anymore - f**k that.



hurtloam
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04 Jun 2017, 4:36 pm

I often find it difficult to understand what exactly is expected of me. I don't know if what I'm doing is actually good enough, so I put my all into it so that I can make it good enough, I spend too much time second guessing myself and that burns me out. You can't constantly ask, should I do this, should I do that? You have to take some initiative. It's been like that in every job I've had.

My current job has really burned me out. I have deadlines to meet and the work we produce individually is reviewed by others before it is added to the program we are working on. I always hope that I've done the right thing. At least I get feedback and if I have to make changes, from that point on I know what to do, sort of. Sometimes I follow that comments, re-upload what I've done to the git repository and then find I've totally misunderstood. I have never felt as stupid as I have in this job. I swear I used to be intelligent.

Then sometimes the software crashes on me and I have to spend half an hour fixing it or waiting for it to re-load before I can continue with my work that I'm already stressed about. It's even worst when I'm flying close to the deadline, sigh in relief that I've finally finished and then find out that I've not actually done the thing right because I've misunderstood something.

This is the most demoralising job I've ever had. I just sleep all weekend these days too burned out to do anything much with my leisure time.



VioletFirth
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04 Jun 2017, 9:39 pm

I have struggled with being employed all of my life. I am currently in an administrative position and have been for about a year, my second time around at a job like this. I don't follow office politics and also have learned through bad experiences to keep to myself even more so than I normally do. I struggle with losing "status" at work because I don't hang out at other people's door's and I'm not a fan of gossiping. I spend a good amount of time at my computer which is good but supervision meetings are hard because I don't know what the expectation is. I'd say my job is medium contact, and the meeting people/that side of my job is always awkward but at this point where I work is so understaffed they would have a nightmare if they let me go in terms of coverage. I feel thankful for that some days. I have an advanced degree but I don't know how to go about using it because I get overwhelmed too quickly.



blue_bean
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05 Jun 2017, 10:18 am

By sheer luck/strength I have lasted/tolerated 13 years in the same job!! But I think that might change next year when I finish my degree and take the initiative to try and find a new job elsewhere. I just get the sense that they don't see me as someone with 'normal' career aspirations, so they don't really have much planned for the future for me that actually involves utilizing the degree once I get it. Atm I'm filling in for a lady who is away and I'm doing really great at it but once she comes back I'll be struggling to find productive things to do; A heap of clients have been taken off me over the last 12 months, leaving me with not much tax and accounting work to do. Instead I have to fill in the time with menial admin tasks. Meanwhile all my peers in the office get to be actual accountants.
My main issues at work are with communication, on the phone, face to face with clients and with co-workers. If I could communicate with everybody via email all the time I would.



questor
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08 Jun 2017, 8:53 pm

I am no longer working due to a bunch of health issues, and I am on disability because of it, but I did work off and on for several decades. I had several "permanent" jobs, but none for more than 2 years. Most of my work history was in temping, so I was often out of work between assignments. I think that gave me a needed break from the stress. I had no heavy job skills, so I did general clerical, light industrial/warehouse/factory, and a little bit of retail. Although none of the jobs paid well, I was glad to have any work at all, as I was never the sort of person to easily get hired. Didn't know about my Asperger's back then, so I didn't know what was wrong with me, just knew that I was very out of step with the rest of the world. Knowing what is wrong with me has helped me deal with it, as it was very stressful when I didn't know why I was the way I am.

Temping was a big help for me, as I was not the sort of person to be kept on long in a permanent job. With temp assignments, I would stay the length of the assignment, and then be off work for a while, or off to another assignment. You can sign up with all the agencies in your area too, so you have access to more temp assignments. I worked at some places several times, as they would send for temps whenever they had too much work. I think I liked temping more than all but my first job, which was as a "page" in the library in the next town over. Unfortunately, because they were a non-profit organization, they didn't have to pay minimum wage, so I eventually left for a job that paid the regular rate.

