Aspie women: how is your workforce experience?

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Empathy
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06 Jul 2017, 5:45 pm

Amity wrote:
I don't live in the states, but the site do-it seems like a good place to find voluntary work.. From what I recall DBS checks are pricey, but many organisations pay the cost for volunteers.


Well, that's what I thought at first, but it isnt. If you want to access charity work for example, you have to go via the site. Of course, for many of them I have done just that, but the latest one in a long line of portfolios requires the individual to pay for DBS themselves and this costs around forty pounds. I am shocked to learn my last placement is now going down the same route, whereas before, willingness, enthusiasm and flexibility, was all that mattered.
I admit to feeling out of my comfort zone, but it was just cleaning to me, even though some of the volunteers had, I feel,difficult issues. My last avenue was computer class helper, but I'm stumped by the references i need to provide, plus where it is situated and walking around a big city with a money tin, is a penchant for disaster from theives.
I can teach a few old dogs some tricks, but I can't ever forsee my aging english teacher to understand the c.v positive implemenation it would have on me. She got pushy, so we fell out, two years ago, i never spoke to her directly again. Of course, these interfering busybodies may have been key to things, but they just can't ever forsake their pride and ego and petty differences to benefit someone else, of a lesser stature than them. For f***s sake we can't all join the Red Cross, the wounded are being fixed in Afghanistan rather than at home anyway, and I'm good with a first aid kit. Ask anyone.



lidsmichelle
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10 Jul 2017, 9:43 am

Weirdly I do well in retail. I've been at the same store for almost a year now, started as a cake decorator which I hated, worked in fitting room which was a job I was fantastic at (the best one we had) and loved, and now I'm working produce which I would like more if my department manager didn't expect me to somehow be fast enough to make up for how many incompetent new people we have. I'm one of the fastest people in our area, f**k off.


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EverythingAndNothing
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10 Jul 2017, 11:35 am

I work self-employed as a personal trainer and I've found this experience to be both positive and negative. The good part is that it's in a field that I'm passionate about and being self-employed means that I can work less hours and I have more time to recoup when I do happen to get stressed out. The bad part is that I get extremely anxious when it comes to going out and marketing myself and, because of this, I find myself unable to expand my business as I would like to.

I've worked other part time jobs prior to this and never had too many issues except that I never really fit in that well with co-workers. I'm very lucky to have always been able to make enough money without having to rely on a full time job because I honestly don't know how well I would deal with the stress. I seem to need an excessive amount of time every day to destress and recharge in order to not go completely insane.



hale_bopp
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14 Oct 2017, 1:44 am

It's not easy.

It's really hard to explain why you have meltdowns twice a month. It's very easily to feel betrayed and isolated, and very easy to feel like you don't belong.

I've had meltdown problems at every job I've ever done because it's often to do with the lacking of social abilities that other people don't have.

I've always wanted to work for myself, because to be honest, I can't cope with all the workplace politics, dynamics and cliques.



hurtloam
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14 Oct 2017, 3:03 am

I've finally found somewhere I fit in. I do admin (im general dogsbody) and i work with scientists and I'm finding I get on ok with the women here. It's really different to what I've been used to.



auxetoiless
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10 Dec 2017, 3:02 am

Are you able to keep a job?

I've never been fired. There have been a couple of occasions where myself and my direct manager have taken a dislike to each other (one part-time job during uni, one temp job at a company where I'm pretty sure hope went to die - I've never seen so many miserable, angry people in one office). Every other time I've left a job, it's been my choice.

What do you do?

Nowadays I work in project management/project support. I've been doing a specialty role that not many people have experience in, and it's quite complex and demanding (a lot of competing priorities to juggle, a lot of problem solving that involves both research and (eep) talking to a lot of different people).

I've previously worked in IT, education, a couple of call centres, lots of temp admin roles, and retails jobs when I was still a student.

Are you successful at your career?

Ehhh, not by my high standards, but I have a nice little niche and the pay is pretty good.

Do you work part time or full time?

FT. I dream of going part time, but the nature of the work I do really won't allow it, sadly. The hours and the sheer volume of social interaction involved most days is wearing me down, and I can feel autistic burnout creeping up on me. Ugh.

How are things like with your co workers ?

Okay at the moment. I have a lot of trouble with social signals, and my current boss is less... direct, I suppose, that previous managers in what she wants from me. Trying to figure out the meaning behind her words, tone of voice and body language can leave me really anxious some days. Trying to get her on side and keep her there is probably the biggest issue I have - far more than my actual work. :roll:

But I've developed a pretty good rapport with others in the office (thank you, trusty NT-mask!). It's not 'real' to me, and I often feel quite empty/drained as a result. Occasionally, when I'm in the midst of trying to solve something complex, my mask slips and it's hello flat affect. I've mostly passed this off as being "tired" or "feeling a bit off". Works a treat.


A couple of caveats:

Although I work full time, I do so as a contractor, and usually negotiate a fixed term with my boss and/or HR upfront. I don't disclose my autism, but instead use other reasons why I can't stick around permanently.

I can't work for more than a year without having a massive breakdown (as I used to call it) or autistic burnout (as I now recognise in hindsight I was experiencing). I work, on average, 9 months a year. The rest of the time is spent recuperating and recalibrating my sensory system and emotional landscape, and (if money allows) travelling a bit.

Working like I do is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting, and I'm usually a wreck once I get home and switch off the mask. It also means I don't engage in my creative hobbies/special interests, which then leads to escalating anxiety and frustration. And then I start to spiral.

So yeah, I'm fortunate in some ways (having the capacity to work and make decent money) not so much in others (pretending to be NT leads to being subjected to NT standards and expectations, which I can't handle long term).