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AspieGuy4210
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12 Aug 2016, 10:24 am

I often get a lot of statements that people say never give up, never quit, or keep going. However, realistically, there must be a limit, or a certain time where it is truly time to give up an activity or pursuing something if it doesn't work out. This limit is what prevents wasting additional time and resources for no gain.

If people followed the actual advice of never giving up, quitting, to the absolute, without discretion or question, then that is setting up for a disaster, not to mention a circular logical trap.

A few life examples, but not limited to relationships necessarily, are hobbies, activities, investments, and even a specific course of action for a problem.

Example 1:
Someone tries a specific sport, for this example, I will say basketball. The person is just not fit not cut out for the sport and he/she has already tried it time and time again, however, his/her body just isn't cut out for it or lacks the ability to be really good. There should be a time where ok, if the person has done all that he/she can, and whatever problem that he/she has cannot be resolved, then it would be safe to just throw in the towel and say basketball isn't for him/her.

Example 2:
An entrepreneur started a business and invested quite a bit of money, let's say about 30% of his/her total assets, which is about 20k or so and after a few months, the startup is not going anywhere fast, he/she has made many business changes as well as consulted other business experts (whoever knows what to do) for advice and help. Things are just not improving. When the startup is already on it's last legs, the owner decides to try once more, another 10k or so to improve the situation, and so far, it has done nothing. The startup is still sinking just as quickly. Had the owner continued to follow said advice of keep going, never give up, the owner would have gone into great debt, had to file bankrupt, and a slew of other financial, social consequences that ensure. Of course, there is a tiny, tiny chance of some miracle occurring at the least expected moment, but the odds of such things happening are so low that it is not worth the risk of going bankrupt.

Example 3:
A college graduate majored in a field with terrible job prospects and upon graduation, he/she could not find a position that is related or remotely related to his/her field of study. Instead of going to a different field or while taking a day job, he/she keeps trying land a position that has near zero chance. While it is admirable that someone will go to great lengths to pursue that goal, doing so is foolish if one does not consider the odds or the amount of time/money already invested into finding that position.

There are more examples but I think it is safe to say the bottom line is that it is foolish to "literally" never give up and keep going, while wasting time, effort, resources trying to score something there. For me, if I put a certain amount of time, effort, and resources into pursuing something and I know it isn't going anywhere fast or working out, then it is a sign that I should just quit/move on.



TheZachadoodle
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12 Aug 2016, 2:11 pm

You are honestly going through the same issues I am as well.

I keep on trying to explain like that and use examples, metaphors, and similies.

I found out one thing after reading this we both can use to help both of our situations.

Tell the most you can without trying to give an illustration. Both you and me are dealing with brashness issues and if you can not tell an illustration honestly then the other person does not know anything.

It made me look weak a lot in life for me to try to brashfully explain things, I pissed several people off.

Many people off. I was like you right not, giving a lengthy amount of info and just hoping I could get to that freaking point.

Like you, I got passed off and spat on many times. Many times and I got told I was not doing right and I was lying to myself many times.

Just quit trying to illustrate everything, tell it as it is and leave the conclusions to people in conversations.

If anything more so than anything today you helped me as much as I am trying to help you.

I can tell just by looking at your writing you perhaps were name called and insulted and called many things you wished you were not.

I can also tell that if I was one of your friends I would feel obligated to leave immediately.

But you need to quit doing this in conversations. This is what your words are like ALL the time:

*Picture while speaking to someone you draw a picture of the answer rather than give it to them.

Do you see it? Visualize it.

You may need to take this rough journey in English and try to look at your dictionary and try to get some English Grammar in your vocabulary and speech.


Honestly I am like you, I look like an idiot, a rambler, and a disgrace no matter what way.



TheZachadoodle
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12 Aug 2016, 2:14 pm

Keep on moving in life and you are going to make it even though it feels like everyday you are getting stoned by people.



BTDT
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12 Aug 2016, 3:34 pm

I checked this with one of my NT co-workers. It is considered inappropriate to tell someone he is too stupid to reach his goal(s). No matter how certain you are of that opinion.



AspieGuy4210
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12 Aug 2016, 4:34 pm

TheZach,

Ok, I don't know what the hell you are trying to tell me, but it looks like you are attacking me for simply asking a question. Not only did you not really address my topic or question, but rather went on to an attack, gas-lighting me, criticizing my English speaking skills and grammar, and you're right, I would not want to be your friend either if that was how you responded to my complaints. Sorry if that came out harsh, but you're right I'm tired of the bullshit optimistic crap attitude and the empty statements that most people seem to throw about for things that (based on reality) most likely will NOT work out.

So I'll just restate my question (without illustrations).

When is it a good time to just give something up, quit, or move on from something?



TheZachadoodle
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12 Aug 2016, 4:59 pm

You seriously viewed me sarcastically saying:

"Hey guys can't we all get along?"


f**k YOU



MjrMajorMajor
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12 Aug 2016, 5:09 pm

In the three examples, I came up with three different answers so I guess it depends on your end goal.

Example 1: If he's playing for enjoyment, why stop? Giving up NBA dreams is different than giving up a sport.

Example 2: He should give up the start up business. It's about financial responsibility and judging the market for your services.

Example 3: If the day job covers the bills, then it shouldn't be much sacrifice to aim for that dream job. If it doesn't happen, you're still in the same place.

Without all the variables, there is no correct answer.



AspieGuy4210
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13 Aug 2016, 12:10 am

Thanks for answering my question MjrMajorMajor. :)

I like your answer to the first scenario, like it seems that a major/above the top goal may be out of reach, but for the fun of the sport, the person still continues playing for his/her personal enjoyment. And yes, I know those examples still have some loose variables and yes, there are more factors in real life to consider as well. I think I may have also found an answer based on your response, it is also up the person to decide on his/her own whether he/she should keep going or just stop and aim for something lower, maybe perhaps try something else.



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13 Aug 2016, 1:57 am

my way to look at it is: don't look back, only look ahead. if you've been doing something for 50 years with no concrete results, but, even in light of all the evidence that you've gathered over the years, you still believe that it benefits you right now to keep trying, then keep trying. if you don't feel beat up, then the fact that you haven't achieved concrete results in 50 years is irrelevant. conversely, if you've been devoting yourself to something for 50 years, but you don't see any way how it can benefit you anymore, then stop doing it

the key element is: "if it benefits you to keep trying". if you're trying something, and there's only one possible way for you to gain anything from it, and failure to achieve it means no gain at all, then in my opinion that means something is wrong with the endeavor itself, or at least with the way you're looking at it, regardless if you've been trying for 50 years or if you haven't even started yet


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AspieGuy4210
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13 Aug 2016, 7:00 pm

Wow that is actually a good point anagram! :) I never considered that, sometimes if people have satisfaction from attempting an activity even with no fruit bore or results, but if they enjoy it enough, then they would keep going. So far, in most of my life, if something doesn't bear fruit, then it wouldn't bring me much satisfaction so I would not want to continue it, but for others I suppose it works so all the more power to them.