If anyone on the spectrum is just starting out in the work force and needs a foot in the door, I definitely recommend temping, as a good starting point.


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Cometdog
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16 Jun 2017, 12:22 pm

Most of my problems have come from female coworkers. I just don't know how to spot someone who is trouble. I have spent most of my life self-employed, and my work life took up a great deal of energy. After I divorced, I went back to school to finish my degree. I graduated and now have been offered an assistantship as a grad student. In order to get tuition and a stipend, I'll be responsible for teaching two classes a semester. I did disclose that I am ASD in my personal statement when I applied, so it's no secret. I am going to study creative writing and my ASD factors very large in my work. I am very nervous about teaching, but I am also optimistic. I don't know what I am ultimately going to do to earn a living, but I sort of like the idea of being a maid in a hotel. It's physical, and therefore will keep me in shape. It's fast paced, and therefore will keep me engaged, and most importantly, I don't think I'd have to deal with a whole lot of people. I don't need a lot of money as long as I can make a modest living, I should be ok.



Knofskia
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16 Jun 2017, 3:33 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
I clean houses. It's hard work and has no status, nobody's impressed and in social encounters if I have to say what I do, people feel sorry for me, which I hate. But I've made a living from it and it's the only thing I've been able to hang in there with.

My aunt cleans houses; my father installs appliances; my mother has been a stay-at-home mom my whole life. I am as proud of them as I am of anyone else in my family, because they are hard workers. Job status is so arbitrary.


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PhoenixRain
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22 Jun 2017, 9:36 am

I work full time in a cubicle. I get to do tasks that require a lot of analytical thinking (which I love) and spreadsheets (which apparently is my special interest). The things I hate about it are when people in other cubicles clip their nails at work (who does that??) and the fact that we have a small workout room on our floor of the building and when they pump up their music while I'm working (I have misophonia), I can't concentrate and I get really upset. There's also a LOT of office politics, like where I have to spend time writing and re-writing emails to make sure I don't use any "trigger words" or I write the email in a way that caters to that certain person. I'd rather just say what I need to say, ask that person to do what I need them to do, and get it over with. Ugh, just so much office drama and politics. But it's the best job I've had because I actually enjoy what I do for the most part and get paid a decent amount and am allowed to work from home two days a week (which helps with some of the office noise issues). I do feel miserable sometimes, like if I get bored, or I'm doing something I don't enjoy, or the office drama is just too much because drama NEVER made sense to me. People overreact to everything and it's honestly ridiculous.


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TheSilentOne
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22 Jun 2017, 12:51 pm

I work part-time, only about 12-18 hours a week in a library. I'm usually sorting and shelving books or helping people find things they are looking for. Sometimes, I help out people who are using the computers too. I worked retail and food service before (specifically Kmart, Dairy Queen, Dunkin' Donuts, and a few other places) and was unsuccessful in all of those jobs. I like the library job, there isn't much drama, it is quiet, and there aren't bright lights or anything else to give me problems.


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SubtleCow
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22 Jun 2017, 1:23 pm

I have definitely struggled, but I am also very fortunate.

I took to IT like a fish to water, so I usually have a job, and because of my comp-sci experience people expect me to be a little eccentric. But I also have serious performance anxiety so I always apply to jobs I'm overqualified for. Deskwork and Admin jobs in IT centric organizations.

I can't interview for beans, always appearing overly awkward or strange. The only jobs I have ever had are ones where people hired me because I was strange in the interview, not because of any of my qualifications.

The social aspect is a nightmare. Even in basic admin IT jobs office politics are total horse turds. I had to admit I have a disability due to the student contract I was hired under. I get constantly talked down to, either because I'm just an admin in a tech field, a woman, or someone with a disability. People constantly speak for me without verifying my opinion or POV first, misrepresenting me and my goals to the people who will (hopefully) hire me as a full employee. And the one person I trusted enough to disclose my ASD to now treats me like a infantile incompetent and throws a hissy fit whenever I correct her on anything. It's infuriating and I'm hoping being a full employee will finally give me the right to stand up for myself.

