Calvin and Hobbes Comics About Socially Awkward Kid

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Over on a Star Trek thread, Meistersinger, Kuraudo777 and Auntblabby introduced me to Calvin and Hobbes. It made sense in context. You'll just have to trust me on that one.

Unfortunately, I can't read the comics unless someone can find scripts. I'm blind and can't see the graphics that are the stuff of comics.

Auntblabby said maybe he'd share a couple of scenes, Kuraudo said to post a thread, and here we are.

I'll share my favourite ones!

In this one, Calvin is wearing a blanket as a superhero cape, and he dramatically announces: "This is a job for...!" Then he trips and gets rolled up in the blanket so much that he can't even move, and Hobbes asks, "For...?" Calvin replies in a disgruntled fashion, "Someone else."


In this one, Calvin asks his teacher: "Given the pace of technology, I propose that we leave math to the machines and go play outside." I often thought along those lines during high school math.


In this one, Calvin is looking worried while trying to do a school assignment: Explain Newton's First Law of Motion in your own words. [Just to point out, Calvin is six. I certainly wasn't learning about Newton or laws of motion at his age!]
Calvin then finds a loophole and writes: Yokka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink watoom gazork. Chumble spuzz.

This one is probably my favourite. Calvin's dinner [a shapeless blob of green yuck] starts quoting Hamlet's entire soliloquy at him, complete with overly theatrical gestures [and...stabs itself with a fork for some reason...]. It stops suddenly, and Calvin is left sitting there wondering what the heck happened, and then his dinner starts singing at him. The last panel depicts Calvin with his mouth full to bursting while his mum says "You finished that right up! Did you like it?" Calvin's reply: "Let's not have that ever again."

LOL those are awesome! I don't get the Newton one though with all the nonsense words. Maybe I missed something.

^The joke is that Calvin is supposed to recite Newton's First Law of Motion in his own words, so he just makes up random words.

Ohhhh! Groan, facepalm. LOL, guess I'm tired.

^You can make requests, too, just ask for Calvin doing something, anything ridiculous, and rest assured I'll find just the right comic.

We have Calvin & hobbes in the comic section of our newspaper, I think Calvin would be a handful to his parents.
There have been a few where he has a baby sitter who he doesn't like and gives Roslyn a hard time.
Not to mention how he treats Susie.

OP, I love Calvin and Hobbes, too!

Some of the Calvin and Hobbes cartoons are very word-heavy and as long as you can get somebody to read you the text, it wouldn't be necessary to have all the pictures described to you for you to be able to get the jokes. But others are very picture-heavy and some of them do not even include any words at all.

Karaudo777, those were some great contributions, but you need to remember that, since the OP is blind, she cannot see any of the pictures and you have given somewhat incomplete descriptions of some of them.

I am somewhat of a perfectionist so I hope you won't mind if I build on your own contributions to provide more information so that the OP can have a fully inclusive Calvin experience!

Here are my own (more complete) descriptions:

The first one is about Calvin's failure to be a super hero. Taken literally, it is just about a child at play. Reading between the lines, it is probably the cartoonist's way of communicating some sort of personal adult frustration that he was experiencing at the time. Bill Watterson often used Calvin and Hobbes as a channel to rant about things that were getting on his nerves. They were often thinly-veiled rants directed at his publishers. This particular story has four frames.

Frame 1: Calvin is pictured alone in his usual attire of stripy T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers. He is drawn against a blank background so we can't tell where he is. He is probably indoors inside his house, because that is where he usually is when no specific background has been drawn. He is drawn mid-stride as though he is about to march off somewhere in determination. His mouth is wide open as though he is shouting loudly. It is apparent that he is indulging in imaginative play and dressing up, because he has what appears to be a black blanket draped around his shoulders, and is holding onto it with one hand. His eyes are half-closed and narrowed in steely determination. The speech bubble coming out of his mouth says the following words: THIS is a job for...

Frame 2: Calvin is still pictured alone against the blank background and has now wrapped the blanket around his entire body but has apparently tripped over it. He is depicted with both feet off the ground as though falling over in slow motion. His eyes are drawn wide open as though he is startled. The drawing depicts him as spinning as well as tripping. He is drawn as saying the word "ack" at this point, which is a word used to convey disgust or frustration. Calvin is apparently experiencing frustration due to the fact that the blanket is too long for him and he can't stop tripping over it.

Frame 3: Calvin is still pictured alone against the blank background and still has the blanket wrapped around his entire body but is now in mid-air drawn horizontally, as though lying down in mid-air while about to land on the floor. This is the cartoonist's way of telling us that Calvin is about to fall smack down on the floor and land on his side. He has one hand extended upwards into the air as though trying to reach out and break his fall, but the other hand seems to be tangled up in the blanket. No words are drawn here.

Frame 4: Calvin is drawn lying down on his stomach on the ground with his feet sticking up in the air and the blanket has wrapped himself around him so that only his eyes and feet are visible. The effect is that he almost looks like he's been mummified by the blanket. His eyes are narrowed and he has been drawn with a crease on his forehead as though frowning grumpily. Calvin's friend the tiger Hobbes has now walked up to Calvin and is standing next to him looking down at Calvin with a perplexed expression on his face. Hobbes is drawn as asking Calvin to complete his sentence by asking him "for?" Calvin is drawn as replying grumpily from inside the blanket "somebody else".

