Terrified of growing up

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I recently hit 18 and I realised how much I do not want to grow up. Being a kid, people are usually willing to accept that you're a little weird and just move on, but being an adult in the working world you're just expected to be normal.

I'm terrified of the idea of being independent: cooking for myself, living alone, managing finances and time and hygeine. Let alone having dependents! I just want to be a kid forever, so I can be my weird self without worrying all the time.

Does anyone else have this fear? Is there any hope for those who have been forced to grow up?

That sounds just like me when I turned 18. I tried being an "adult" for a while but I just sort of gave up on it, and the only reason I can live the life I do without having to live with anyone else is because I'm on disability. Getting on disability isn't easy though; you pretty much have to prove you're too disabled (or incompetent) for the workforce. They basically put me on disability not because I can't work, but because no one would want to hire me. I tried the job thing back in 2014, and while it was an interesting experience I learned a lot from, it ultimately didn't work out.

I hated "growing up". I disliked the "forced change" imposed on me by my parents and the world at large. This, beginning when I was about 5 or 6. I remember reading "Catcher in the Rye" when I was 14 and really resonating with Holden Caulfield. At age 53, I sometimes still wonder if I have ever truly "grown up".

Depending on your mind, capabilities and ambitions, you can kind of 'opt out' of some of the things that come with growing up.

All through high school and college I was aware that my peers were 'growing up' and I was not. I don't understand the motivation to do grown up things, and so I don't do a lot of them. I've had a job since I was 16, because the independence that the money gives me actually allows me to make my own choices in other areas of my life. Apart from that though, I haven't taken on any of the rites of passage associated with growing up. I don't drink, I don't date (I'm asexual), I don't drive (I cycle everywhere), I'm still into the same stuff I always was. I tried living on my own but I couldn't look after myself, which honestly came as a real surprise. I think too much changed in a short space of time and I just got overwhelmed. I'm building myself back up now, doing the unavoidable things required to get where I want to be in life (studying, working, paying rent to my parents) and avoiding the elements of growing up that I deem unnecessary or unsuitable.

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I'm terrified of growing up, too. >.< I have no idea how to be independent. My mom keeps saying she should put me in therapy to see if they can help me gain some skills for independent living, but she never actually does anything and I don't feel any more prepared for adulthood than I did when I was twelve years old.

I have no idea what kind of career I want (they all sound super stressful), and I can't imagine how I would survive a job interview. I somehow managed to get a driver's license, but I have a phobia of driving, and also of riding a bike. I am extremely attached to my current home and I'm pretty sure that if I moved out I would suffer from homesickness.

My adult friend with Asperger's says that growing up won't be as bad as I think it is; I am trying to see things from his point of view. But I still feel hopeless. >.<

Hello, I am 17 years old currently and I have Asperger's Syndrome. I feel you on the whole terrified of 'growing up' ordeal. I honestly don't know what to expect from growing up, but I'll recommend to you what I've been doing to try and deal with this looming fear. Just don't think about the fear. I know this is probably an extremely hard thing to do (seeing as how it has come for you) but the worst thing you could do is panic about the situation. Panicking is not useful and at present, instead of panicking, you have to identify what you want to do with your life. Growing up, as I can see it, is where you take your life by the reins and steer it in whichever direction you want.

First step: Identify that direction. If you can figure out where you wish to take your life, you can then narrow it down to steps in which to achieve that direction. I also suggest you ask authority figure (parents, guardians, etc) on how to transition and what to expect.

Second Step: Take the appropriate measures to help steer your life in the preferred direction. This is a step by step process to ultimately achieve your end goal by identifying possible actions which can lead you closer to your desired destination.

These are very broad suggestions and based on your circumstances, they may vary differently, but these are the general guidelines to try and point you in the right direction. I hope this has helped you in some shape, form, or fashion.

Do you have a proper family or other support system until you can get a bit sorted out?

What are you good at or enjoy which can be a basis for a future career path or possible self employment? Many people have been able to make their hobbies or interests into a paying proposition!

Not all working environments are quite as rigid as in the past. Some types of environments, the more creative ones, encourage one to be different.

I've now decided since losing my last full time position, that normal office occupations are not for me and that I need to find a way to get my chief hobby, namely writing, to become remunerative.

I'm the opposite.
Almost every person my age I know talks about how they're scared of growing up, but I've never felt like that. On the contrary, I couldn't wait until I was old enough to do my own thing, drive, go to university and study what I liked instead of having to keep track of a lot of subjects I didn't care about, cook what I wanted and eat when I wanted (which I still can't do, as I live with my parents). I can't wait 'till I find some small job (I'm currently looking for it, but it's much easier said than done) and can gain at least some money...

Don't misunderstand, it's not like I'm a very responsible and mature person (I'm actually not very mature...), but probably I am like this because to me childhood is just a period when adults force you to do what they want (or at least it was like that for me when I was a child), so I guess that's why I am way more happy now...

I feel the same way, and have since I was about 13-14. My mother doesn't understand and laughs, but I really don't want things to change. I want to go play at lunch time, with my friends/sports- not sitting around talking as teens my age are expected to. I don't want to grow up at all and my older siblings also think I'm quite hopeless in life skills as well, though I feel they exaggerate greatly . I don't want to leave school, or the structure of teachers and students. It feels like time is running out for this special period of time, and I haven't realised just how special it was for such a large part of it, until now when it's almost gone. The regret xD

I know how you feel. School provided a framework for a way of life which I found good despite the drawbacks such as teasing. Yet I cried on the last day of school just as I had on the first day age 6.

You are not alone. I had the same feelings when I was 18 and I still have those feelings at 23. From what I can tell you, it really doesn't get any easier. I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I go to college and work part-time, but I have no idea what the rest of my life is going to be like. I don't know how to cook, I hate change, I procrastinate, I don't know how to budget and save money, I have very limited interests, and there are so many other things that I just don't know how to do. It sucks. I have always hated growing up. Even as a little kid. I have never understood it myself. Life only gets harder as you grow and get older. I have never had any desire for adult things. I enjoy a lot of the same things I enjoyed as a kid. I don't know what the answers are. I'm still trying to figure things out and I feel like I am no more closer than I was when I was 12.