Online dating is pointless as a guy

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And are you happy? You sure do take a lot of interest in this subject. If you don't have a partner and you're not looking for one, what draws you to these threads?

She isnt the only one.

There are plenty of women who come here who are completely content being single and seem absolutely baffled that there are so many single lonely men (and some lonely women) here who hate their situation.

They don't understand and never will.

I am here to try to understand and maybe even give some help if I can.
I am a lifelong learner so these things interest me.
Relationships is something I am particularly interested in because it is also my job.
So this is my reason and I cannot speak for other women.

Other people on here with other perspectives can be helpful because it is worth pondering other ways of looking at a situation with fresh eyes. I think this site is very therapeutic for some people while other just want to be heard and nothing else.

Its just been my experiences their most common advice is "learn to be happy being on your own" when they rarely had to try, they were just naturally the type of person who is content being alone. Some arent so lucky.

They assume its as easy for others as it is for them.

Its not bad advice but its also not applicable to everyones life.

Some of the time I enjoy being single. Some of the time. It gives me a lot of time to spend by myself and I like being by myself. I find it very relaxing.

Then again sometimes I want a partner. Even though having a girlfriend can be very stressful at times, it can be fun as well.

I think the fact that they are here (either in this subforum or on dating sites) is a clue that they are not truly happy.

HAHA I actually cut this line from my original message. I have no doubt she tells everyone how horrible I am for:

Breaking up via text/email (after she threw a violent temper the first two times I tried to do it privately and never apologized: I once actually debated slipping a gas station clerk a note to call 911 and stop my car)
Dumping her stuff in her parent's driveway (after she refused to take it back or arrange to have it picked up),
Throwing her out of my apartment (after she nearly got me evicted)
Yelling at her repeatedly and even threatening her (guilty, but nearly every sane person would have eventually done the same. Never mind how she used to throw stuff all the time.)
How 'greedy' I was for demanding monetary compensation after a few months (never mind she lived 40+km away)
Other adult stuff (where she was the 'aggressor', not me.)

I saw her brother and father at a hockey game last year (I swear I really do other activities!!) and made sure not to be anywhere alone around them as no doubt they think I am a complete monster. I will also never forget this summer I was walking with my wife and spotted her on my street. I quickly jumped into my car like a sniper was after me. My wife commented "you are being ridiculous" to which I replied "spoken by a sane, normal, healthy woman". She cyber-stalked her for a couple of YEARS after the breakup and I wouldn't put anything past her. Turns out she probably doesn't know I live there and is dating someone a couple of streets over. I have to resist saying to the new guy (who looks quite normal) ""hey, call me if you need to be bailed out of jail". Poor guy has no idea what he is in for once she 'splits' on him.

In short, she would NEVER get a date from a 'normal' man if she didn't go online with their skewed gender ratios. I still shake my head at women with inflated egos demanding the world and offering almost nothing in return... and men still continue to date them.

And I'll bet people believe every word she says.

I completely agree with you Outrider, we are all different with our intimacy needs.

Yes, I am someone who can be content with long periods of being alone but I know plenty of people who cannot stand being in their own company for too long.

And yes generic advice does not apply to all no matter how sensible it sounds.

Each of us have our own individual needs.

My heart goes out to anyone who is struggling with loneliness. It is something which is not discussed enough, including the impact it has on ones mental health. Whenever I read a therapy book it is mostly about sadness and fear or depression and anxiety. Very seldom is loneliness given the weight it deserves and the suffering caused by it.

I hope you guys realise you are educating me and this may help someone else in the future.

Flower shop always made it look nice too. They’d add some green stuff and flowers, then wrap it all with green paper and a cup of water in the bottom for the stem, then tie a bow around it

Don’t you know there’s a man shortage. There’s noe real men. In their eyes there’s 5 women to every man. They are so delusional as there’s 3,000 more men here and men are everywhere. They just created the perfect guy in their head and won’t even acknowledge any man who doesn’t meet that as even existing.

Least you have a good job and stuff so you meet a lot of women’s idea guy requirements.

I’m definitely not looking. I’m saving for a house for myself only, so I’m serious about it. I come in here because I find the topic interesting. It’s not because I want a date.

Human romance is one of the very interesting topics about human social dynamics. I’ve dabbled in dating sites iver the years but didn’t take them that seriously. I’ve since deleted all my profiles.

Last edited by hale_bopp on 08 Nov 2017, 1:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Because it’s the most interesting topic? Does anybody really come in here to get dates out of this sub-forum?

Yikes. That’s tricky, thank god you are out of it. Sounds like a basket case.

True. Loneliness can have a massive impact on mental health. To make matters worse lonely people also have to put up with people calling them creeps and losers. That almost seems like victim blaming.

Does sound like he is better out of it.

There are women out there that give the rest of us a bad name, just as there are men out there that give the rest of them a bad name.