Oh and my anger management issues don't help with any of the above.

Becomming an entrepreneur is definitely my end goal, but I need an income while I make my business plan. 8)



Amity
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27 Jun 2017, 3:51 pm

Ive had lots of jobs, started part time work while in school and its something Im glad of because I had the experience of making most of my work related mistakes as a teenager. Now I work in education and have been fairly successful, but a secure position is something that still eludes me and Im getting tired of the pressure from contract work.



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05 Jul 2017, 6:17 am

Amity wrote:
Ive had lots of jobs, but a secure position is something that still eludes me and Im getting tired of the pressure from contract work.


I wish there was some non experienced contract work like what you do as it would help me find and keep employment.
Volunteering in schools should be a good option for me and one i'd like to do, or even just a day school, but their are so many checks that include references, its put me off. As well as long hours. I don't know if the site DO-IT is in the states, but they are so multi-skilled and multi-tasked, its like studying the tusks off a white elephant or wooly mammoth.



Amity
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06 Jul 2017, 1:18 pm

Empathy wrote:
Amity wrote:
Ive had lots of jobs, but a secure position is something that still eludes me and Im getting tired of the pressure from contract work.


I wish there was some non experienced contract work like what you do as it would help me find and keep employment.
Volunteering in schools should be a good option for me and one i'd like to do, or even just a day school, but their are so many checks that include references, its put me off. As well as long hours. I don't know if the site DO-IT is in the states, but they are so multi-skilled and multi-tasked, its like studying the tusks off a white elephant or wooly mammoth.

I don't live in the states, but the site do-it seems like a good place to find voluntary work. The education/health/care background checks are thorough, but I found the process easier after the first time, as it's nearly all the same information for every application. From what I recall DBS checks are pricey, but many organisations pay the cost for volunteers.



kraftiekortie
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06 Jul 2017, 2:49 pm

If you're applying to any job, really, the applicant doesn't cover the cost of the background checks, from my experience.

I've never had to cover any costs of that.



This_Amoeba
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06 Jul 2017, 3:55 pm

Bad. I've only had 2 jobs in my 28 years being alive. My last job sucked. The manager sexually harassed me constantly because I was quiet. It was in fast food so the sensory overload and constant forced socialization gave me migraines just about everyday. It was that job that made me become addicted to opiates to cope. I quit. Now slowly but surely I'm completing school so I can work by myself in a medical lab. I think it will be a good fit for me in the future.



Empathy
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06 Jul 2017, 5:45 pm

Amity wrote:
I don't live in the states, but the site do-it seems like a good place to find voluntary work.. From what I recall DBS checks are pricey, but many organisations pay the cost for volunteers.


Well, that's what I thought at first, but it isnt. If you want to access charity work for example, you have to go via the site. Of course, for many of them I have done just that, but the latest one in a long line of portfolios requires the individual to pay for DBS themselves and this costs around forty pounds. I am shocked to learn my last placement is now going down the same route, whereas before, willingness, enthusiasm and flexibility, was all that mattered.
I admit to feeling out of my comfort zone, but it was just cleaning to me, even though some of the volunteers had, I feel,difficult issues. My last avenue was computer class helper, but I'm stumped by the references i need to provide, plus where it is situated and walking around a big city with a money tin, is a penchant for disaster from theives.
I can teach a few old dogs some tricks, but I can't ever forsee my aging english teacher to understand the c.v positive implemenation it would have on me. She got pushy, so we fell out, two years ago, i never spoke to her directly again. Of course, these interfering busybodies may have been key to things, but they just can't ever forsake their pride and ego and petty differences to benefit someone else, of a lesser stature than them. For f***s sake we can't all join the Red Cross, the wounded are being fixed in Afghanistan rather than at home anyway, and I'm good with a first aid kit. Ask anyone.