I don't know what specific frustration Bill Watterson was experiencing on the day he drew that cartoon, but I'm sure all people have days that they feel that their job isn't going well and they wish they could hand it over to somebody else.

In the second story, there is only one frame. Calvin has been drawn against a blank background, sitting at a desk. From this, we conclude that he must be at school. No other students have been drawn. The teacher has not been drawn, either. Calvin is the only person drawn in this particular picture.

Kuraudo777 has made reference to a "teacher" but no teacher is in fact in the drawing. The presence of the teacher is an assumption that the reader is invited to make, due to the fact that Calvin has been drawn sitting at a desk, and also due to the fact that Calvin has been drawn raising his hand while making his "proposal". It is apparent that he is at school due to the fact that he's sitting at a desk and is raising his hand.

I identify with Calvin's "proposal" because I often used to think during maths class "why do I need to bother learning my multiplication tables if humans have invented calculators?"

In the third story, there are four frames. In frame 1, Calvin is once again drawn sitting at a desk with a blank background. The reader assumes he must be at school. A pencil and ruler lie on the desk in front of him. He is holding a sheet of paper in front of him at arm's length using both hands, and staring at it with wide eyes. His mouth is turned downwards as though in sadness or worry. Above Calvin's head, the cartoonist has written words to show what Calvin is currently reading on the sheet of paper. The words say "Explain Newton's First Law of Motion in your own words". Due to this, the reader concludes that Calvin must be taking an exam and is currently stumped by one of the questions.

In frame 2, Calvin is still sitting at his desk holding the sheet of paper in his hands but is now no longer staring at the paper. He is now gazing into thin air with a smile on his face as though a brilliant idea has suddenly occurred to him. An exclamation mark has been drawn above his head to hammer home the point that he has experienced a sudden idea. No words are used in this drawing.

In frame 3, Calvin is still siting at his desk and is now shown to be busily writing. Above his head, the cartoonist has drawn the words that Calvin is seemingly writing down. They are not English words. They are just made-up nonsense. Calvin is obeying the instructions literally, and is making up his own words to explain the Law.

In frame 4, Calvin is still sitting as his desk but has now finished writing and is leaning back in his chair relaxing with his arms behind his head. The piece of paper lies on the desk. The reader concludes that he must have finished his exam with time to spare, and can sit back and relax until the bell rings. Calvin now has a massive cheesy smile on his face. He is drawn making eye contact with the reader and looking directly at us, as he announces to us "I love loopholes"

I hope this helps and builds on the descriptions given by Kuraudo777. I can describe the one about the green gloopy dinner in detail as well, if you confirm that you wish me to do so. That one is very reliant on the drawings for comedic effect, so a lot of description would be necessary for you to be in on the joke and be able to appreciate the comedy. I do not wish to write excessively long posts here unless you first confirm to me that you would be grateful if I did so. Some people get angry at me for writing long posts so I have to rein myself in unless I am informed that my posts are welcomed.

^Oh. Sorry.

^ Not the OP's fault she didn't get the joke. Remember she is blind and can't see the drawings. It is the responsibility of sighted people to explain the drawings properly and thoroughly in order to ensure that the OP is able to get the joke. In my opinion, that was not done effectively.

I hope my opinion does not offend or upset anybody because that is not my intention. I'm sure posters mean well but people need to learn to see things (no pun intended) from a blind person's point of view, and realise that you need to describe everything. Do not assume the OP can see it. She can't. She'd blind. If you don't describe it, she won't know it's there.

The OP is presumably using software that will read out any words you type. If you type nonsense words, the software may glitch and may not read them out properly. So the OP won't get the joke.

It would have been a better idea to simply specify to the OP that Calvin wrote down some nonsense words, and leave it at that. What the exact words were isn't relevant. They were just random made-up gibberish.

I am not blind but I understand the basic concept that the OP cannot see, and relies on others to describe visual things to her.

Thumbhole, those descriptions are quite detailed, and they actually read like the script for a comic. Some of the details add to the comedy, yes. If you feel so inclined, please do add in a dinner detail or two.

I hope blind people everywhere start googling Calvin and Hobbes and land on this thread as the search engines index that they're looking for Calvin Hobbes descriptions or Calvin Hobbes comic scripts or whatever. That way, your work, and the work of anyone else who chooses to participate, will go farther.

Kuraudo, don't worry about being perfect. Even if you leave out a detail or two, there's enough going on that the comics are still funny. If you think about why you're laughing, that helps too, but you already knew that. There's also comedic value in the short and sweet, and it's a balancing act with descriptions.

Bottom line: I wouldn't be sitting here laughing when I have work to finish if it weren't for both of you.

Here's a good one.
Calvin's dad [all dressed for office-type work] is outside of his car in deep winter, yelling to Calvin: 'I'm going to be late for work!' in front of the car, Calvin had built a whole bunch of snowmen across the driveway as if they were walking [as much as snowmen can 'walk'], complete with a sign: Snowmen crossing.


This one involves Calvin building shark fins in the snow behind a frantically posed snowman 'swimming'. Hobbes asks, "snow sharks?" Calvin replies, "That guy's a goner."

I did post a long description of the dinner story but the website software timed out and the post was lost.

LOL sounds like hangman, snow shark style. Thumbhole, bummer about your post. I've had that happen when my phone went to sleep as I got interrupted. In your case, with the timeout, usually hitting back on your browser restores the post. Also periodically select all/copy.