Do aspie women not use their feminine wiles like NT women?

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Jaylynna
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10 Sep 2016, 1:14 am

Well, every Aspie woman is different, but for me I would say that I would feel incredibly guilty using feminine wiles to get my way. So no, I don't use them. I've never even cried to get out of a ticket, but somehow have gotten let off easy anyways.

As for flirting, I am of the type who is hyper-sexual, so flirting is something I do (and do well) when I've been drinking.

I find that in normal, everyday life I tend to get along so much better with NT men than NT women, so my intense interest in conversations with men have been misinterpreted as flirting. But the fact is, when I am genuinely sexually attracted to a man I become so awkward that it essentially scares the subject of my attraction away. So, the only ways in which I have ever been successful in finding a sexual partner (or even a boyfriend, for that matter!) was in a context where I, and everyone else, is drinking (so men don't notice my social hangups), or through online "friends with benefits" setups, where there is no need for a suave buildup (there's no pretense: both parties know what they are there for). In fact, every boyfriend I've had has started off as a FWB setup, and the guys end up wanting something more (maybe because once we've gotten to pillow talk, having totally ditched the awkward and contrived first stages, they realize I'm not like most girls and that's what they like about me).

I think flirting and wiles are different, anywho. Wiles to me denotes manipulation, whereas flirting just conveys interest.


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friedmacguffins
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10 Sep 2016, 12:48 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
... being chivalrous to women.


I think showing common courtesy is just that. You might treat someone like an everyday, ordinary, human being, just to be practical or to show that you're not menacing.

Women think it's a show of interest.

If you elevate them, they think it's a show of subservience.

And, when they're interested, they're so self-deprecating, so masochistic and neurotic, that they'll willingly wreck themselves for your attention. (I've seen them lying about liking spicy things, weird sexual stuff, if they think I want that, and talking suicide. 8O 8O 8O )

I frankly had no problem with courtly love, like you might see in some Disney movie or fairytale, but people don't really act that way.

It's always along the lines of absolute submission or absolute dominance.

Like I said, altruism would have been adequate, like where you give someone flowers, offer your coat, or not let the door slam on someone. I'm getting an attitude like that's too corny, anachronistic, or forced. They are somewhat comfortable with being used, if not the dominant party.