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TomS
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14 Sep 2016, 6:22 am

I have to answer in the past tense, but yes I absolutely did desire a partner. For me it was like the missing piece to make up for my lack of social needs. Or put another way it was the one social need I had and desired. And finding a partner met the need and still does.



Biscuitman
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14 Sep 2016, 9:09 am

been married 3 years, together for 17.

I think I found the one person that suits me. we both want our own space a lot and we so we both give each other space. We joke that our perfect set up would be houses next door to each other, one for me, one for her, and we would pop in now and again to say hello but that is friend of mind says we look like mates who happen to share a house! :lol:



johnnyh
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14 Sep 2016, 9:24 am

Why yes I would but I know better than to deprive a woman of emotional connection due to my poor communication and empathizing abilities. It doesn't matter how much I care and love her, relationships require understanding!....

Also the sheer stress of having to know how to care about another person when I am clueless and the poorness of my ability to maintain anything and my lack of motivation etc. would only land me in a painful living hell of failure.


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nurseangela
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14 Sep 2016, 9:55 am

Biscuitman wrote:
been married 3 years, together for 17.

I think I found the one person that suits me. we both want our own space a lot and we so we both give each other space. We joke that our perfect set up would be houses next door to each other, one for me, one for her, and we would pop in now and again to say hello but that is friend of mind says we look like mates who happen to share a house! :lol:


Omg! I know I'm NT, but this is the perfect setup that I would want. I love having my own bed, being able to exercise, control of the tv remote, what music I listen to and what personal decor I want to put out. But I'd love to have a Hunny (married of course) that lived next door so we could go out on dates, travel and have "sleep overs". :mrgreen: I need my study time and when I come home I just want to go to bed - sleep is very important to me. A lot of times I need an afternoon nap too since my sleep is so broken up.


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Biscuitman
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14 Sep 2016, 10:20 am

nurseangela wrote:
Biscuitman wrote:
been married 3 years, together for 17.

I think I found the one person that suits me. we both want our own space a lot and we so we both give each other space. We joke that our perfect set up would be houses next door to each other, one for me, one for her, and we would pop in now and again to say hello but that is friend of mind says we look like mates who happen to share a house! :lol:


Omg! I know I'm NT, but this is the perfect setup that I would want. I love having my own bed, being able to exercise, control of the tv remote, what music I listen to and what personal decor I want to put out. But I'd love to have a Hunny (married of course) that lived next door so we could go out on dates, travel and have "sleep overs". :mrgreen: I need my study time and when I come home I just want to go to bed - sleep is very important to me. A lot of times I need an afternoon nap too since my sleep is so broken up.


We spend 3-4 evenings a week apart as she goes out to see friends and when we are both in together I am usually upstairs and she is downstairs. it just works for us, too much of anyone else drives us both a bit crazy (she is NT, and quite sociable too, just someone who needs time alone to wind down)

I can see us when we are old having a large house divided in 2, seperate bedrooms etc. it would genuinely be the perfect set up for us.



mikeman7918
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14 Sep 2016, 1:12 pm

I go back and fourth on this. I'm aromantic and asexual, so if I did have a relationship then it would just be platonic. On one hand it would be nice to have one best friend above the rest that I can live with and maybe even raise (adopted) kids with, but on the other hand independence is nice and I would have a hard time maintaining a relationship.


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aviva
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14 Sep 2016, 1:56 pm

Not really. Never say never, but I have never liked anyone that way (been "in love"), I have even had any romantic or sexual feelings towards anyone (I have tried sex a couple of times but I didn't like it and I never even think it). And I can't really imagine life with someone else. If i had a relationship maybe I'd still like to live apart, because I need my own space and privacy. But why would I like to have a partner when I don't want sex or romantic or share my life with anyone? Maybe it's not for me.

Still I have a normative image in my mind of how a human life should go, and a a partner, marriage and family is part of it... And in some way I'd like to have children. Blah. Too difficult. So far I have been fine alone.



FluttercordAspie93
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14 Sep 2016, 2:19 pm

I personally do.



slw1990
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14 Sep 2016, 10:04 pm

Yes I do, but it's very difficult for me to find a mutual interest. I would also want to be with someone who I can relate to and trust, but it seems like it's hard to find someone like that.



CockneyRebel
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14 Sep 2016, 11:54 pm

I'm quite happy to stay single. I'd be giving up a lot in order to be in a relationship like my freedom and self expression.


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beakybird
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15 Sep 2016, 2:58 am

I sort of require it. I don't cope well without a woman in my life. I mean, I'll live but really just not be happy, like ever, unless I have a partner. I've been in a relationship for 19.5 of the last 21 years of my life spanning three relationships with the last being my marriage which including dating was 12 years. Even the day my ex wife first told me we were done for good, that very night I went online and found a girl with whom I could have easily jumped into another relationship with and I'd literally have been single three hours, but instead I stopped seeing her after two times because I was still caught up in working s**t out with my ex, which didnt work again...

So yes. Badly.



BlankReg
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15 Sep 2016, 11:38 am

I wanted to marry my first g/f when I was 12. 35 years later, after having lost touch with each other (but never breaking up officially) we got back together. She is responsible for me seeking (and receiving) my diagnosis and despite being hurt and puzzled by my behavior at first has been the most supportive, loving, devoted, and kind partner I could imagine. More than that, she's the best friend I ever had.

I wish for everyone who wants one to find a partner who "gets" them and supports them, and that it can be a mutually wonderful relationship-- romantic/sexual or not. I especially wish it for my fellow spectrumites because it is easily the most wonderful thing that has happened to me.

Sorry if I sound maudlin, it's not my intention, but the difference my partner has made in my life is simply astounding and humbling.


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TheSilentOne
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15 Sep 2016, 4:22 pm

I'm not sure. It would have to be with someone really understanding and accepting of me. I'm not actively looking for a relationship, but if one happens, then that would be nice.


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nikkiDT
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15 Sep 2016, 4:39 pm

TheSilentOne wrote:
I'm not sure. It would have to be with someone really understanding and accepting of me. I'm not actively looking for a relationship, but if one happens, then that would be nice.





I feel the same way. Some days, I want a boyfriend. Other days, I want nothing more than to stay single forever. But I'm open to the possibility.



Claradoon
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15 Sep 2016, 4:45 pm

nobodycaresaboutme wrote:
i just want to stop being scape goated neglected and bullied
i can barely eat anymore
it's always my fault for some reason, i have autism and tourretes and people just blame me like im the institute from fallout 4

Tell somebody in authority! I finally did - after 60 years of being bullied by various people in all situations - and the problem disappeared! This is lately. It was *so* hard to tell it. But that's the advice every time I look for some. And lo and behold, I am now welcome.

Please do try it - tell somebody in authority!



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15 Sep 2016, 5:01 pm

There’s nothing I’ve wanted more since I was about fourteen, when I had my first crush. Of course, it was way, way too early for me to be allowed to have a partner back then, so I waited and waited and have been waiting ever since. I’ll only know I’m no longer too young when I’m sure I’m far too old, which I arguably already am for my purposes.


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